Location: Smelling the flowers in an unknown garden out in the middle of the Mid-Atlantic Trench.
Posts: 1,967
Blessings: 39,874
Reps: 20,542 (power: 27)
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since about 6th grade. I blame Elementary School. Who in your family, is an avoidant? My Brother, I guess. How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? Regularly? Just one, I guess.How many PM's do you receive a day? Used to be one a day, but now I'm lucky to get any. How many emails do you receive a day or week? Junk mail, mostly. Maybe one a week, average. How many online friends have burned you? Not too many. But, I guess that depends on how you define "burn."How many offline friends do you have? 5 from school and some adults from church How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Well, several, but it's nothing more than a smile in the hall. How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? MAYBE 2 or 3 How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Well, I'm still in High School... same as last question. What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? Nerds. Ya know, D&D, Star Wars, that sorta stuff. Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? I wasn't that imaginative. What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? My friends. I've lost all the stuffed animals that I never talked to. What do you avoid the most? Annoying other people, but that's hard to do. Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose 'em. I annoy people that are just coming in, and that scares 'em off. I don't mean to. And I'm too shy to make new friends off the get-go.
__________________ This space isn't as important as the thread it's been posted in. Why are you reading me? Do you want to learn something about the mind of this "equal-minded" chap? Don't ask him, he doesn't even know himself! Like, this one time, he had three different personalities going on inside of him: a truck driver, a hippy, and a conservative banker. All three drove him nuts. Then they left one day, and he was none the wiser... Hey! You're still reading! Hurry up and post something! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
It's too painful to answer the questions on the survey. I do not have a friend on this earth. I am not able to make or keep friends. I wish I didn't have to be around people. It's an embarrassment, just living, just being in public.
I've been hurt and I will never open myself or share what is in my heart, directly, to another person.
If it wasn't for Art--books, movies, music--it would not be possible to live.
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since about 6th grade. I blame Elementary School. Who in your family, is an avoidant? My Brother, I guess. How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? Regularly? Just one, I guess.How many PM's do you receive a day? Used to be one a day, but now I'm lucky to get any. How many emails do you receive a day or week? Junk mail, mostly. Maybe one a week, average. How many online friends have burned you? Not too many. But, I guess that depends on how you define "burn."How many offline friends do you have? 5 from school and some adults from church How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Well, several, but it's nothing more than a smile in the hall. How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? MAYBE 2 or 3 How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Well, I'm still in High School... same as last question. What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? Nerds. Ya know, D&D, Star Wars, that sorta stuff. Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? I wasn't that imaginative. What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? My friends. I've lost all the stuffed animals that I never talked to. What do you avoid the most? Annoying other people, but that's hard to do. Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose 'em. I annoy people that are just coming in, and that scares 'em off. I don't mean to. And I'm too shy to make new friends off the get-go.
Goob!!!!!
My ol' buddy!! I didn't realize you were an avoidant!! =O
It's too painful to answer the questions on the survey. I do not have a friend on this earth. I am not able to make or keep friends. I wish I didn't have to be around people. It's an embarrassment, just living, just being in public.
I've been hurt and I will never open myself or share what is in my heart, directly, to another person.
If it wasn't for Art--books, movies, music--it would not be possible to live.
Aww Sounds so sad....
I don't want to sound weird or make you feel uncomfortable, but if you want to talk, send me a PM anytime.
Just a thought, maybe we can eventually get our own subforum thingie at Mental Health. Be easier for people to find us, I think.
I do like the irony of an avoidant personality club. There are other people out there who know what it's like to be lonely, and it's good to talk about it.
One of the more difficult things for an avoidant, is the reactions you get by just being quiet. Apprehension, ridicule, baby-talk pity, mercilessly cheerful attempts to "draw you out", anything but acceptance. And people think that you can't hear anything, or that you're slow to understand, if you aren't jabbering. Whatever.
It's too painful to answer the questions on the survey. I do not have a friend on this earth. I am not able to make or keep friends. I wish I didn't have to be around people. It's an embarrassment, just living, just being in public.
