What is marriage?

Sex before a marriage ceremony really a sin, or is it sex when you are not in love with the person. I see alot of people saying that sex before marriage is horrible, but what is true marriage?

Are you saying that because my fiance and i are waiting until after we are done college to get married by the church, that we shouldn't have made love. Even though we know that we love each other and we are engaged. In my opinion we are already "married" because of the fact that we are in love and bound spiritually to each other. Just because we havent had an official ceremony doesn't mean that the bond isnt there any more than praying by yourself doesn't count unless there is a holyman there.

I believe that marriage is a spiritual binding and a sharing of love. The ceremony is just the celebration of that marriage. Sometimes it isnt as smart to get married as soon as you love each other. My fiance and i would like a nice wedding but such ceremonies cost money which we dont have. We would like to get finacially stable before we undergo such a celebration. Now we didnt just one day decide to lose our virginities and just go at it on the couch. No, instead we planned it out months ahead of time, all the while allowing our love to blossom and grow. When we made love it was an expression of the love that we had for each other, not just for pleasure.

Obviously, as an atheist, I don't think premarital sex is a sin, because "sin" is defiance of God's will, and I perceive no gods to defy. That said, it sounds as though you and your fiance love and respect one another a great deal, and have both given a lot of thought to all the most important aspects of your relationship, and I can't see how anyone could reasonably find fault with that. I wish you and your beloved a long and happy life together.

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So many centuries
So many Gods
We were the prisoners
of our own fantasy
But then we had nothing---
Who'll lead our life?
No, no, we can't live without Gods

--Blind Guardian, "Valhalla"

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
--Robert A. Heinlein

Thank you.

what is true marriage?

leaving your father and mother and clinging only to your wife. No ceremony for the folks required.

But on the other hand Christians are to avoid even the appearence of evil. Do you introduce her as your wife? Probably not, so what appearence are you presenting?

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Then, we get into the matter of what constitutes sex. Some were saying that all forms of sex (manual, oral, etc.) should wait until marriage.

Ever seenThe 40 year Old Virgin?

Hi there,

Yes, having premarital sex is a sin. No you are not spiritually married, and yes it is wrong to have sex just because "You are in love with someone".

You asked "what is true marraige". True marriage has a spiritual aspect but also a legal aspect as well. Spiritually speaking, married people are viewed as one entity in the eyes of God, never to be broken apart. There is no way to be married, however, if you do not go through the legal process of wherever you live. It could be a courthouse marriage or a big church marriage, that really doesn't matter. Right now, by having sex and not being married, you are enjoying the benefits of marriage without commiting to it. Either of you could walk away at any moment and be completely allowed to do so, because you are not married.

I suspect that in your heart of hearts you already know this. Perhaps you are trying to justify your sin. That is completely understandable, but still wrong.

You said "Sex before a marriage ceremony really a sin, or is it sex when you are not in love with the person".. a married man could theoretically be in love with another woman and they could have sex....that would still be sin.

Also, you said "Sometimes it isnt as smart to get married as soon as you love each other." Ask yourself then...why would it be any smarter to have sex?

I do not doubt that you and your fiance love each other very much, but to have sex you need to go about it God's way. God never intended people who are not married to have sex. Read 1 Corinthians 7...focus on the verse that says "It is better to marry than to burn with passion". There is nothing holding you back from getting married. God loves marriage, and He will be glad you marry instead of continuing in sin.

I hope this helps
-Where

Personally, I don't think the "You could walk away at any time" reason means a thing, because you can walk away from a legal marriage at any time too. Or you can stay and have an affair just as easily. Legal stuff doesn't mean a darn thing.

I'm in the same boat as the OP. The only thing that's going to change when Trev and I legally marry is my last name and how we do our taxes. Soon as we're home from the ceremony it's business as usual.

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It is better to marry than to burn with passionThis basically means marry so that you can have sex. It is better to marry than to be very horny and lustful.

Also marriage hasnt always been legal or even had a ceremony so what of that. Technically marriage originally consisted of a man giving a woman a bond(ring) to show that she was now his property. There would sometimes be a celebration but not always.

And also mans laws are not God's laws. We arent trying to justify anything. And i introduce her as my fiance.

I'm an evil heathen, so I don't even think you have to be in love to justify having sex. So obviously I think your situation is perfectly acceptable and even commendable, jadebullet.

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I've never quite understood that. Because really, everyone knows one sure way NOT to have sex is to be married.

Kidding aside, here's wishing you are your fiancee a long and happy life together.

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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. --- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts