Hey I am a guy and I have this lady friend who seems to be kinda down. What should I say or do to encourage her or cheer her up? What do you like to hear when you are feeling kinda down?
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The fact that you just even care that she's having a bad day is cool...let her know that- and tell her if there's anything you can do, to let you know.
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__________________ The start is not nearly as important as the finish.
"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain
Offer to listen to her. Maybe go out for coffee.
DO NOT do the "guy" thing of trying to fix it for her.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Hah! I'm so bad with that! I goes against my nature to not try and fix things but most of the time, I manage to keep my mouth shut and lend an ear instead.
Listen to her concerns without trying to fix them for her. There's a verse in Romans that says "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Mourn with her. Really sympathize with her. Sometimes with the best intentions, we say things that can negate a hurting person's feelings: "Oh, well...it must not have been God's will." "I can't believe that jerk did that to you! The next time I see him, I'll..." "You can't stay sad forever...you need to move on."
When all along (at least at the beginning of a hurt), we just need someone to assure us that they know our pain is real and that they're willing to be there as a support.
A good response might be "I'm so sorry that you're hurting like this. I know that you're disappointed that this didn't turn out the way you thought it would. I'm here to listen to you and be a support for you if you need me."
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." -author unknown
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Why do I never get comfort from people when I have a bad day?
If it were me, I'd be happy with a friendly pat on the back and "Hey, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here." But people around here keep mostly to themselves as I'm sure they do in a lot places. Just being a friendly face, a shoulder, and an ear is all it takes to cheer a person up sometimes.
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