I've been hurt and I will never open myself or share what is in my heart, directly, to another person.
If it wasn't for Art--books, movies, music--it would not be possible to live.
Hi Brel, you have a friend in all of us!!!! I think that you are special and I am blessed that you have joined this club too! welcome brother!!!!
As for the rest of our newest members WELCOME as well. I hope that you will find this club to be helpful to you all. We can all talk about our struggles and learn more about this trait of ours (or if you are hear to learn about this trait in general welcome!)
my next post is gonna be more about this trait of ours!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
__________________
His flower in His garden.
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anyway, I invite you to participate in this excersize. What will do if you want is to highlight the traits that is most like you (or your spose) and IF YOU WANT, you can explain more about why you think this okay here is the list:
avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection Totally me, let me just say this, I hate to even eat out cause of this.
is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked = oh yeah me again, I must "sense" that they will like me or I am not willing to talk to them, I may say hello but that is it
shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed - maybe this explains why I am in my 30's and never been in love
is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - OH YEAH this is definatly me!!!!! I am so scared of that, I even get depressed sometimes cause of this <
is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy Sometimes
views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others OH yes, especailly with certain types of people
is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Yeah, I would have to say most of the time, but if I HAVE too (like looking for a new job) I will.
Thank you all and I hope that this will help you too. More soon!
GOD BLESS and have a wonderful day!
__________________
His flower in His garden.
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Last edited by aflower4God; 26th July 2007 at 07:18 AM.
Reason: the java script was odd looking..... :O
I think to the....rest of the world....I appear.."normal", certainly outgoing and happy.....I'm friendly and chatty....however....when I get home I often AGONISE....what did people really think of me...and I dread seeing them again. I FORCE myself to socialise sometimes. Sometimes even with good friends after I've had a conversation with them I have to get reasssurance from my husband that I didn't ...make a fool of myself...when I was in conversation. For me it's an internal thing rather than an external thing. I've learned to outwardly "bluff" my way through life. I can act very confident but feel very insecure inside. Then I worry that people will believe that I really am confident, when INSIDE I'm not....then I worry about something else, and something else .... and so it goes on !!! My husband says I worry about everything.....and I shouldn't !!!
I often wish I could just crawl under a rock and live there forever, or wear "covered clothes" like those muslim ladies, so no one would know me, and I'd change my name.....it's all really rather silly at my age I guess.....sometimes it's worse than others, and when it gets bad it really gets scary and I'm afraid I'm going crazy.
Annie
__________________ Man can guess how many seeds there are in an apple.......but only God knows how many apples will grow from one apple seed.
I think to the....rest of the world....I appear.."normal", certainly outgoing and happy.....I'm friendly and chatty....however....when I get home I often AGONISE....what did people really think of me...and I dread seeing them again. I FORCE myself to socialise sometimes. Sometimes even with good friends after I've had a conversation with them I have to get reasssurance from my husband that I didn't ...make a fool of myself...when I was in conversation. For me it's an internal thing rather than an external thing. I've learned to outwardly "bluff" my way through life. I can act very confident but feel very insecure inside. Then I worry that people will believe that I really am confident, when INSIDE I'm not....then I worry about something else, and something else .... and so it goes on !!! My husband says I worry about everything.....and I shouldn't !!!
I often wish I could just crawl under a rock and live there forever, or wear "covered clothes" like those muslim ladies, so no one would know me, and I'd change my name.....it's all really rather silly at my age I guess.....sometimes it's worse than others, and when it gets bad it really gets scary and I'm afraid I'm going crazy.
Annie
Annie, thank you for taking the time to write this. I hope we can all help each other here. God bless you, for clearly saying what we feel.
I can relate to what you're saying (except I'm single). I always regret talking, but I'm still spontaneous, and then I get the anguish afterwards. The stress of it all is too much. When I'm alone, I have to tell myself that things are OK, I've got 4 walls around me, that at least for now things are safe and peaceful.
I didn't realize you were an avoidant!! =O 
Sounds so sad....
Welcome! 
Another fun Excersize 
Linear Mode
