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View Poll Results: Would you tell a friend if their partner was cheating? | |
Yes
|     | 11 | 52.38% | |
No
|    | 10 | 47.62% |
 | | 
9th July 2008, 10:14 PM
|  | I close my eyes and see you smile
  
 | | Join Date: 11th April 2005
Posts: 54,731
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Reps: 2,082,200,567,380,925,952 (power: 2,082,200,567,380,989) | | | Ouch.
Yea, i would tell. [or help her discover it herself]
I would want someone to tell me. I mean if he gets some disease or something his spouse could get it and thats not cool.
Would i go to the cheater?
I dont think that would work.
I think it would be harder to confront the cheater than the one who is the victim. They have a tendency to keep you seperated from their wife if that were to happen, at all costs including lying.
I had a b/f once who was cheating on me.. and he turned ALL my friends against me by lying about me when i wasnt around. AND he did this so no one would tell me, and that he would gain their sympathy ...
Yea, he told them lies.
You wont salvage the friendship with either one [maybe] but you will at least get the truth out and that should be the priority.
And it taint gonna be easy... i can tell you now - it will end the friendship UNTIL the spouse finally discovers it for herself or they get help. [i know that i did this with my friend when i flat out busted the creep] who of course he lied to her and made me look bad anyway and she quit talking to me... but thanked me later. She was semi awake and looking for clues.
All in all, if you KNOW for a fact where he will be with the other - take your friend so she sees for herself.
That way you are not the messenger who will be shot.
OR take pics and leave them for her to see somehow at her house..
Sticky sticky.
Best wishes.
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Matthew Chapter 7 7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
Urgent
Pray for your departed loved ones ~ even if you do not believe in purgatory - what harm can come from praying for them?
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But I say, walk by the Spirit and you shall not fulfil the
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of the flesh. For the flesh
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against the
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, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other: that you may not do the things that you would. |
9th July 2008, 10:18 PM
|  | Thanks for the memories...
  
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Mojave Desert...I'm not kidding
Posts: 22,716
Blessings: 1,602,120
Reps: 91,760,945,028,274,960 (power: 91,760,945,028,308) | | | Oh, this isn't happening to me right now. My friend is having a rough patch in her marriage, but I don't think he's cheating. *She* thinks he might be. They still live in Georgia, so I wouldn't know even if he was.
I just had the thought, since I was talking to her about the whole thing.
__________________ Mommy of: Brittany Anne
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Corry Patrick
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9th July 2008, 10:24 PM
|  | Catholic... Faith, Hope and the greatest is LOVE
| | Join Date: 28th October 2004
Posts: 42,554
Blessings: 32,983,017 My Mood 
Reps: 323,223,920,099,010,368 (power: 323,223,920,099,061) | | | My first love cheated on me. We were engaged and he actually got another girl pregnant. We broke up and I told him to marry her because that was the right thing to do and it wasn't about my feelings or want nots... or about his... it was about an innocent baby's life that mattered.
Besides, I think he really loved the girl very much and I was the 3rd wheel at that time and that is okay. And no one had to tell me that he was cheating, I had that gut feeling. I caught them together with their clothes on, but I wasn't stupid and I knew it was over between him and me before he even got her pregnant. But I didn't break it off until he told me that she was pregnant and then I knew it was over.
The things of the heart can hurt sooo much... but somehow, through this kind of struggle, God is with us and he helps us through it. Praying for your friend. I still don't know what you should do, but I kinda think that eventually, they will figure things out and either they will mend their marriage or they will end it...
I also think that WA had a good idea about letting the victim see the cheater in action... sorta, kinda....
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Where Peter is, there is the Church. Where the Church is, there is eternal Life.
"The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society"- Mother Theresa
"But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion?
As always, we must persuade her with love, and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even his life to love us. So the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love - that is, to give until it hurts... her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems.
And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion". - Mother Theresa
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9th July 2008, 10:28 PM
|  | Nothing political is correct.
 
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Woods
Posts: 64,307
Blessings: 664,558,767 My Mood 
Reps: 1,574,738,335,962,253,824 (power: 1,574,738,335,962,329) | | If you don't think he's cheating what is there to tell? 
__________________ Your socks stink. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dir="ltr"> “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens |
9th July 2008, 10:29 PM
| | Thanks for the memories...
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Mojave Desert...I'm not kidding
Posts: 22,716
Blessings: 1,602,120
Reps: 91,760,945,028,274,960 (power: 91,760,945,028,308) | | Thanks everyone. 
Just want to be clear though, that although my friend's situation made me think of this, I am not having this particular dilemma at this time. She doesn't really know if he's cheating...I would bet a great deal of money that he hasn't cheated, at least physically. But she thinks he still carries a torch for an old girlfriend. Like I said it's a long story. Long and short of it is...they've been together for fourteen years...married for about half of that...and today she found a picture of said old girlfriend in his wallet. 
__________________ Mommy of: Brittany Anne
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Corry Patrick
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9th July 2008, 10:29 PM
| | Thanks for the memories...
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Mojave Desert...I'm not kidding
Posts: 22,716
Blessings: 1,602,120
Reps: 91,760,945,028,274,960 (power: 91,760,945,028,308) | | Originally Posted by Michie  If you don't think he's cheating what is there to tell?
It was a mostly hypothetical question. Because of my friend's fears.
__________________ Mommy of: Brittany Anne
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Corry Patrick
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Mallory Chayse
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9th July 2008, 10:32 PM
| | Nothing political is correct.
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Woods
Posts: 64,307
Blessings: 664,558,767 My Mood
Reps: 1,574,738,335,962,253,824 (power: 1,574,738,335,962,329) | | | Well it sounds like something they need to work out between them. She should talk to her hubby. Weird that an old girlfriend's pic is in his wallet.
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dir="ltr"> “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens |
9th July 2008, 10:32 PM
|  | Thinking is not a sin.
  
| | Join Date: 15th June 2008
Posts: 1,167
Blessings: 116,990 My Mood 
Reps: 17,553,218,130 (power: 17,553,224) | | | I would imagine that you would run the risk of both of them turning against you.
It's a tough one for sure. Very very very messy for sure. |
9th July 2008, 10:37 PM
| | Thanks for the memories...
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Mojave Desert...I'm not kidding
Posts: 22,716
Blessings: 1,602,120
Reps: 91,760,945,028,274,960 (power: 91,760,945,028,308) | | | *IF* I knew for sure that he was cheating...the one thing I could be very sure of is that Heidi would never turn against me for telling her. We are that close. I could tell her...knowing it would break both our hearts...and she would understand and still be my friend. I don't know that I could say that about any of my other friends.
Steven would likely be mad at me...but as he would likely be in the hospital recovering from the butt-whoopin' I'd have laid on him, it wouldn't concern me overmuch.
__________________ Mommy of: Brittany Anne
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Corry Patrick
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9th July 2008, 10:39 PM
| | Thanks for the memories...
| | Join Date: 5th February 2002 Location: Mojave Desert...I'm not kidding
Posts: 22,716
Blessings: 1,602,120
Reps: 91,760,945,028,274,960 (power: 91,760,945,028,308) | | Originally Posted by Michie Well it sounds like something they need to work out between them. She should talk to her hubby. Weird that an old friend's pic is in his wallet.
Tell me about it. Thing is...Heidi and I go so far back it's not funny. We're closer than family. She doesn't put up the privacy screens with me.
__________________ Mommy of: Brittany Anne
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Corry Patrick
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