[thread move] Dont Judge Me

so.. because i know you all do what title says..

i'm asking for tips on how to break away from smoking pot or drinking every night?

don't lie, i know 90% you guys do it too!

((if you're in my shoes haha))

Every night? I will be honest and say that many of my friends have smoked a lot of pot-- but I'm not sure they ever smoked every night. I myself have never smoked, so I really can't put myself in your shoes or give you too specific of advice but here goes:

1. Pray. Give your addiction up to God and ask Him to help you quit. Part of our relationship and walk with Him is entering into His rest, that we don't have to face the world alone.

2. Know the reasons you want to quit. Saying you want to quit is one thing, but knowing why is entirly different. This becomes your motivation and helps you keep focus. When you're feeling like you really need to smoke or drink, instead of thinking about how much you miss them you can instead focus on just how much your life is improving without them.

3. Find an alternative. That is, do something to take your mind off of it. I wouldn't reccomend another "substance" like coffee, because then you are likely to become addicted to that. But doing something like running or playing a sport may help keep your mind off the addiction.

Good luck and God bless. :]

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****Thread moved from College/ Bible College for better input.****

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brother, your first mistake was assuming people would judge you. Well, you're merely asking for it when you title it that way.

You seem very uneasy about this. You want to stop smoking pot every night (or drinking), yet you reverse it onto the audience, and then laugh about it while turning it back to yourself. You're not happy about it are you? You do want to stop, but you're friends compell you, you aren't exactly overjoyed to be where you are at...am I hitting anything familiar yet? You don't come straight out and say you want to quit. Your request is much less than that, you only want to stop smoking and drinking every night...so...what? how many nights a week is OK? Just one? Just weekends? you really want to break the cycle? The habit? You have to stop altogether.

Are you in college? Living with friends? Alone? Do you usually drink and smoke with friends or alone? Determing these things can really help to change things up a bit. If you know WHEN you do these things, then you can know where not to hang out so much.

So you don't feel like I'm downing you and acting high and mighty, I'll tell a bit of my own situation. I've been smoking pot since high school. I'm not heavily addicted, never smoked every night (that would have been impossible, my mom's a freak at catching people out at stuff like that), but once I left the states, I could drink as much as I wanted, and I have. I don't quit things, I merely trade off for a new one for a while. I haven't been drinking for a while now, I haven't got any money. I have just enough for food. I get to drink every couple weeks or so, but not ever enough to be drunk. Also, besides that fact, I'm actually trying to stay sober because being drunk and high makes me feel stupid and it's just ridiculous.

So, do you really want help? Do you want to stop for good? Or just do it less? Can you be serious about it or are you just going to be shifting focus and joking about it?

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I've got lots of poems...if you wanna read them...PM me....

yikes, well uh, i didn't mean to come off the wrong way, just keeping it light...
if i wasn't serious, i def. wouldn't be posting here bud.

i've actually never really opened up about this before so just bear with me, sorry

i don't feel like i'm addicted to them. i mean, i know i could stop tomorrow and never touch either of them again. it's more of a situation where i feel stuck. stuck around the same group of friends in college, yet trying to make friends with the Christians on campus but can't really because i know what group of friends i really hang out with. which keeps me ALSO from getting to know the Christian girls closely too.


heh. i don't know, i'm just ready for my life to head in a direction i know it should go.

No harm done, i'm simply trying to ring you back in, rally you a bit. What you're dealing in CAN become very serious, although currently it seems quite like it hasn't. It's obvious to me that you are trying. This is terribly important. What you're experiencing more or less, however, is yourself holding yourself back. Because you EXPECT something, you are making it happen. I can see that immediately from the title of your post, and what you just explained to me. You EXPECT people to judge you, therefore causing people to judge you. You EXPECT people to dislike you because of the friends you hang out with and the things you do, and therefore, seemingly, they do. This isn't the case! You project your feelings into situations, and often, without knowing it, make the situation uneasy for others who tend to then treat you poorly or ignore you or whatnot. You feel as though they know who you hang out with, the activities you are pursuing, etc. You know that you're holding yourself back. You're thinking about it all wrong. Don't think because you have certain friends that you can't change friends and get new ones. How close are you to graduating? Do you have programs at your college to go abroad, spend a semester at a satellite campus, or something like that? This can be very helpful as a change in environment can allow us to change our activities. This can also allow us to gain new friends. The trouble here then however, is keeping these new activities and friends when we return to the old place. This is difficult but can be done. If you have no other place to spend a semester at, that isn't saying it's not possible to change yourself, it is simply another possiblity (studying somewhere else I mean, merely an idea, by no means a requirement).

So you feel stuck, alright...hmm...are you going to church? Whether you are or not, make sure that you are going to a church that isn't going to say "you smoke pot? GET OUT" upon receiving that sort of news. Those aren't the kind of christians you need to be hanging out with, those are high and mighty puff balls who think God's going to let them in first (won't they be surprised when you walk in ahead of them, ha!). Anyway, church is terribly important. You need to be getting yourself around christians on a weekly basis. Even better, start going to a bible study, prayer group, etc...(both is great, yes). Ease in slowly, don't just throw yourself in. Start going to church, get to know some people, find out about their bible studies, groups, theology, etc and then pick some group or study to begin attending. Don't just go once and blow it off...try it out for a couple months, see how it goes. if you like the way things go, stick with it, if not, try another aspect, if the church just doesn't flow, find another. What really matters is finding people you can relate to who can also help lift you up and away from your earthly desires and stuckness.

The more time you spend with christian friends, the less time you will have for your pot smoking, drinking friends. This will begin to happen naturally as you move towards new friends. It has to be conscious although it doesn't have to hurt too much. And one last thing...don't be trying to get clean, get christian friends, and a girl friend all at once...try just getting on solid ground and out of the drug and drinking habit first...otherwise, you could end up dragging down the girl. Just a suggestion, unless you think you could deal okay...usually, we can't deal as well as we think we can. most people surprisingly don't know themselves all too well, even though they could swear up and down the US coast that they do.

__________________
I've got lots of poems...if you wanna read them...PM me....

Following up on M. Es post and going back to your last, you say you know you could stop both tomorrow?

Okay, do exactly that. For a specific period. A week, two weeks, a month. Tell a few people you see every day that you're doing it. And see how it goes.

The First Step of A.A. and N.A. involves recognizing that "our lives had become unmanagable," and there's certainly some evidence of unmanagability in your being "stuck" with one group of friends and unable to pursue another because you drink and blow pot. Sounds like your habits are taking away your freedom to choose. So, make this choice, and see if it's as easy as you think.

BTW, I have for one reason or another never done pot; but I drank steadily for something on the order of 21, 22 years; and have now been sober for over 24. Though you were a little harsh in your original post, I think you're on the right track. The people you want to talk to are the people who've been where you are.

well... i want to quit so bad, but i don't have any other real Christian friends. i'm already so close to my current group of friends... ugh they're texting me

there is no easy way to do this is there..

it's not breaking away from the pot/alcohol that's hard.. it's breaking away from those party friends i feel so close to and finding Godly ones..

well.. i've decided that here's what i'm gonna do. i know if i prepare myself mentally, i can take on the task of declining every hangout session with my friends. SO, for the next two weeks, i'm going to completely decline/ignore everyone of my bad influence friends when they ask to hang out, including every party-sized hang out also.

i demand my life go in the direction it should already be.

and now... what will i do with all this time? i guess try to connect with some Christian people and perhaps find some Godly friends.

any help while i undertake this task would be so much appreciated.
much thanks guys.]