pray for a broken heart and mind

Malachi45 · #51 9th March 2009, 07:40 PM

Hi Mate, one of the hardest thing in a christian's life is to love and forgiven themself.

Our Lord says to love one another as you love yourself, and to forgive one another as I forgive you.

I can see that you have had a terrible spiritually abused life, and it appears that you love and undestanding of our Lord was through manipulation by the churches that you attended. See that you live in Canada, I know of a group that has a Christian college/campus outside of Ontario called Living Waters or Rivers of Living Waters, heavens above I am not to sure now. I must go and do some research, and will get back to you. I will contact a contact!

HoneyComb Son · #52 9th March 2009, 07:59 PM

If it helps, I live in BC

I went to a charasmatic, vineyard type church i believe

if that helps

annrobert · #53 10th March 2009, 07:22 AM

HoneyCombSon,
what those people did to you was so wrong.What they taught you was wrong,Jesus speaks to us through His Word ,not visions and dreams and the Holy Spirit brings His words to our remembrance. Very occasioally the odd person may get a vision, not that they seek after either the person could get tricked.Those people did you wrong.Those kind even get very provoked and angry if questioned,not very godly.they want people to blindly accept what they teach and submit as if they think they are God themselves.Thats those kind of people that hurt people.But Jesus will heal you.Here are some posts that I posted on other threads ,I hope they can help you.What honest churches should have.
1 corinthians

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8Charity never faileth:

Is there proof that they are being awakened to the Holy Spirit?
Christians themselves should have already been awakened if they pass the test and the Spirit of God dwells in them and they are being led by Him.
The proof of the presence of the Holy Spirit is focusing on Jesus, being reproved of sin , committing to repent and obey Jesus and the fruit of the spirit in our lives, as well as ministering to the needy in secret,and cleaning up our hearts.
Sinners will become aware they are sinners and stop comparing themselves to others and justifying it and realize they need Jesus blood to wash them clean
and to make Him Lord and Saviour and obey Jesus, not just become infatuated with a spiritual high, neither should the christian think that a spiritual high is the ultimate rather than obeying Jesus teachings about ministering to the needy , the halt, the lame , the maimed and the least of these and those who can give nothing back, this takes time compassion and effort.
1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
Love includes making an effort for the broken and bruised, those people left for dead that the religious leaders ignored,(they probably did not have the time,they must have had too many more important things to do, such as religious dinners and conferences ) but the good samaritan, cared enough to take the time and effort cause he had real love.Jesus also took time to minister to outcasts and the broken hearted and commanded us to as well.
love includes taking time out to minister to the broken hearted, the weak and outcast.
love includes mercy campassion and longsuffering.
Loving Jesus means obeying Him and Jesus says if we neglect the least of these His brethern we are neglecting Jesus Himself.
Do these ministries teach about repentance and faith in Jesus,about obeying Jesus in all things.Do people go away with a conviction to repent and obey Jesus and minister to the needy.
Or do people go away feeling happy that their desire for a spiritual high got met,or because they think they got some annointing.
I guarantee that if we obey Jesus teachings , reconcile with people that have something against us , have compassion and mercy on the broken and out casts and take time for them, spend time alone in prayer in secret, that we will be walking in the Spirit.We must confess our faults one to another and pray for one another that we may be healed.Not just attending yet another conference.
Do the big shots make themselves available to the outcasts or are there plain clothed guards to make sure the really broken weak and bruised and poor cannot get near them, or do they allow a relatively short prayer line,where they touch each person for a few seconds each( and everyone seems to think this is wonderful except the few broken who made it into the prayer line somehow but went away still needy since they need some real effort and time put into them in private, not a few second prayer in public. the conference may be after all about good feelings and annointings not the broken weak and bruised) for people who are hoping to get yet another annointing that they will not use except on themselves and will not convict them of their selfishness or the need to visit the sick in their homes or caring for broken people or showing mercy and compassion or getting unforgiveness and bitterness and pride out of their hearts ,will they stop getting angry if people question them on these things, and thinking they are so much better than others and beyond reproach.just some things to consider.Do many of these big time ministries do these things?If they claim to, where is the proof and will they get angry if questioned?Is there proof they are obeying Jesus and walking in genuine love and compassion.Are their testimonies from people who were crushed and battered and shattered by life,that these ministries came and ministered to them with longsuffering and gentleness, time and compassion,are there testimonies about the sick being visited in their homes as well as hospitals, and being cared about, are the homeless in their own cities being cared for( there might be lots of homeless but there are many more christians ,plenty with lots of money. are there testimonies about how peoples hearts were changed and they went and made up with the people who have something against them and how they learned to forgive from their hearts,and how they now minister to the outcasts and needy and how they got pride and selfishness out of their hearts.Are there testimonies about people who have lasting change and love and peace and joy in their hearts even if they go through some hard times.obeying Jesus and loving people brings joy and peace even while we go through trials and persecution and heartbreak .Are there testimonies about people who realized that if someone was suing them at court, they were to give them even more than they asked for, that they were to give to them that ask and not to expect it back again,that they were to go the extra mile and love their enemies and do good to those who persecute them and pray for those who despitefully use them.To invite the broken weak and shattered and wounded into their homes for meals, and to do it with real love and compassion.Are the people realizing that they are not to seek for their clothes and drink and meat for after all these things the sinners seek but we are to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and the food clothes and drink will be added to us.The Holy Spirit gives special gifts to whomsoever He will.But all people who have the Holy Spirit living inside them are commanded to obey Jesus commands .Jesus said if you love Me you will keep my commands.These things would be proof. But advertising great and exciting things
about capturing and releasing the move of God ,When the Spirit of God is like the wind and goes where ever He wants to without being captured.This to me is not proof.Are Jesus Words hard teachings and involve dying to self and denying self and picking up our cross and following Him.Jesus said unless our works exceed the works of the scribes and pharasees ( the religious leaders of the day ) we will not enter into the kingdom of God.The scribes and pharasees lacked love and compassion, searched the scriptures but somehow still missed it.They were beautiful on the outside but gross on the inside.
Jesus Bless us all
annrobert

