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In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared,
"Case Dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah..yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!' The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own athei sts' holiday!'
The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!
Way to go, Judge!
AMEN
So... you have a fictional anecdote. Is that supposed to be some sort of persuasive argument?
Oh, and Easter? As in, the pagan spring fertility festival? Surely you jest?
Carey
I am heartily amused each Easter when every Christian venerates the Babylonian goddess of fertility Ishtar with offerings of eggs and rabbits, symbols of fertility. Easter is an ancient festival, involving the death and resurrection of the husband or lover of the Great Earth Mother goddess. It has nothing to do with Christ. I assume it was appropriated at some point by Christians to "Borgify"* Eurasia.
Oh and here's a nutcase Christian who backs me up. Whether it's true or not, who cares? His lavish use of capitals impressed me!
We are the Christians, your holidays will be assimilated. Resistance if futile.
__________________ When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground.
And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe or laugh or twitch again.
So won't you run and play with me here among the
teeming mass of humanity?
The universe has spared us this moment.
You do realize that technically this could be considred a flame right?
Originally Posted by Carey
In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared,
"Case Dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah..yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!' The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own athei sts' holiday!'
The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!
Way to go, Judge!
AMEN
__________________ Revelations 22:4 they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads.
Carey
I am heartily amused each Easter when every Christian venerates the Babylonian goddess of fertility Ishtar with offerings of eggs and rabbits, symbols of fertility. Easter is an ancient festival, involving the death and resurrection of the husband or lover of the Great Earth Mother goddess. It has nothing to do with Christ. I assume it was appropriated at some point by Christians to "Borgify"* Eurasia.
Oh and here's a nutcase Christian who backs me up. Whether it's true or not, who cares? His lavish use of capitals impressed me!
I am amused at Christians who unknowingly celebrate pagan holi-days thinking they are Christian too.
Most are'nt even aware the term Holiday is a twist on Holy Day
__________________ 2 Timothy 2 : 23Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
Oh who really cares... get together with your family... eat some good food... laugh a little, pray if that's your thing.
I'm just so tired of all this ownership nonsense. What?!? I'm supposed to sit home alone on Christmas if I'm not Christian? Does anyone prevent me from taking another day off if I have a holiday of equal importance? Don't you realize holidays aren't about what the day is but rather who you're with? You wanna put the "Christ" in Christmas? Ok... I'm gonna put the "Mom" in Christmas. I'm gonna worry about the kids. The rest of you quit telling me I have to celebrate a certain way because that day is YOUR day... it's not.
__________________ "The religious factions will go on imposing their will on others, unless the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no place in public policy. They must learn to make their views known without trying to make their views the only alternatives. ..." - Barry Goldwater
This one is not a 'gotcha' joke, though. Please insert appropriate accents.
The Isle of Lewis is renowned for the rigorous religiousity of its native inhabitants. A Fellow from the mainland decided to vacation there due to its peacefulness and beauty. On Sunday morning, he attended church, then returned to his lodgings. Wanting to be respectful of the inhabitants no working on Sunday customs, he refrained from his usual vacation pursuits, but becoming restless in the afternoon thought "Surely it would be all right to go for a little stroll along the shore".
So off he went, had a lovely excursion, but on his returned he noticed that the small groups of village elders he met were regarding him with great disapproval. At last, one confronted him, frowning "Walking about for pleasure on the Sabbath, sir? For shame!"
"But surely" the visitor protested, "Our Lord Himself walked about on the Sabbath Day!"
"Aye" replied the elder, frowning even more fiercely "But he wouldnae hae done it in Lewis!"
Oh who really cares... get together with your family... eat some good food... laugh a little, pray if that's your thing.
I'm just so tired of all this ownership nonsense. What?!? I'm supposed to sit home alone on Christmas if I'm not Christian? Does anyone prevent me from taking another day off if I have a holiday of equal importance? Don't you realize holidays aren't about what the day is but rather who you're with? You wanna put the "Christ" in Christmas? Ok... I'm gonna put the "Mom" in Christmas. I'm gonna worry about the kids. The rest of you quit telling me I have to celebrate a certain way because that day is YOUR day... it's not.
__________________ 2 Timothy 2 : 23Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared,
"Case Dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah..yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!' The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own athei sts' holiday!'
The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!
Way to go, Judge!
AMEN
You do know that this is a work of fiction, and a bad one at that don't you?
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