Anyone suffer from this and have healed?

Lady Bug · #1 30th June 2008, 09:33 PM

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'll give it a try.

For the past two or three weeks, I have felt this strange "tidal" wave wash over me in a very bad way.

I feel severely clingy to way too many things lately. The first is people. When certain people I correspond with are not around, I feel as if I'm having a mental nervous breakdown. I feel practically possessive (don't get scared

) of the friendship, even though I refrain myself from acting possessive. I've never felt this bad when I can't talk to some people. It's as if I'm obsessed. I don't want to freak anyone out or scare anyone here, but I get way too emotionally attached to some people and it possesses me sometimes. I do try to divert my attention away from this by focusing on God's Word, reading his Word, looking for new prayers, just having some quiet time with Him. But something feels very deeply wrong here.

I also am involved in emotional eating and feel as if I can't survive if I don't eat a lot of food to comfort myself. I also am feeling obsessed with listening to music that helps me feel good, to the point where I feel like I'm going insane if I don't listen to music. There's always a battle between worldly things and heavenly things but this is really something else.

I am too convinced that prayer is not going to help me that I feel irresolute these days to try it. This is where you will say that I am doing nothing but destroying myself and here you would be right. It's just that I have tried reading Scripture to calm me down when I feel extremely nervous and it doesn't necessarily help me calm down unless I'm already not that nervous to begin with when beginning to read the Scriptures.

Anyone going through this and have healed themselves out of this type of situation? There are way too many times where I just want to give up because I feel like there will always be cases where something is triggered and I go through a relapse. There are times where I wish I could try out alcohol to numb this pain of bottomless emptiness. I don't think I'll try alcohol but now I see why people turn to it.

HisW0rd · #2 2nd July 2008, 02:25 AM

Originally Posted by ladybug1980

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'll give it a try.

For the past two or three weeks, I have felt this strange "tidal" wave wash over me in a very bad way.

I feel severely clingy to way too many things lately. The first is people. When certain people I correspond with are not around, I feel as if I'm having a mental nervous breakdown. I feel practically possessive (don't get scared) of the friendship, even though I refrain myself from acting possessive. I've never felt this bad when I can't talk to some people. It's as if I'm obsessed. I don't want to freak anyone out or scare anyone here, but I get way too emotionally attached to some people and it possesses me sometimes. I do try to divert my attention away from this by focusing on God's Word, reading his Word, looking for new prayers, just having some quiet time with Him. But something feels very deeply wrong here.

I also am involved in emotional eating and feel as if I can't survive if I don't eat a lot of food to comfort myself. I also am feeling obsessed with listening to music that helps me feel good, to the point where I feel like I'm going insane if I don't listen to music. There's always a battle between worldly things and heavenly things but this is really something else.

I am too convinced that prayer is not going to help me that I feel irresolute these days to try it. This is where you will say that I am doing nothing but destroying myself and here you would be right. It's just that I have tried reading Scripture to calm me down when I feel extremely nervous and it doesn't necessarily help me calm down unless I'm already not that nervous to begin with when beginning to read the Scriptures.

Anyone going through this and have healed themselves out of this type of situation? There are way too many times where I just want to give up because I feel like there will always be cases where something is triggered and I go through a relapse. There are times where I wish I could try out alcohol to numb this pain of bottomless emptiness. I don't think I'll try alcohol but now I see why people turn to it.

I went through something similar. I figured out the reason I went through this mental, physical, emotional, and physical attack was because of fear. This can be tricky because you need to dig deep into your heart and find out why you are reacting this way. Apply the blood of Jesus Christ over yourself. Imagine His healing virtue pouring out over your head down to the soles of your feet. The enemy is a liar but he is triggering something inside you. It could be anything, like fear...

MoNiCa4316 · #3 6th July 2008, 05:48 PM

Ladybug,

I think when we're upset, we all look for ways to feel better... and sometimes we get attached to a particular "way", for example - friends (I've been there..), or music, or movies, or food. And when we can't get that, we freak out - because we don't know how to emotionally deal with the situation otherwise. Fear is definitely a big part of it.
Is this maybe what you were trying to say?