Another post I wrote somewhere else

I do not think we can go to a conference or some thing to get a gift of healing or to learn to activate the gift of the word of knowledge or something.
The bible says that it is a gift of the Holy Spirit being given out by the Spirit as the Spirit wills not man.I do not think that a person can to choose what gift they want and then go attend a school or course or conference to get the gift.We can not just choose to activate a gift just because we want it.The gift must be given by the Holy Spirit and He will lead us into all truth in how to use it.And it must be used according to Gods word.If people truly have these gifts and not counterfeits they will have love and the fruit of the spirit and all the other proof I put on here.
Romans
8For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;

9To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; notice the gift is given by the Spirit not a prophet and as the Spirit wills not man.
10To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: 11But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
Not everyone gets whatever gift they want just for some conference or course.
I would be wary of focusing on angels too.

colossians 2
18Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,

1 corinthians

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8Charity never faileth:

Jesus said He would send the Comforter to us. The Holy Spirit reproves the world of sin righteousness and Judgement.
The Holy Spirit leads people into all truth, not gold dust or feathers.
the Holy Spirit testifies of Jesus, not angels.
The Holy Spirit brings to our remembrance the Words of Jesus, therefore we must study the Words of Jesus so they can be brought to our remembrance at the needed times.Renew our minds with the washing of the Word not with prophets theology.
the fruit of the Holy Spirit is love and peace and joy,longsuffering ,patience ,self control, not boasting, etc.
Since love is the fruit of the Holy Spirit 1 corinthians decribes what love is.
Jesus said if you love me you will keep my commandents.
Much of Jesus teachings focused on love compassion and ministering to the needy and those who cannot return good deeds, also He preached on doing the good deeds in secret.He also taught about the condition of the heart and making the inside of the cup clean.He taught about dying to ourselves.He taught about seeking Gods righteousness, and forgiving people, not gold dust ,feathers or visions.
I have not seen any where that Jesus taught about focusing on Gold dust or angel feathers
Jesus said no one comes to the Father but by Me , not angels.
Do these ministries teach about repentance and faith in Jesus,about obeying Jesus in all things.Do people go away with a conviction to repent and obey Jesus and minister to the needy.
Do people go away with a conviction to go privately and shut the door and pray.
Jesus went away often to pray , He is our example.
The proof of the presence of the Holy Spirit is focusing on Jesus , committing to repent and obey Jesus and the fruit of the spirit, as well as ministering to the needy in secret,and cleaning up our hearts,( the inside of the cup) Not gold dust falling or angel feathers.
God Bless
annrobert
I hope this comforts you some HoneyCombSon,
I have posted a few of these type posts because this is what I think real christianity is more than all the other things focused on.I hope it helps you some .The church you were in did you wrong and led you wrong.Maybe not everything was wrong ,yet lots was and enough that it did you great harm.Those people will have to answer, if they do not repent.I will come back and address your whole post when I have more time.I am very sleepy now.
take care
annrobert

Malachi45 · #54 10th March 2009, 08:53 AM

Hi HoneyCombSon, still waiting for a reply from my friends in Canada.

