A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to
get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns
to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
have
a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Another blonde joke
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, 'YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.'
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, 'OH, I'M SORRY.' AND GETS UP AND GOES
BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT
ANY FUSS.
'I TOLD HER,
'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO '
A very tall skyscraper is being built, and 3 men go off for their lunch break, an Irishman, a Mexican, and a blonde man. They sit down at the roof and open their lunch boxes. The Irishman finds corned beef.
He says, "Drat! Corned Beef again! If I get this for lunch tommorow, I'll jump off this building!"
The Mexican opens his lunchbox and finds a burrito. "Drat! Burritos again! If I get burritos for lunch tommorow, I'll jump off this building!"
The blonde opens his lunchbox and finds a ham and cheese sandwich."Drat! Ham and Cheese sandwiches again! If I get this tommorow, I'll jump off this bulding!"
The next day, during their lunch break, the Irishman opens up his lunch box and finds Corned Beef. In disgust, he jumps off the building and to his death. The Mexican opens his lunchbox, finds burritos, and in disgust, jumps off the building to his death. The blonde man, opens his lunchbox, finds a sandwich, and jumps off the building to his death.
A few days later, at a funeral, the Irish guy's wife weeps. "If I only know he hated corn beef! I could have made him something else!"
The Mexican guy's wife cries, "If I only knew he hated burritos! I could have made him something else!"
Now the 2 women stared at the blonde guy's wife. The wife says, "Don't look at me! He made his own lunches!"
Dolly Parton said, "Those dumb blonde jokes don't bother me, because in my heart, I know I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde." (A song called "Dumb Blonde" is what made her famous.)
When asked how long it takes to do her hair, she replied, "I don't know. I'm never there."
(A song called "Dumb Blonde" is what made her famous.)
Hope this video helps.
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