I used to be a regular poster here, but haven't posted here in a really long time. In fact, years ago I had requested an unequally yoked section on these forums and that's how this section came to be. I wish it wasn't necessary though
I have been married for almost 18 years. The first 10 neither of us was saved. My husband was raised Catholic and is incredibly supportive of my faith. I am married to the most wonderful husband in the world and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I truly just wish he was saved.
I agree that respect is of the utmost importance. I can't understand the person who said they are OK with their husband not being saved. What??!! How can you be OK with that?
In the beginning I tried to convert my husband, but quickly learned that his salvation is not my responsibility. It is my responsibility to live in a Christ-like manner with him and that way he will be won over without a word. I have to say, this is extremely challenging for me and I fail every single day. But I know that God is working in his life, as well as mine.
My wife has been saved, baptised the whole bit. I was brought up in a Christian home, learned to love and respect God, done everything except baptise. We go to different churches, but every Sunday we pay our respects.
My discomfort is this. I am happy with the way my spiritual life is. I am not out thumping my chest, proving to the rest of the world God loves me better or acting as if the drug I am on is called Jesus. If that is your way and it makes Him smile, go for it. I do my very best to keep my heart pure, and follow God's word. She does her own thing at her church so we rarely meet at that venue. Why is it that no matter how clean I am inside, no matter how hard I try I am not happy? As bad as the rest of the world may be, there are some great things about life that really does not need sanitation between married couples. Sex and intimacy, work and raising children just to name a few. I dont want my kids to be preists, I want them with great morals, high standards and a love for life. It really burns me when she goes on how evil the world is as if there is no hope. I do beleive God knew exactly what he was doing in Creation, and all this is part of the story. Am I being swayed by secularism, not close enough to God? I am 46, she is 48, married 16 years. By the way, I am also sick and tired of being married.
Last edited by Straybullet; 16th February 2009 at 02:52 PM.
When I met my hubsy he was a complete disaster. Even doubting Thomas would have wanted to club him over the head. However over time he has begun to come around. We talk about God and faith, he asks me questions and I answer as best I can.
His gradual acceptance of God & Christ remains a work in progress. I think he is changing because I dont force the issue; I let him come to me and I share my faith.
It has taken 5 years but he now wants to go to church. So we are looking for a church where we can have healthy fellowship. He is still unsure but he is now willing to explore the idea of having a relatioship with God.
I think people come to God when they are ready. The hurt comes from one person trying to force their beliefs on another.
A lot of people on this thread have talked about "being saved"
We can all be redeemed or saved right up to the moment when we take our last breath
God wants to save and redeem all of us
A person is not saved or superior Just because they go to church and conform to religious dogma; they will be saved by the faith and love they hold in their hearts and souls.
Maybe the way to bring our loved ones to God is to back off and let them find God in their own time and way.
__________________ [/SIGPIC]striving to be better
Last edited by kitty.lover; 24th February 2009 at 03:08 PM.
i have been married for twentyfive years to a non beleiver (sort of) my wife was saved in her teen years then rebelled and dabled in everything else bubba wicca whatever she thought would get the biggest rise out of me.She is now returning to her roots but it is a miricle in progress.Our life together has much more pain than necisarry because we have been UY. the bottom line for me is this: If you beleive God is the single most important thing in your life How can you share your heart fully with someone who does not?
I want to share this intimacy with my wife but cannot she does not understand. I have long since learned it is not my job to convert her and at least she tolerates my beleifs for the most part But I don't want the closest human relationship I have to be about mutually tolerating the most important things in our hearts.
While I would marry her all over I love her dearly and I am happy with who I am and she is part of that. I would not marry a non Christian ever again.
I, too, have been married for 25 years to a non-christian. I became a Christian very soon after getting married. My husband is a Jewish atheist who I met in Israel so, not only are we unequally yoked, we are also culturally diverse. As much as I love my husband, I have missed out on the deepest intimacy a relationship can have - that of being united in Christ. Although he is a wonderful person we have evolved over the years into very different people, who still love and respect each other, but who see things from very different perspectives. This has created great loneliness and heartache at times.
More than this, I would say the biggest potential casualties in an UY marriage are the children - who receive such mixed and confusing messages. This has contributed to one child becoming immersed in New Age teachings which she feels satisfies her spiritual needs without condemning her loved ones to hell, and the other child having faith but not obedience. Even though there are no guarantees for equally-yoked couples regarding their children, at least there is consistency and the ability to support each other and pray together for their children.
Even though I love my husband very much, I would not choose to marry a non-Christian. Apart from all the difficulties it presents, it is disobedience to God.
I made this post almost one year ago. And I would just like to report that I am still outstandingly happy Never has this changed for even one nano-second.
My husband has changed his self-identification from non-practicing Christian, to Agnostic. I believe it suits him much better, so I'm happy for him understanding himself better. That's an important part of life.
He continues to be the most wonderful, amazing man I've ever known and I am blessed each and every day I get to be with him. We are utterly happy together.
I think the fact there is an unequally yoked section on thse forums speaks for itself. Marriage is difficult anyway, but an unequally yoked marriage is even harder. I could never be happy at the thought of my husband not going to heaven. I love my husband, but if he ever left me, I wouldn't even consider marriage to another non-believer. I couldn't knowingly put myself through this all over again.
I married an unbeliever and we are very happy 
Never has this changed for even one nano-second.
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