Malachi45 · #55 10th March 2009, 06:59 PM

Here is the site, I will spell it out because the CF wont let me post the actual email address: info (at) singingwaters (dot) org. Replace (at) with "info@" and the (dot) with ".org".

Please get in touch with this ministry, I am sure they would be able to help you. Have sent the email address to you via PM.

annrobert · #56 10th March 2009, 10:25 PM

Originally Posted by HoneyComb Son

Thanks all for you words, peacechild, annrobert, and Elijah2

You are so welcome HoneyCombSon,I hope we are encouraging you.We want to support you and help you through all this.I know Jesus is going to stengthen you and heal you.

Sigh to explain how difficult it is to come to Jesus, to read the word of God, to know Him, is to bring back the issue of brainwashing and feeling controled. I am so confused about the last 7 years...I am not even sure if what i learned was false, yet I know some of it is, I just know the fruit of it, and even then I cannot say for sure..

If the teachings you got have brought you into bondage and torment and fear of Jesus they are wrong, not truth.If they made you think Jesus is a monster and not to be trusted they are wrong not truth.If they mixed up your thinking to know what is good or bad they are wrong, not truth.If they controlled and manipulated you ,they are wrong not truth.Because you were brainwashed you feel like you cannot escape the bondage, this is not true, because Jesus said nothing is impossible with God,tell Jesus about these feelings and how hard it is.Tell Him you fear Him.Tell Him you want to know what He is really like,His true nature.Tell Him you want to know the difference between freedom and bondage and good and bad.Jesus will not condemn you He will comfort you and lead you into truth.With man it may be impossible to overcome the nrainwashing ,fearing being controlled,confusion,thinking Jesus is a monster and all the torment, but not with God.Luke ch1 verse37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.
We can know truth from a lie based on whether or not it agrees with the bible.

John ch 8 verse 36

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
Romans ch8 verse 32

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall
he not with him also freely give us all things?

Isaiah ch 61 verse1

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

Luke ch4 verse 18
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

Back in recent years,while I was heavily into God, I feared, yet didnt know it, I felt Controlled and Swayed by God, like I had no control or desires or feelings or anything,This is not of God ,He never takes control, Jesus gives us freedom.Jesus does not ruin our personality,rather Jesus makes us whole, heals us , binds up our wounds and sets us free and feels us with a true peace and joy.
I felt controled and swayed by God to do whatever was right and stay away from wrong. I felt dread,This dread does not come from Jesus, Jesus is full of mercy and compassion and kindness. i felt my thoughts where not my own, in other words, I felt someone took over my body and wouldnt allow me to run my own body, I couldnt have a single thought that was my own,Jesus would clothe people in their right mind, not destroy them.Again Jesus makes us free and whole.I think the group you were with really brought you into bondage and let you think it was Jesus bringing you into bondage when infact Jesus came to set the captive free.Freedom does not control and destroy and manipulate and bring fear and torment. it became "its" desires and thoughts..All I thought I was following God, because that is what I was taught, sure I probably took what they taught alittle wrong, because what happened, I know that what they taught now is not necessary right.They taught you wrong. I felt Controled, like in my thoughts in my body and my physical actions. Because I learned God can talk to us through many means and ways. like closing your eyes and see what He shows you etc and other means God talks to us through His Word the bible and He never contradicts it, and the Holy Spirit brings to our remembrance the Word of God. well that did not work well for me.No doubt that teaching sounds dangerous. Years went by, I wasnt reall there in my body you could say, controled manipulated and i didnt fully realize it. All i was in was dread, i couldnt think couldnt speak couldnt be human, its as if desires and what it mean to be human was taken away, its like someone for force feeding me or changing me without asking me to, i felt someone was changing me inside without my permission, changing me and my desires what I liked as a person, what I was, what I did, what it means to be human, if that makes sense,This sounds like something the devil does.John ch10 verse 10 Jesus said,The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly
all i thought this somehow related to Jesus.Jesus does not do these things. So how do you think I think of Jesus of God. How do you think I Feel when all this relates in coordination with the unpardonable sin. not being able to think, because everything ties to the Blasphemy against The Holy Spirit. How do you think I feel when honestly out of love and desire tried to follow God, and learned all this "spiritual" stuf about God, about The Holy Spirit and how He works,Jesus is not holding this against you,He forgives us when we make mistakes, He understands when we have been confused and brainwashed and led astray. I intended no wrong, I intended to follow God,Jesus knows this. yet what i learned about how God works speaks and other things, I ended up manipluated, controled, false beliefs i cannot even sort out today, I live in torement. i cant even think of The Holy Spirit, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS WHEN I MEANT NO HARM I TRIED TO FOLLOW GOD!!I think that would feel just horrible and be tormenting . I never made the decision to feel like this, I WANTED GOD! yet I am condemned and have this in me, without my permission, because i tried to be humble and accept it could be of The Lord, yet in the long run was deception,The devil loves to deceive and confuse and then blame it on God ,the devil is out to destroy us and accuse us. so called spiritual stuff about God, about The Holy Spirit...all lead to these perverse distortion, where my mind, thoughts and all literally screwed up..cant think of God without some perverse mess. and I never intended to harm God.Jesus will set you free from all this,He understands, make a choice to trust Him enough to tell Him all about it because He cares and He came to set at liberty those who are bruised and set the captive free and nothing ,not even all this is impossible for Jesus.

