Hi there folks! How are you all doing? I wanted to start a club for all of those out there who think that they may be the Avoidant type. There is even a fun survay that I created about this. Also, I did some research on this topic and found that I was totally like this. If you wanna know if you may be like this please take the time to read what an Avoidant person is like:
Characteristics of the Avoidant Personality Style:
Comfortable with habit, repetition, and routine
Prefer the known to the unknown
Close allegiance to family and/or a few close friends; tend to be homebodies
Sensitive and concerned about what others think of them. Tend to be self-conscious and worriers
Very discreet and deliberate in dealing with others
Tend to maintain a reserved, self-restrained demeanor around others
Tend to be curious and can focus considerable attention on hobbies and avocations; however, a few engage in counterphobic coping behaviors
I hope that you find this club to be as enjoyable and helpful as I hope and pray it will be. It will be a great chance to make friends as well!
Take care and God bless ya! Here is the FUN survey:
Avoidant Survey:
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? For all of my life I guess Who in your family, is an avoidant? Mother How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 1 she just recently left CF though How many PM's do you receive a day? 0 How many emails do you receive a day or week? About 4 a week ON A GOOD WEEK How many online friends have burned you? WAY too many to count How many offline friends do you have? 2 How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 1 she is like 20 years older than I too How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 1 roommate/best friend How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? real friends 1 What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? the outcast clique i guess Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? oh yeah, they were the best What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? back then my stuffed animals now it would be my one closets friend What do you avoid the most? getting hurt Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them why, cause they find me BORING cause I do NOT DATE!!!!!!!! Okay all, if you can think of some more NON-PERSONAL questions PLEASE post them!
__________________
His flower in His garden.
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Last edited by aflower4God; 22nd July 2007 at 10:53 PM.
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? All my life Who in your family, is an avoidant? Mom How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 1 it may be going way up with me spending so much time on the Conservative Christian board. How many PM's do you receive a day? average about 2 a day it's usually from the same person before I started pming with her I would a month or longer and get nothing How many emails do you receive a day or week? Disregarding job searching related e-mails and spam 0. How many online friends have burned you? None I very rarely establish relationships close enough to qualify as a friend. How many offline friends do you have? None the only one I had move to New Jersey to take a job. How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 4 It's 2 couples from my sunday school class there all roughly 20 years older than me.
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 0
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 0
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? None the loners wouldn't even eat lunch with me. Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? No, not at all What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Niether What do you avoid the most? getting hurt Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them since I don't have any now or have had any for close 2 years
Last edited by CyberPaladin; 23rd July 2007 at 03:46 AM.
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? All my life Who in your family, is an avoidant? Mom How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 1 it may be going way up with me spending so much time on the Conservative Christian board. How many PM's do you receive a day? average about 2 a day it's usually from the same person before I started pming with her I would a month or longer and get nothing How many emails do you receive a day or week? Disregarding job searching related e-mails and spam 0. How many online friends have burned you? None I very rarely establish relationships close enough to qualify as a friend. How many offline friends do you have? None the only one I had move to New Jersey to take a job. How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 4 It's 2 couples from my sunday school class there all roughly 20 years older than me.
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 0
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 0
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? None the loners wouldn't even eat lunch with me. Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? No, not at all What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Niether What do you avoid the most? getting hurt Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them since I don't have any now or have had any for close 2 years
Answers.....
1....Only in the last couple of years really, I didn't realise I was sick till diagnosed with depression 10 yrs ago.
2....My sister is definately avoidant.
3.....I don't chat with anyone on line.
4.....Had some a couple of weeks ago from one person...but that was just a short....hi how are you type thing...I dont really get any pms.
5.....I get email jokes from people who are mutual friends of my husband and I, and sometimes get emails from my kids, but they tend to phone me.
6.....I have been "disappointed" in a couple of people on line, but not really...burned.
7...I have about 6 friends, but I only contact people about once a month at most.....I'm not very sociable really. The people I know are really wives of my husbands friends.
8....I have quite a lot of aquaintance friends...my husband is into model boat sailing, and is in several clubs, so I know his friends from there. Also a group from a church social group for those with mental illness.
9.....Close friends...my 2 adult kids, mum and dad, husband, and a couple of girlfriends....about 3 or 4 couples.
10...Friends in high school....about 2..
11....Wasn't really in a clique at school.
12.....I had a wonderful teddy bear named, Peter Edward...he heard lots of secrets and dried lots of tears.
13...When I was a kid...my teddy....now, my beloved husband and my pets.
14.....Mostly I avoid arguements ..... but I'll fight like the devil if I have to...verbally I mean.
15...I used to be a people pleaser and felt I needed friends, now I'm a homebody and the thought of having friends is fine, but when it boils down to it.....I like my own company and my pets and my husband, and don't really like to visit people, or have them visit my home. Im ok meeting people outside the home, a restaurant or something....but my home is my castle, and I like to keep it private.
