pray for a broken heart and mind

Thanks all, thanks again Peacechild

I am stuck i know that, But the thing is, I am so confused, its like this: you believe and were taught certain way how something works(in this case God) after years, it becomes second nature, its engrained in you, its how you know things its what you percieve and expect. Now for me, its like this, however, what I thought was God, I know now was not, and even still I am not sure in the end, I am really confused, its like I been stuck in viewing hearing things for so long, its hard to accept or open up to what could be of God, dont think i am stubborn im not, its like hard to see or hear or see things differently, because of fear, condemnation and the damage that the things of the past has done to my mind, logic etc...OCD too.. so hard because right and wrong is blurry, with OCD, sigh its hard to explain...

you know, I know and believe in spiritual things, healing, tongues etc..whenever I am around them though, or hear of them, i get so scared, terrifried, because of the deception I was in, I saw so much, yet it was Satan doing the same things God does, sigh:S yet I know it was not GOd cause it hurt me so much inside, the best way I can say it is like..for me...its lke whenever Satan is around I percieve it as God, that is what i know, that my expereince is, and what is from God, the stuff I am closed to seeing, the stuff that i never think could be from Him, I think is of Satan:S

sigh that is best way I can say it..hope understand

Here its like this:

I became Christian, but though I thought I was following God, Satan decieved me, looked like Jesus felt like Jesus, pretended to Be Jesus, I then followed this fake Jesus, for so many years, I learned from Him, and through the years that is what I thought of Jesus. However, after a while, after relevation, you find out its not Jesus, its Satan. So what you know of God, is actually Satan, however imagine the scars that would live, the perception it would have of me having against God, All I know is of Satan painting it a color of truth when its a lie, deep stuff spritual stuff..sigh i hope that clears things up

I understand, it might take you awhile, I think you will get there, (in fact I saw it).

God bless brother, will be praying for.

P.S. Try praying to God rather than just trying to manifest (or recieve) spiritual stuff, if that makes sense. I think it will help you. You have been taught wrong. I'm here for you.

God bless.
Your brother in Christ.

P.S. The devil will always offer you knowledge, (think of the knowledge tree in the garden), but sometimes God just wants to play catch with you, like a Father and a Son, hope that makes sense. It will take time but you will get there, God will pull your through, trust me, I've seen it for you

By the way, I keep hearing the Andy Griffith theme song when I think of you, and I do see you smiling, don't know if that makes sense for you or helps you. He's here for you.

God bless.

I want to apologise brother for the times I have not truly listened.. I want to ask forgiveness for not understanding.. I want to ask forgiveness for failing you..

I am so glad you have not given up!! You are so brave and courageous.. struggling so with all this..

Because God says He is faithful.. and He says He will heal the sick and raise them up and that the prayer of faith based on Him brings answers.. I believe that.. and will not give up praying the prayer of faith for you..

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Hey thanks all, lol I believe I am hard on myself, though I dont know it, that is where some of the guilt comes from. I reallize that i cannot overcome this by myself. only in God.

its not of God, i know, but I also dont know, I am still confused by alot of it, alot of it i wonder if its from God, you know Satan decieved me, his imprints are still effecting me
you know the saying, how are earthly father treats us, also makes us view God in a way...and that is how I feel, one time I asked to myself wht God is or like.....and in all honestly Satan came to mind..and still does, not because of any my angry or sin..but because that is honestly I thought God was or is..cause of Satan being GOd to me..acting like Jesus

that is why its hard to know what Good actaully is or love..because its all been taught to me..through the false teachings of Satan and what he does

I wonder what actually God actually is..

I heard once..that if we knew God truly is..we woulld all desire and run to HIm..actually wanting Him....actaully desiring Him....I dont know that...People pray and hear from God..the get peace joy good stuff..All i know is fear dread and anxiety from that...that is what i tought i recieved from God..but I was told it was peace and joy:S


lol that is messed eh

You do not need to apologize Peacechild, I dont even know what fully happened to me, nor explain it, its all very deep and spiritual. sigh

I thank you for being there for me
you trying is what counts..and thank you for that

As a victim of spiritual abuse, my image of God is badly warped...sigh I have been looking for truth teaching of Gods goodnes and who He is, I have only caughta glimpse of this from random people, sigh its so hard to find, even amongst us Christians

I mean I want to know God, as is, not with this relgious crap, traditional view, that everyone has, because its wrong..lol sorry to be honest...like from what I got from a glimpse of people or what I saw, God is good, loving actually cares for me, etc. like it made you want God more, yet I only got a glimpse and then it gets washed away from other people saying otherwise, and they are Christian, sigh...it really is so rare it seems to find people who actually know Jesus. as is, without a hiccup of regliious nonsense..

like I have had enough of this suffering doctrine crap, thia formulation that we Christians do to portray God, this forums i mean website is loaded with it..lol i am sorry but it is, and i know others see it..

like anyone know places or anything..I have tried to read the word of God for myself..I pray before hand, lol i get anxiety attacks and see the same harsh angry God still..does not change

I pray and talk to God:S

Brother don't be afraid if these things seem not to be yet because they will.. I am learning to speak things into existance because that is what God did.. He spoke into the darkness and it became light.. All because of a beautiful little scripture that has come alive to me.. and made me understand things about how God works.. and we are truly made in his image.. so these things are part of how we are made!!

God spoke to Abraham that he was going to be a Father of many nations long before it happened.. but praise GOD it was always going to happen.. I think and see that for us.. this is truth too..

As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.
Romans 4:17


HoneyCombSon is created in YOUR image LORD so I know it is possible for him to have a right view of YOU.. I thank YOU for rescuing him from the darkness and translating him into the light.. LORD I speak a new heart and right SPIRIT into him.. His heart is healed and set free in JESUS.. and for that we thank YOU.. LORD his spiritual eyes are open and he can see clearly.. He is finding joy and hope as never before.. and he can understand and is free from anxiety and condemnation.. To God be all the glory.. My brother is truly free!!

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Praying for you Honeycomb. You sound very lonely and discouraged with your problem, and I pray that you get relief soon.

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