"But, if you see them as a lot of “freaking rules or laws or formulas”, then you can’t be helped."
Jesus can and will help you,just come to Him despite all the confusion and ask Him to teach you about Him and tell Him every single problem and fear you have ,even about the unpardonable sin, tell Him everything that happened and that you are scared to come to Him and that you are scared He is a monster, tell Him it all, He knows and understands anyway and He cares and He came to seek and to save that which is lost.Tell Him about feeling controlled and
and ask Jesus to heal you, to lead you into truth and comfort you and save you from all this.Tell Him you want to know His real nature despite your fear.Tell Him you want to be free.Tell Him you make a decision to come to Him despite all the torment confusion and fears and mixed up thoughts and ask Him to help you trust Him,despite how hard it is.Jesus will not cast you out.Jesus will not let you down.Jesus knows we can do nothing without Him.Nobody is hopeless.Jesus is the way the truth and the life,just make a decision to come to Him with all problems.Nothing is impossible with Jesus.
Jesus makes all things new.

if I cant be helped so be it. Id rather die then go back to rules and formulas. Id rather live like this then go back to whats similar to hell.

Everyone can be helped. with Jesus all things are possible.We are weak but Jesus is strong.A bruised reed He will not crush and a smoking flax He will not snuff out.Jesus came to set at liberty them that are bruised and set the captive free.Jesus does not lead us into hell, Jesus delivers us from evil and no one is hopeless.Jesus says come to me and I will give you rest.It is good to renew our mind with these scriptures despite our fears and torments.

I told you all before, if i could I would. its not that easy, when you are mentally spirituall physically messed up.
Believe me I know it is not easy, yet Jesus sets the captive free.We must keep going to Him and never give up.Romans
2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
I mean this with my whole heart, All i wanted was truth. to be shown things abouot God. to be humble, now look what happened..I cant even tell within myself when Im telling the truth of a lie. who knows anymore
Romans
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I live in Canada, in BC if that helps...what am I scared about the churches here. read above, Im not going to hang around what causes me great harm. am I affraid of the consequences yes! Am I affraid of your opinion NO! i really dont care, I try to do whts best for me, what I can do for myself and my health, its because of this that I am on the verge of have went through a mental breakdown, my health fails!
Jesus is the way the truth and the life, no matter how scary , we come to Jesus our Saviour and Redeemer.
Romans
34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

I wish I could look to Jesus, but I cant even go to Him with much of any of my heart.
Jesus does not need much of our heart to begin His work, just a decision to come to Him, no matter what else is going on.
if you ask me what do you think of Jesus, yes i know He is love, but deep down from what has happened and what was shown and I heard. Jesus is a monster, angry, something I could never be around, if you were to say how Jesus is to you, all I know devil comes to mind, I dont mean that in any insult..you MUST understand, I say that..because thats all i know, deception, false Jesus' The devil pretending to be him to me, thats the Jesus i know, a false one. and I dont even honestly know that.

