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Poetry & Prose A new forum for the posting of member's poetry, poems and prose.

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  #1  
Unread 28th February 2002, 10:20 AM
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My niece died.. a poem about her:

My niece died on Thanksgiving day. I wrote a poem about her to give to her mom (my sister). Before I give it to her, I would really like you comments/critisicm. Thanks a lot! --Kenzie

Janai

An angel gone to glory
Saved by God's amazing grace
How sorely she is missed

Trapped inside her dying body
She was waiting for her time
Every day, she grasped life
with such strength

We desperately held onto her
Held her back for a while
But the Lord giveth and taketh away

Now the Lord has come for her
She can run, play, laugh
With wings like a butterfly

An angel gone to glory
Saved by God's amazing grace
How sorely she is missed.



Thanks!
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  #2  
Unread 28th February 2002, 10:23 AM
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Cool, but sorry about your grandmom I'm glad that she's up there in heaven now!

God bless ya's
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  #3  
Unread 28th February 2002, 10:27 AM
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It's not my grandma, it's my niece. She was eleven.
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Hey, ppls give me a shout! I'd love to hear from ya! <>< Kenzie
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  #4  
Unread 28th February 2002, 12:14 PM
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You have quite a moving talent for poetry. It is good that you have discovered that the best poetry does not rhyme but has rythm in its meaning. It is very nice in its flow, and could be expanded on, but some things are better left short and to the point. Good poem!

FOMWatts<><
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  #5  
Unread 28th February 2002, 02:55 PM
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WOW....I loved it....I also think short is best at times like these....you can never go wrong when it comes from the heart.....with much love and respect....mama
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  #6  
Unread 28th February 2002, 07:54 PM
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Thank you so much for the feedback. I had a really hard time writing this and found I was unable to evaluate myself because I couldn't concentrate. Thanks again! Lovin y'all in Jesus! -Kenzie
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Unread 28th February 2002, 11:11 PM
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I had moved this thread to the creative writing centre as it is more appriorate here.
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Unread 15th June 2005, 02:25 PM
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wow, thats really good your good at writing poetry. Im sorry about your neice at least she is sitting with Jesus in Heven now!
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