__________________ Man can guess how many seeds there are in an apple.......but only God knows how many apples will grow from one apple seed.
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? since grade 7
Who in your family, is an avoidant? none
How many online friends do you have that your regularly chat with? none
How many PM's do you receive a day? 1 or 2
How many emails do you receive a day or week? i got lots of emails from groups
How many online friends have burned you? lots and lots of them
How many offline friends do you have? couples
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 3 or 4
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 0
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? only friends: 4 or 5. no best friends
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? none.
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? sometimes
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? none
What do you avoid the most? talking infront of other people
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them
Originally Posted by wmc1982
Avoidant Survey:
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? 9th grade maybe?
Who in your family, is an avoidant? one uncle
How many online friends do you have that your regularly chat with? none
How many PM's do you receive a day? maybe 1 a week
How many emails do you receive a day or week? a lot of spam mostly, a few a week from family
How many online friends have burned you? none
How many offline friends do you have? a good few, but all are now distant
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? see above
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? none anymore
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? a few close friends, maybe another 5 acquaintances
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? most all of them at points in time
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? no
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? I guess the distant friends, I have never had a relationship with a stuffed animal.
What do you avoid the most? conflict, confrontation
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them
Originally Posted by BelindaP
May I join? I don't have Avoidant, but my husband does.
Yes you most certainly welcome here!
Originally Posted by GrannieAnnie
Answers.....
1....Only in the last couple of years really, I didn't realise I was sick till diagnosed with depression 10 yrs ago.
2....My sister is definately avoidant.
3.....I don't chat with anyone on line.
4.....Had some a couple of weeks ago from one person...but that was just a short....hi how are you type thing...I dont really get any pms.
5.....I get email jokes from people who are mutual friends of my husband and I, and sometimes get emails from my kids, but they tend to phone me.
6.....I have been "disappointed" in a couple of people on line, but not really...burned.
7...I have about 6 friends, but I only contact people about once a month at most.....I'm not very sociable really. The people I know are really wives of my husbands friends.
8....I have quite a lot of aquaintance friends...my husband is into model boat sailing, and is in several clubs, so I know his friends from there. Also a group from a church social group for those with mental illness.
9.....Close friends...my 2 adult kids, mum and dad, husband, and a couple of girlfriends....about 3 or 4 couples.
10...Friends in high school....about 2..
11....Wasn't really in a clique at school.
12.....I had a wonderful teddy bear named, Peter Edward...he heard lots of secrets and dried lots of tears.
13...When I was a kid...my teddy....now, my beloved husband and my pets.
14.....Mostly I avoid arguements ..... but I'll fight like the devil if I have to...verbally I mean.
15...I used to be a people pleaser and felt I needed friends, now I'm a homebody and the thought of having friends is fine, but when it boils down to it.....I like my own company and my pets and my husband, and don't really like to visit people, or have them visit my home. Im ok meeting people outside the home, a restaurant or something....but my home is my castle, and I like to keep it private.
Wow so many responses!!! Welcome crew! Now we can help each other along with this trait of ours! I am so very glad that I met you all and look forward to knowing you more! God bless you all!!!!
ALL are welcome here adn I am glad that you took the time to join!!! Thank you and it means so much to me!!!!
__________________
His flower in His garden.
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How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? I've never been mister social, but it really "got worse" in high school. Who in your family, is an avoidant? No one really. How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? Around 4 or so. How many PM's do you receive a day? 1-2. How many emails do you receive a day or week? 1-7 How many online friends have burned you? None really. How many offline friends do you have? 2. How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 2. How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? None really, or maybe my definition of very close is too strict! How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Around 10. What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? Not really any particular clique. Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Don't really remember. What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends. What do you avoid the most? Too much to list here. Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Hard to lose when you don't really make friends. Okay all, if you can think of some more NON-PERSONAL questions PLEASE post them!
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
Since 6th grade, probably...
Who in your family, is an avoidant? Um...I dunno that there are any... =\
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? About 3 or 4.
How many PM's do you receive a day? 1 or 2
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Less than 2.
How many online friends have burned you? 3 or so.
How many offline friends do you have? 2 close ones.
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Like.....5 or 6? ... I got along with most of the people at the Christian school I used to attend...they were all very nice.
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? Outside family - 3 : boyfriend, best girl friend, best guy friend.
Then my mom...
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? I'm still in high school, but...
Elementary school: 2 or 3
Middle school: 4 maybe
High school: 3 or 4
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? I've kinda always been outside the cliques....
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yea, until I got a little older. I still sleep with my bunny.
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends.
What do you avoid the most? Confrontation...
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose, apparently. I take a long time to make friends..
The Avoidant Personality Club 
How are you all doing? 
Here is the FUN survey:
I take a long time to make friends.. 
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