Jesus understands all this and He will show you who He really is, A saviour and nothing is impossible to Him.

when words are said to me: He protects you, He loves you, He does good to you. I DO NOT KNOW what that means or implies, because words take on a different meaning, good is bad, bad is good:S so confused

Jesus will sort all this out for you,tell Him about it and ask for help.
Jesus has the words of eternal life.Jesus is the resurrection and the life.There is hope,there is freedom,never give up,Keep calling Jesus
The creator of our souls and our hope and our anchor.

anyway God bless, ill try to stick in there, to what I dont know

God Bless You too HoneyCombSon
annrobert

HoneyComb Son · #57 15th March 2009, 05:48 PM

Hey again, thanks you all for your help..

I think I am affraid to go back into fellowship..cause its hard to see ahead..or I mean.affraid of judgement..i get anxiety attacks in church and thinking on God and living so called "holy"

its like I am affraid if I go back.well not go back..but you know..I know people will try to impress this "holy" life style on me.to me that means no fun..nothing..I tried that before..it caused me great fear..confusion.i couldnt think.nor do anthing..always sin sin sin..like I am affraid like of fear.when I think of it..anxiety attack..lol

ahh.cant explain.I keep posting cause I feel and know I am trying to explain something that is heavily hindering me and my walk with God.

like face it..go into all churches..people are like living wht they think is God's way..no this no that.its always NO NO NO.no fun..watch thoughts.dont do this..etc etc.its BONDAGE..cause i knwo it..i lived it..kind of more extreme end.but like fear fear fear..i want to go back.but I have this desire not too.cause of fear..judgement.i know there are things in my life that are sin..but i dont know..I am confused..cause I honestly dont know how to live..like righteous...honestly..before how I thought..how i thought ot be Christian.was so wrong..agrrh.i suck at writing.cant say what I mean...I honestly have OCD.and some mind issues that pervert and twist right and wrong.I wish I could let someone see through my eyes.and see how hard it is every day ..with daily tasks always worrying on right and wrong..what to do.in my workplace and life..seems all i do is wrong.and i seem everyone holding it against me..and God and christians..its like if i go back..i be there again..rules laws..do's and dont's.and I do not want to do back that way.it is hell..so I dont know the way..nor how to think.whts right nor wrong..somethings i know..murder..lying.etc.even thing confused.cant tell when I lie nor tell truth..hard.very hard

I go onto these forums here..spirit-filled ones and others..gets me angry..I know I am sucky christian.and do things wrong..yet on these forums..people seem to be like righteous and talking good.yet I see something wrong.even know I am confused and not know much of God..I SEE NO LOVE so much on these forums....sigh..it gets me angry..like with Tod Bentley.and the like..go onto Spirit-Filled forums.see for yourself..it does not take a smart person to realize that its all debate and agrueing over and over.like come on.I been here for months..well over year or two..that is all on here..debate argueing.whose view is right..like weird threads..like why God doent do this..or that.why God doesnt want you welll..why God wants you to suffer..etc

why the hell do we christians keep concentrating on these subjects!!..we honestly think God is like this..

where are the threads on..God is good..made nature beautiful....does good to us.true dying to self..to GOODNESS and LOVE!!

freak.I am so angry with believers..ask anyt other nonbeliever..they are affraid of us.judgemental..we cristize.put down..etc..if nonbelievers can see this..and dont have God and true wisdom..how blind are we..and how much more God can see it

if people on here..or anywhere else.wants ot be angry and tear others apart.with so called righteous and self perspective right thinking..then il get angry at em not loving and their freaking self deluding mind..ill get angry at em for not loving

its this reason I am partly here...i come here.to get help.cause i Need it..badly..yet I am torn apart..but peoples "righteous" why cant we call em out.that is true calling people out of their wrong..

I am so confused as is...yet I cant find peace..nor love from breathen..hard to see God when cant trust..cause people are so called "loving" me with this hellish love.of fear dread..its like they thi8nk they are doing Gods work

sigh i go now..God blesss

want help..yet want true help..if not get..someone hurt me..God bless em.but I will call em out cant handle..pharisee peopel anymore..i think we Christians need to judge ourselves..FIRST..harshly in the fact..WE ARE BLIND AND NOT LOVING AS WE SHOULD..if we are to fear the Lord..i think its so beacuse we are not loving as we should as He wants us to..He probbably mad.cause we are so stuck up in self..and not loving..love forgives..true forgiveness

peacechild4 · #58 16th March 2009, 12:50 AM

Brother.. you need to forgive all the people that have hurt you even all the ones here who are wrongly treating you.. JESUS forgave us.. so we must forgive others too..

