Joy from the Hands of God

Yasha · #**301** 14th November 2008, 06:50 PM

It was a red footed day for me, Jesus. YOU are the number one BEST answer to ALL OF ME ! Wo.
B is always so there... straight from Harlem into my heart and soul ! Bless her weekend with fanatical peace, Jesus. How does it turn out that me and the Harlem street child are so connected that we soar? I don't know how You do that. What a sister to me she is. We share incest tales, and crack addict sons and a lack of anointing in similar ministries. She constantly reminds me to LEAVE things on Your altar once I place them there.... and today, she said the perfect thing:
" You need to become a shell !"
Meaning, an EMPTY vessel, perfect to be filled by YOU. She is so 'dead on' I could cry.

Then, there's P. Straight from the impoverished land of Hyderabad, India, into my very heart.....day in and day out ! How do You sew me together with such a fine man as this? A PK. Founder and president of an orphanage in Hyderabad.... Pastor at a local soup kitchen and CONSTANT minister to my spirit in sweetest fellowship ! Why do You count me among such a fellowship as his, Jesus? BLESS HIS HEART for Your Glory. Today, as ANY day, he heard my prayer requests with patient attention. I am covered ! You are merciful.

And, N. Sweetest little Haitian beauty I have ever seen, with a word of affirmation and encouragement for me. She wanted me to know how sweetly and completely You have lit her smile in the gift that You bid me give of her of Natalie Grant's CD 2 weeks ago. Her lucious little French accent, dripping with appreciation. YOU CALLED HER FACE to my mind on FIRST listen....after Moriah recommended the CD.... and I obeyed... and VOILA' ! You blessed us both in the Glory of Your presence testified.
YOU ARE THE KING OF ME, of us !

So.... now... to the testimony of Joy that most confirms the power of Your presence to me this day, Jesus.

Last night in deepest loneliness... I layed something, well someone, on Your altar. I trusted You to deliver to me an answer to that prayer. It was HARD ! I was shaking in the doing of it. And, today, apart from any effort on my part.... that person was given back to me. By their initiative... or by Your's in them. Whoa....like a wind, what a rush.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7eBnpVuIzI

"In Better Hands" ~ Natalie Grant ~

He who knows best how to endure suffering will enjoy greater peace
~
because he is the conqueror of himself, the master of the world, a friend to Christ..."
~ Thomas a' Kempis ~

Yasha · #**302** 17th November 2008, 06:02 AM

Well, Jesus.... we have been nursing my mother-in-law through her last days. There has been EVERY kind of drama surrounding this group.... UNBELIEVEABLE. From dying great grandma, to the tonsilectomy gone wrong in great grandson, to DUI head-on collisions with the x-crack addict grandson, to HIV and cancer in the severely abusive crack addict nephew, to open heart surgery in the aunt, to the dirt bike accident for another nephew, to the Parkinson's ridden visiting niece reading poetry to great grandma with trembling hands, to the MS aunt and her 2 MS daughters, to the steady stream of neighbors bearing foods and full dinners, to the tatooed lady best friend who is too sqeamish to help with the bedside care, to the daughter-in-law cleaning every week, to the grandkids coming to say 'goodbye' or 'hello' to grandma, to my injured old father-in-law whose been stealing her meds, to my D.A.R.E. cop sis-in-law with brain trauma in the nursing home a few miles away since last spring's motorcycle accident.... to the RN niece providing bedside care with her "hide-a-pack ciggies" in the soup tourine. Did we miss ANYTHING !?! ALL these events in the past few months !!! Lot's of life and death in this death, Jesus. Hope my death is as eventfilled and 'mark-ed' a 'happening.' .....sort of...!?!!

Lordy....we got it ALL in Hubb's family ! ALL ! My brand new top smells like an ashtray after yesterday's helping out at my mom-in-laws all day.... this right after driving by the "NO SMOKING ~ OXYGEN IN USE" sign on the front door to opening the back door and being assaulted by a cloud of smoke. My mother-in-law is dying of emphasema. My father-in-law is stealing her sleeping pills from the hospice nurse's pill caddy and hiding my mom-in-law's ciggies, while my cousin, the RN, is hiding a "hide-a-pack" in the soup tourine. This is my life, Jesus. ... and You even know the secret things that no one is copping to....

I don't know how You do it? !

So, where's the joy?
....well, I'm TRYING to get a "Heaven," and "please leave some legacy about your faith, for my son, your grandson, in conversation... if he comes by again" moment with my mother-in-law. Fat chance yesterday. So, I took this movie over, for all to giggle at. Media, the grandma in the movie, has NOTHING on our group ! Right down to an extremely abusive nephew who is begging his soon to be x-wife to care for him through his imminent HIV cancer-ridden death ! Could this movie have been more ironic? I own it, and this is the first time I've watched it since all these events have unfolded in our lives. Bless me, Hubbs, his mother and our one brother-in-law who are Your's, the family Christian representatives. We ARE a shoddy lot !

"Diary of a Mad Black Woman"

It was FUN to laugh ! Thanks, Jesus. BE OUR GOD AND JOY. amen.

Yasha · #**303** 20th November 2008, 06:04 AM

Joy. ..... hmmmphf. It goes missing in these days of focus on the elderly and their impending deaths. Tear covered faces whose lives lack former luster and purpose. We all try comforting, entertaining and restoring a sense of dignity and value, after those humbling needs for assistance with toileting and bathing. We all divert eyes from the soiled linens and jammies.... but, Lord, the falling of the seed into the earth as a wrinkled, trembling husk, that begs for life to be breathed into it for one more day..... what madness is this in Your plans? Returning, in full cognizance, to the dependency of a toddler or an infant....

