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  #1  
Unread 25th May 2004, 12:00 AM
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Dating before divorce

Is there a moral or Biblical reason why you shouldn't date after you are seperated but before a divorce is final? No, there is no chance of reconciliation.
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  #2  
Unread 25th May 2004, 10:53 AM
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Techinally you are still married. Therefore no dating until the separation is finalized.
  #3  
Unread 25th May 2004, 11:18 AM
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I'm not sure about biblical reasons but the person may be rebounding (even if they were the one to initiate the divorce) and for that reason, dating during or right after the divorce may not be such a good idea.
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Unread 25th May 2004, 11:26 AM
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I disagree, kspchemist. Some divorce cases drag on for months, even years at times especially if there is a discrepency as to division of assets, property, and child custody. You can't expect someone to never date at all in that extensive period of time. Of course, then again, there are many Christians who would tell you, KelliP that anything but spending the rest of your life in total celibacy would be sinful, if you're divorcing for any reason other than marital infidelity. Obviously I disagree with that stance.

If there are children involved in this divorce settlement, proceed with caution. I would try my best to refrain from any deep intimate contact with someone, just in case the estranged spouse is monitoring your actions. I'm not trying to frighten you, but an estranged spouse can use sexual relations with someone before the divorce is final as a way to try and claim primary custody. Just be careful in that respect. And please, don't feel I am implying that you are planning on having sex with someone or that your estranged husband is going to hire some detective to record your every move. I'm just letting you know what my lawyer told me when I got divorced.

If you have met someone then I think that's great. Just make sure you move slowly and cautiously, especially if this separation from your husband is recent. Don't let someone be the rebound relationship. But hey, if you've met someone and you like each other and you click well I say go for it. Just be sure he knows your divorce is not yet final. It wouldn't be fair to conceal that. Tread lightly, but enjoy yourself.
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Unread 25th May 2004, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by kspchemist
Techinally you are still married. Therefore no dating until the separation is finalized.
Yes, I've heard this from other people but it doesn't answer my question, sorry.
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Unread 25th May 2004, 08:51 PM
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It has been almost a year and believe me he doesn't have a leg to stand on. We have no children and he is not contesting it, at least not anymore. And I don't care any longer about property. I have everything I need and I just want to move on.
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Unread 25th May 2004, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by KelliP72
Is there a moral or Biblical reason why you shouldn't date after you are seperated but before a divorce is final? No, there is no chance of reconciliation.
I have to say that until your divorce agreements are signed and official that you are still considered married. You may not be considered married in your head/heart, but by law you are, therefore dating before being officially divorced I would think wouldn't be advisable.
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Unread 25th May 2004, 09:04 PM
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I know, I have heard that from a few people including a close friend. But why? Does it really matter whether its 'official' or not? Its not really a big deal anyway. I'm not dating anyone right now but there is a guy I work with who is really nice, and single and I could see myself in a relationship with him. Anyway my divorce will be final within a few months so its not really a problem.
  #9  
Unread 25th May 2004, 09:31 PM
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Originally Posted by KelliP72
I know, I have heard that from a few people including a close friend. But why? Does it really matter whether its 'official' or not? Its not really a big deal anyway. I'm not dating anyone right now but there is a guy I work with who is really nice, and single and I could see myself in a relationship with him. Anyway my divorce will be final within a few months so its not really a problem.
You might want to think of the practical issues, like how is the person you're dating going to react to the knowledge that you are technically still married. Some people won't have an issue with it, some will. I would see it as a technicality myself, but the person that I might ask for a date might see it differently.
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  #10  
Unread 26th May 2004, 02:30 AM
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Originally Posted by KelliP72
Is there a moral or Biblical reason why you shouldn't date after you are seperated but before a divorce is final? No, there is no chance of reconciliation.
I find it interesting that a christian woman is talking about dating before or after a divorce, given Jesus' teachings on divorce.
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