It surely does free you.. my husband often gets angry at me.. but I just love him back.. the joy that comes from loving others is the same joy that strengthens us to keep doing it..

Love comes from GOD.. Just have to get our eyes onto the love.. if I saw the hurt in my husband... instead of just the way he treats me.. I would see that he was hurting and that is why he does it..

We are all not perfect yet brother..

But we will be... Praise GOD!

annrobert · #59 16th March 2009, 02:33 AM

[quote=HoneyComb Son;51132045]Hey again, thanks you all for your help..You are welcome.

I think I am affraid to go back into fellowship..cause its hard to see ahead..or I mean.affraid of judgement..i get anxiety attacks in church and thinking on God and living so called "holy"

I think going back to church,one that teaches truth based on the bible would be a good idea, to help you get support and more grounded in the bible and to fellowship with other believers.It is especially important to have people to pray with.Jesus said to confess our faults one to another and pray for one another that we may be healed.We are not to live so called holy , but to live holy, truly holy in obedience to Jesus out of love for Him.We get the strength and joy to do this easier when we are sure He loves us and forgives us and we understand in our hearts and spirits that He died for us and rose again three days later.We must understand that Jesus is Holy Perfect and Lord and our Master, that He is a good Master and a gentle and loving and kind Master who forgives us our sins when we repent of them.We must understand that Jesus is a Master that protects us and heals us and sets us free and that He loved us so much He died for us.Jesus is also our Master Creator and He is Lord and Judge of all.We can pray and read the bible and the Holy Spirt will teach us all about Jesus.Yes living Holy is not about feeling good,it is about obeying Jesus commands and they are not burdensome.Rather following Jesus sets us free.

its like I am affraid if I go back.well not go back..but you know..I know people will try to impress this "holy" life style on me.to me that means no fun..nothing..I tried that before..it caused me great fear..confusion.i couldnt think.nor do anthing..always sin sin sin..like I am affraid like of fear.when I think of it..anxiety attack..lol

When we decide to obey Jesus ,it should not cause fear,it should and will cause joy.The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin and sometimes He uses other christians to confront us in love , He also uses the bible to convict us of sin.There are very many God fearing christians and christian leaders out there.They are not perfect , but they are godly and forgiven and have a heart for Jesus.Maybe the group you were with before taught some errors and faulty teaching,this does not mean they are evil,it just means they made mistakes maybe.I do think people need sound teaching and to make sure what they are being taught agrees with the Word of God.But not everyone who makes a mistake is bad.Obeying Jesus brings us joy and peace and love, not sin.

ahh.cant explain.I keep posting cause I feel and know I am trying to explain something that is heavily hindering me and my walk with God.

Even if you make mistakes sometimes, I hope your heart is set on obeying Jesus.Completely surrendering your whole life and heart to Him.Jesus came to set us free and since Jesus made us He knows what is good for us and what is bad for us.We did not make ourselves and we are not capable of knowing this on our own ,we must submit to Jesus and trust and obey Him.We especially need to get to know Him through bible reading and prayer and also telling Him about every problem and doubt we have.Being completely open and honest with Him in all things.

like face it..go into all churches..people are like living wht they think is God's way..no this no that.its always NO NO NO.no fun.

Most churches , people are truly following God with their hearts even if they make mistakes and stumble sometimes, nobody is perfect.Sin is destructive even if it deceives a person into thinking it is fun.Jesus came to set us free, free from sin and free to obey Him.It is sin causes enslavement and bondage, coming to Jesus and repenting and obeying Him is the only way to wholeness and peace and joy and freedom.

.watch thoughts.dont do this..etc etc.its BONDAGE..cause i knwo it..i lived it.

That is not true , watching our thoughts and obeying Jesus is never bondage.It is sin and our depraved nature and our rebellion to God that causes bondage and despair, when we refuse to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, that is what causes brokenness and confusion and despair and fear and bondage.It may not cause all brokeness and pain as some comes from living in a fallen world.Yet sin will always destroy in the end.Maybe if a person is thinking they are condemned they will fear or if they think Jesus is out to get them they fear, but serving Jesus and obeying Him and trusting Him to forgive us and protect us and submitting to Him brings freedom and safety.

.kind of more extreme end.but like fear fear fear...