Sometimes I find that God takes away things I'm attached to, when I seem to need them most. For example, for a long time I'd go to music when I felt upset or worried. And then my iPod broke, lol. So I had no music anymore, and was forced to look for other ways. I think God would keep on doing this to us until we find rest in Him. Until then, as St. Augustine says, our hearts would be restless. He leads us into the desert, takes away all our "idols" and then "speaks tenderly" to us.. we just have to get to the point when we can respond. It might take some time. It's also pretty painful. But sooner or later the pain goes away, and we find real lasting peace in God.. and then we don't have these "attachments" anymore.

You said that you don't feel like prayer would help you, but maybe that is exactly what you now need

you might not FEEL anything after the prayer. It might be difficult, dry, and you might not notice a change right away. But - I think when we pray with absolutely NO consolation at all, then it's just our will working - we pray and trust God, even though He seems to have vanished from the universe. With such souls the devil can do very little. They are not reliant on feelings, but on faith in things unseen. And sooner or later, you'll start hearing God's voice...you will then receive great consolation in prayer.

about Scripture...I find what it does is it renews the mind, so your thinking patterns change. The more I read God's Word, the more I focus on spiritual things and learn to have an eternal perspective...and this helps a lot in dealing with everyday problems. It puts them into perspective, and they don't stress you out as much anymore. A similar thing happens when I read books by the Saints.

hope that helps a little sis..

God bless

monica

Christsdaughter · #4 16th July 2008, 07:59 AM

This is all such good advice! I couldn't agree more with what the others have said. I have struggled with what you are struggling with my entire life. The root of my problem is fear of rejection, so HisWord is right. I was always a fearful person in general and still struggle with it at times, but not as much. Finally, God brought me to the point where I realized that my possessiveness of relationships and my desires to find satisfaction in them were futile and meaningless. He made me realize that all that I ever needed was him. Remember Job? If not, I encourage you to try reading it sometime. The point of Job is to show us that when all is stripped away, God is all that you ever needed to begin with. The best way to deal with the suffering is to remember that God is all we will ever need. He is the only one who can bring us satisfaction. Another good book to read is Ecclesiastes. I just recently read Ecclesiastes 2. Solomon made it an experiment to search out the meaning of life through. He first tried seeking worldly pleasure and found that it was all meaningless. He discovered that even if you have it all (and he did), it is meaningless and does not bring pleasure apart from God. God is the only one who can fill the hole (via his Holy Spirit). God built in us a restless yearning for the kind of perfect world that can only be found in his perfect rule. If you think about it, what a brillant plan...to make us where we are constantly searching for the love, comfort, wisdom, satisfaction, joy, etc that can only be found in him so that when we find it in him, he gets all the glory. He does this to show us that he is the provider of all things and that we were created to serve him, love him, and be loved by him. That is how I found out! I searched my entire life for the meaning of life and for something to feel that longing and couldn't find it in anything in this world. Only in him was it found! He is awesome!

I hope this was encouraging to you!

Christsdaughter · #5 16th July 2008, 08:03 AM

Ecclesiastes 2

Pleasures Are Meaningless

1I thought in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. 2“Laughter,” I said, “is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?” 3I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.

4I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem£ as well—the delights of the heart of man. 9I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

10I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;

I refused my heart no pleasure.

My heart took delight in all my work,

and this was the reward for all my labor.

11Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done

and what I had toiled to achieve,

everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;

nothing was gained under the sun.

Wisdom and Folly Are Meaningless

12Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,

and also madness and folly.

What more can the king’s successor do

than what has already been done?

13I saw that wisdom is better than folly,

just as light is better than darkness.

14The wise man has eyes in his head,

while the fool walks in the darkness;

but I came to realize

that the same fate overtakes them both.

15Then I thought in my heart,

“The fate of the fool will overtake me also.

What then do I gain by being wise?”

I said in my heart,

“This too is meaningless.”

16For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;

in days to come both will be forgotten.

Like the fool, the wise man too must die!

Toil Is Meaningless

17So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 19And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 20So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

24A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

find faith here · #6 22nd July 2008, 10:34 PM

I am praying for you and going through something similar. Please pray for me as this really does hurt.