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  #1  
Unread 6th August 2008, 08:46 AM
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420, sex and the wife

This one is too much to keep inside and I need Christian opinion:

My wife & I have been married 12 years and we were having a lot of marital trouble in the bedroom. Sex became somewhat boring no matter what we tried and we've tried EVERYTHING. Counseling, candles, massages, resorts & getaways, little notes to "hook up with me" in her purse (lol), etc....
Now, sex when we met was great, but only due to the fact it was new and all that and over the years we've developed some fire that's kept it alive. We are both VERY attracted to each other so it's actually not a matter of anything other than sex became more of a routine even with the new stuff we added. Then we tried smoking 420 one night and pretty much had the most incredible sex we both agreed we ever had. After that, it was almost like every night we wanted to literally run home to each other so we could have hours and hours of sex because it was so mind-blowing. This was many months ago and I can tell you that we have since stopped smoking 420 we are both somewhat sad because we have not been able to achieve the orgasm or length of time spent having sex. It's back to square one again. The reason we quit was because we began to feel guilty about our relationship with God and how it's considered wrong to smoke pot. We don't know if we could call ourselves Christian AND smoke pot even though it completely enhanced our marriage and sex life in the evening and made us both feel closer to each other than ever before. This sucks because we love each other a lot but it was like having "super sex" to "regular ol' sex" made us not even be interested in it anymore. It's very "ho-hum" now. What to do? I'm not asking for justification for anyone smoking pot but it's a shame something like this is considered a sin because it did nothing but help my wife & I get closer. We pray together but this is different, it physically kept us closer if that makes any sense. I really Satan jacking up my relationship like this.
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  #2  
Unread 6th August 2008, 09:26 PM
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I guess I would have to ask myself is my marriage about the sex or about the love we have for each other through Jesus Christ?
Is it more important that I have sex, then to be together, can I enjoy my husband with out sex?

It sounds as if you are trying to chase the next best, awesome, super sex, as if that is all it is about.
And dope is just another additions that makes it even more about the sex.

But I know for me it needs to be about my love for my husband and the union we share through Jesus Christ. To expect it to be perfect or great all the time is a lot of expectation. Some times being intimate is about just being with each another and spending intimate time together.

1 Corinthians 6:12
(Avoiding Sexual Sin)
You say, "I am allowed to do anything"- but not everything is good for you. and even though "I am allowed to do anything," I must not become a slave to anything.

1 Peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to you wives. Treat you wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so you prayers will not be hindered.

Last edited by ww2pigeon; 6th August 2008 at 09:33 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 12th August 2008, 12:16 AM
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I can not "condone drug use". But I think I could get away with saying....ahhh well pm me if you want.
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Unread 17th August 2008, 09:20 PM
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Can you identify if the drugs made you freer with each other sexually, or was it just enhanced physical feelings?

John
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  #5  
Unread 18th August 2008, 08:13 PM
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I read some advice from a rabbi somewhere, he said to only have sex once a week. And I guess that's not a bad tip. If you eat chocolate every day, you will get tired of it.

Smoking weed for better sex will only be temporarily too, cause being high will be the new normal way to have sex.
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  #6  
Unread 18th August 2008, 08:37 PM
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I second that...take more time between sex...it's good you've stopped smoking...but your sex life will seem quite boring if you were having super sex...have you tried things that are sexually taboo to some christians? role playing...(dress up!)...dominating...blindfolds (not alone, while blindfolded, play with the other person's body...try tying them up too...mix domination with blindfolding and tying them up...could be fun...!)
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  #7  
Unread 20th August 2008, 06:59 PM
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Yeah there are sure a bit of things you could do to spice it up. Sadly though our male animal instincts are pushing for us to run off and find new mates. Sex, with the same person, gets boring after awhile. If you love her spice it up in the bedroom. If you don't...well then help yourself.
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Unread 25th September 2008, 11:43 PM
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I think Satan is pulling the wool over your eyes friend, he's giving you one of his false pleasures, don't build you're marriage on something that isn't solid and in the light.

Theres no easy answer or little pill you can take to solve problems. Hard work and dedication (and maybe a spot of luck once in awhile) will acually LAST.

Goodluck brother in God.
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  #9  
Unread 4th March 2009, 06:08 PM
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Usually a problem with sex in a marriage is a symptom of other problems in the marriage. You know something is wrong, but you're trying to fix the symptom rather than fixing the problem.

My suggestion for you would be for you and your wife to try a fast--from sex. Take a week (or two) and devote it to praying together during the times you would usually spend lovemaking. Dedicate the time to God and continue the 'fast' until He speaks to you both about what is going on in your marriage.

I have found that He has never failed to answer a question posed during a fast. Sometimes it takes a while for the answer to come, but have faith that it will.
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  #10  
Unread 8th March 2009, 04:28 PM
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posting that in this section of the christianforums only allows you to get one type of answer..

"drugs err bad mmmmmmkaye"

if you're looking for a more open minded answer you should post in a more open section

Last edited by Easyrider; 9th March 2009 at 10:45 AM. Reason: Staff Edit --Disruptive Behavior
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