The real fear is not understanding that sin destroys a person.The real fear is thinking we do not have to obey Jesus.The real fear is thinking that obeying Jesus causes bondage when it is disobedience that causes bondage.It may not be the only way bondage comes, but disobedience does cause bondage.

i want to go back.but I have this desire not too.cause of fear..judgement.

When a christian comes to help you and correct and encourage you in the truth that is love,to ignore it all , that would be careless and not loving.Just so long as they do it with love and kindness.Christians need to take time to help one another and bear each others burdens.

i know there are things in my life that are sin..but i dont know..I am confused..cause I honestly dont know how to live..like righteous..

This is why we need to read the bible every day,not just read books or listen to cds but to read the bible ourselves and to make sure we pray every day.This is why need we need to fellowship with other believers , who are mature in the faith.

.honestly..before how I thought..how i thought ot be Christian.was so wrong..agrrh.i suck at writing.cant say what I mean...I honestly have OCD.and some mind issues that pervert and twist right and wrong.I wish I could let someone see through my eyes.and see how hard it is every day ..with daily tasks always worrying on right and wrong..what to do.in my workplace and life..seems all i do is wrong.and i seem everyone holding it against me..and God and christians.

This again is why it is so important to read the bible lots every day to renew your mind and to pray every day.Jesus is not a monster for wanting obedience.Rather His love demands our obedience as He made us and knows what is good for us.Obeying Jesus sets us free and gives us peace and joy.Jesus is a gentle and kind and compassionate and merciful Master.Jesus is a healing and protective and forgiving Master.Jesus is a Master who came to earth and gave His very life for us.

.its like if i go back..i be there again..rules laws..do's and dont's.and I do not want to do back that way.it is hell..so I dont know the way..nor how to think.whts right nor wrong..somethings i know..murder..lying.etc.even thing confused.cant tell when I lie nor tell truth..hard.very hard

If the church is a bible believing church and they teach the bible that is what is important.If the bible says to do something and they preach it they are just preaching the truth,if the bible says not to do something and they preach that again they are preaching truth.It is not their rules but rather Gods.Jesus said if we love Him we will keep His commands , it is our choice and if we rebel we get bondage and despair as that is the result of sin.But eternal life , freedom and joy and love and peace come from believing in and submitting to Jesus.

I go onto these forums here..spirit-filled ones and others..gets me angry..I know I am sucky christian.and do things wrong..yet on these forums..people seem to be like righteous and talking good.yet I see something wrong.even know I am confused and not know much of God..I SEE NO LOVE so much on these forums....sigh..it gets me angry.

I believe in being Spirit filled.I just am against people only focusing on feelings and neglecting the broken or needy.Yes some christians do not show much love, but many christians do show love,many have some love just not enough.I agree some christians are selfish and self centered, but many are not as well.Those who are selfish and unloving just need to grow up and mature in Jesus.This does not take away the truth of the bible or our obligation to obey Jesus and submit to Him.There are many many christians who do show much love and help the broken and needy.Yet we stand before God alone and cannot blame anyone else if we choose not to make Him Lord of our life and heart.I disagree with making false prophesies , this does not mean that all people make false prophesies , some make true ones.I do not agree with going around trying to get special gifts when it is up to the Holy Spirt who He gives them to.I think we are to focus on obeying Jesus and having mercy more than focusing on visions , I see no evidence that we should be focusing on angels.We must test prophesies and make sure they agree with the bible.We must have love for Jesus which is proved by our obedience, we must have love for other people and care about the broken and needy.We must clean up our hearts and stop sinning,then we will have the joy and peace from Jesus.I believe the baptist type people and pentecostal type people are both saved and filled with the Holy Spirit, but the pentecostals have an extra annointing.Both need to obey Jesus and not be selfish and self centered.Both have true christians and and luke warm christians in their church .This does not give any of a an excuse to not submit to Jesus.

