| Singles (only*) A forum for the support of single members or Christians with the gift of celibacy. Forum restricted to members 18 and older.
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29th June 2004, 11:50 PM
| | Newbie 26  | | Join Date: 23rd June 2004
Posts: 5
Blessings: 91,761
Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | | Ladies, what do you like to hear? Hey I am a guy and I have this lady friend who seems to be kinda down. What should I say or do to encourage her or cheer her up? What do you like to hear when you are feeling kinda down? | 
29th June 2004, 11:53 PM
|  | Brown Eyed girl 32 
| | Join Date: 26th September 2003 Location: in the South
Posts: 23,974
Blessings: 192,877,630
Reps: 1,079,116,109,550,001,664 (power: 1,079,116,109,550,033) | | | what is she upset about?
__________________ "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one."
The start is not nearly as important as the finish.
"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain
If you were coming in the fall I'd brush the summer by...Emily Dickinson | 
30th June 2004, 12:08 AM
|  | Living Stone 28  | | Join Date: 23rd November 2003 Location: Sunny California
Posts: 1,149
Blessings: 91,242
Reps: 2,615 (power: 12) | | The fact that you just even care that she's having a bad day is cool...let her know that- and tell her if there's anything you can do, to let you know.
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09:41 AM - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. : once I got this bead stuck in my nose 02:23 PM - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. : rule # 213: the hair is sacred, do not touch, lest you die... | 
30th June 2004, 12:12 AM
|  | Brown Eyed girl 32 
| | Join Date: 26th September 2003 Location: in the South
Posts: 23,974
Blessings: 192,877,630
Reps: 1,079,116,109,550,001,664 (power: 1,079,116,109,550,033) | | | suprize her with something nice, like chocolate.
__________________ "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one."
The start is not nearly as important as the finish.
"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain
If you were coming in the fall I'd brush the summer by...Emily Dickinson | 
30th June 2004, 12:24 AM
| | aka water
 | | Join Date: 1st June 2004
Posts: 721
Blessings: 93,371
Reps: 297 (power: 0) | | | I'm bringing out my handy notebook and a #2 pencil. | 
30th June 2004, 06:08 AM
|  | Legend
 | | Join Date: 14th May 2004
Posts: 17,411
Blessings: 117,394
Reps: 109,837 (power: 134) | | | Offer to listen to her. Maybe go out for coffee.
DO NOT do the "guy" thing of trying to fix it for her.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN | 
30th June 2004, 06:28 AM
| | Junior Member 26  | | Join Date: 26th June 2004 Location: tx
Posts: 17
Blessings: 91,192
Reps: 18 (power: 0) | | Laughter is the answer.When i am feeling down i like hang out with someone who can make me laugh and tell good jokes,and compliments are always a plus | 
30th June 2004, 06:31 AM
|  | Titles make me queasy 27 
| | Join Date: 29th May 2004 Location: Alaska
Posts: 390
Blessings: 91,750
Reps: 162 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by caitlincares Offer to listen to her. Maybe go out for coffee.
DO NOT do the "guy" thing of trying to fix it for her.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Hah! I'm so bad with that! I goes against my nature to not try and fix things but most of the time, I manage to keep my mouth shut and lend an ear instead. | 
30th June 2004, 12:27 PM
|  | My cup runneth over 33 
| | Join Date: 15th June 2002 Location: in your face!
Posts: 11,035
Blessings: 140,812 My Mood
Reps: 1,238,324 (power: 1,259) | | | Listen to her concerns without trying to fix them for her. There's a verse in Romans that says "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Mourn with her. Really sympathize with her. Sometimes with the best intentions, we say things that can negate a hurting person's feelings: "Oh, well...it must not have been God's will." "I can't believe that jerk did that to you! The next time I see him, I'll..." "You can't stay sad forever...you need to move on."
When all along (at least at the beginning of a hurt), we just need someone to assure us that they know our pain is real and that they're willing to be there as a support.
A good response might be "I'm so sorry that you're hurting like this. I know that you're disappointed that this didn't turn out the way you thought it would. I'm here to listen to you and be a support for you if you need me."
__________________ I now have handmade items listed in my Etsy store. PM me if you want to take a look!
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." -author unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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30th June 2004, 01:13 PM
|  | Senior Member 30 
| | Join Date: 11th May 2004 Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 869
Blessings: 101,751
Reps: 1,052 (power: 9) | | | Why do I never get comfort from people when I have a bad day?
If it were me, I'd be happy with a friendly pat on the back and "Hey, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here." But people around here keep mostly to themselves as I'm sure they do in a lot places. Just being a friendly face, a shoulder, and an ear is all it takes to cheer a person up sometimes.
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