.like with Tod Bentley.and the like..go onto Spirit-Filled forums.see for yourself..it does not take a smart person to realize that its all debate and agrueing over and over.like come on.I been here for months..well over year or two..that is all on here..debate argueing.whose view is right..like weird threads..like why God doent do this..or that.why God doesnt want you welll..why God wants you to suffer..etc

These people might get worked up in their debates and it does not mean they are bad.However I do not believe God wants us to suffer ,Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and set the captive free and set at liberty them that are bruised.However all christians will be persecuted for righteousness sake and will be rewarded in heaven and no christian is immune to the regular suffering caused by living in a fallen world, however christians have an inner joy and peace and comfort from the Holy Spirit in them that the world does not have.
Christians do need to grow up and mature in Jesus , at least many of us do.We need to stop being so selfish and self centered and go out into the highways and biways and bring the halt and the lame and the maimed in to church and to our meals.We need to care for the broken and needy.We need to clean up our hearts and get the sin out of our lives ,at least many of us do.However their are many christians who are doing this already and it is a progress.None of us are perfect yet, we are all in different stages of growing.It is a journey.We are forgiven and redeemed and have given our hearts to Jesus and made Him our Lord and Saviour, and are admitting our sins and confessing them and repenting and trying to get closer to Jesus.We are reading our bibles and spending time in prayer.We are working at getting closer to Jesus and submitting to Him and looking forward to heaven.

freak.I am so angry with believers..ask anyt other nonbeliever..they are affraid of us.judgemental..we cristize.put down..etc..if nonbelievers can see this..and dont have God and true wisdom..how blind are we..and how much more God can see it

Christians need to reach out to the world in love while preaching the gospel and showing love, some christians do this and some do not.Only Jesus can judge His servants and not another person.

if people on here..or anywhere else.wants ot be angry and tear others apart.with so called righteous and self perspective right thinking..then il get angry at em not loving and their freaking self deluding mind..ill get angry at em for not loving

We must ourselves show love and forgiveness from our hearts.Sometimes we get frustrated but we are not perfect ourselves.I surely am not.I agree that some people act all self righteousness and do not have love.and the bible says if we give our bodies to be burned and have not love we are worthless.However it is loving to teach and correct with love and gentleness.

its this reason I am partly here...i come here.to get help.cause i Need it..badly..yet I am torn apart..but peoples "righteous" why cant we call em out.that is true calling people out of their wrong..

It is frustrating if we come for help and get harshness instead.Yet their are christians who show love.It is most important to go to the bible for truth and to spend time in prayer getting to know Jesus for ourselves.

I am so confused as is...yet I cant find peace..nor love from breathen..hard to see God when cant trust..cause people are so called "loving" me with this hellish love.of fear dread..its like they thi8nk they are doing Gods work

We need to keep our eyes totally on Jesus even if other people let us down.Jesus has the love and compassion and power to set us free and fill us with love and joy and peace ,and Jesus power is full of tender mercies and we just need to go to Him in submission and ask Him.

sigh i go now..God blesss

annrobert · #60 16th March 2009, 02:35 AM

want help..yet want true help..if not get..someone hurt me..God bless em.but I will call em out cant handle..pharisee peopel anymore..i think we Christians need to judge ourselves..FIRST..harshly in the fact..WE ARE BLIND AND NOT LOVING AS WE SHOULD..if we are to fear the Lord..i think its so beacuse we are not loving as we should as He wants us to..He probbably mad.cause we are so stuck up in self..and not loving..love forgives..true forgiveness[/quote]

I see you are hurt and have probably been let down and not cared about by some christians and that is painful.I have been let down also.Yet I will keep my eyes on Jesus and the fact that He alone is my Saviour and I want Him to use me to help others as I continue to go to Him for inner strength and healing, for myself.

I do believe some christians are getting caught up in false teachings, angels, visions , selfish hypes and self centeredness rather than true obedience and mercy and repentance.Just some of them, not all of them by a long shot.And I do also believe christians need to start reaching out and taking time for the halt the maimed and the lame and the broken hearted and the poor.I am sorry if I was misunderstood.As the christians , the people of God are redeemed by the Blood of Jesus and they love Him and Jesus has forgiven them all their sins.Some are more mature than others.I do worry about what seems to me to be false doctrines coming out and christians focusing on the wrong things.They could get enslaved and deceived.Everything must agree with the bible.Rememebr this is being wrote by a broken and suffering person.I have been through so much brokeness and despair.I am learning to go to Jesus for healing and to meditate on the Word of God.I like reading the gospels and psalms and proverbs and Romans.I have so much to learn.I hope you continue to heal and get stronger and stronger HoneyComb.I hope you continue to reach out to Jesus and to reach out here as well and I hope you find a good church to attend.Jesus is the answer , He has the words of eternal life.Jesus words are truth and they are life.We can go to Jesus as a child trusting and obeying and telling Him anything and asking for help and worshipping Him.Studying the bible.Jesus Bless You
annrobert