Then there are the grieving spouses and family members whose awareness of the impending loss is peppered with the taxation of an already difficult schedule in modern times.

Unfold to me the joy in these days, Jesus. There seems only the joy of ministry to the needs, to the dependency, to the hope for warmth of transferred life to a flickering flame. All the smiles are tainted with hollow hungering. Lips uncluttered with You, seem futility.... but no one wants to talk about Heaven. That's all I think about, at my age, seemingly far from death. I only want to share You.... The house seems empty already.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPZQf796tFU

"Cold Desert" ~ Kings of Leon ~

Give way, Jesus.... make a road in the desert, make Yourself known. Amen.

Yasha · #**304** 21st November 2008, 06:01 PM

Home from WORK... I HAVE a job, thanks, Jesus.
a paycheck
a running vehicle complete with GOOD TUNZ, Baby
a warm illuminated house
a Hubbs
my comfy jammies
TV
my giblet hoggieChops
organic veggie pizza
riesling
a compu IT connection in my comfy office chair
fuzzy socks
.... and of course, morning coffee to look forward to
there might even be indoor sports.... it is the weekend, after all

I LOVE YOU for loving me, Jesus.

... and of course, there is this song, "Closer," that I have been listening to all week.... Teknon told me to cop this CD... we always do the same music... some kind of thread between our souls.

Originally Posted by Kings of Leon BIO

With its stunning melodies, ringing guitars, and razor-sharp grooves, Only By The Night delivers on the promise Kings of Leon have shown throughout their career. From the desolate atmospherics of the opening track "Closer" (which Caleb says is about a lovesick vampire) to the emotional intensity of the closing ballad "Cold Desert" ("about a man at the end of his rope who picks himself back up"), Only By The Night is all heart from start to finish.

Anyway, it feels like the kind of bleak autumn chill night that we learn to despise in the loss of a love that means a lot to us.... it's better getting those loves back ! Thanks for the coming restoration of Teknon into our family, Jesus. I LOVE him. Bless his renewal of Spirit, for Your Glory. amen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOg1YfapEd4

"Closer" ~ Kings of Leon ~

Kings of Leon.... three sons and a cousin. Sons of a traveling evangelist to boot. A preacher named Leon. My favorite new discovery, Jesus, thanks for them. Bless them in their journey. Bring them HOME to You. Realize their father's heart for You in his sons. amen

Yasha · #**305** 24th November 2008, 08:37 PM

... in a private audience, through the WONDER of Your might revealed in Psalm 18 and the friendship of M and the losses along the road....

Originally Posted by Psalm 18 (the Message)

6 A hostile world! I call to God,
I cry to God to help me.
From his palace he hears my call;
my cry brings me right into his presence—
a private audience!

7-15 Earth wobbles and lurches;
huge mountains shake like leaves,
Quake like aspen leaves
because of his rage.
His nostrils flare, bellowing smoke;
his mouth spits fire.
Tongues of fire dart in and out;
he lowers the sky.
He steps down;
under his feet an abyss opens up.
He's riding a winged creature,
swift on wind-wings.
Now he's wrapped himself
in a trenchcoat of black-cloud darkness.
But his cloud-brightness bursts through,
spraying hailstones and fireballs.
Then God thundered out of heaven;
the High God gave a great shout,
spraying hailstones and fireballs.
God shoots his arrows—pandemonium!
He hurls his lightnings—a rout!
The secret sources of ocean are exposed,
the hidden depths of earth lie uncovered
The moment you roar in protest,
let loose your hurricane anger.

16-19 But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

20-24 God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

25-27 The good people taste your goodness,
The whole people taste your health,
The true people taste your truth,
The bad ones can't figure you out.
You take the side of the down-and-out,
But the stuck-up you take down a peg.

28-29 Suddenly, God, you floodlight my life;
I'm blazing with glory, God's glory!
I smash the bands of marauders,
I vault the highest fences.

30 What a God! His road
stretches straight and smooth.
Every God-direction is road-tested.
Everyone who runs toward him
Makes it.

31-42 Is there any god like God?
Are we not at bedrock?
Is not this the God who armed me,
then aimed me in the right direction?
Now I run like a deer;
I'm king of the mountain.
He shows me how to fight;
I can bend a bronze bow!
You protect me with salvation-armor;
you hold me up with a firm hand,
caress me with your gentle ways.
You cleared the ground under me
so my footing was firm.
When I chased my enemies I caught them;
I didn't let go till they were dead men.
I nailed them; they were down for good;
then I walked all over them.
You armed me well for this fight,
you smashed the upstarts.
You made my enemies turn tail,
and I wiped out the haters.
They cried "uncle"
but Uncle didn't come;
They yelled for God
and got no for an answer.
I ground them to dust; they gusted in the wind.
I threw them out, like garbage in the gutter.

43-45 You rescued me from a squabbling people;
you made me a leader of nations.
People I'd never heard of served me;
the moment they got wind of me they listened.
The foreign devils gave up; they came
on their bellies, crawling from their hideouts.

46-48 Live, God! Blessings from my Rock,
my free and freeing God, towering!
This God set things right for me
and shut up the people who talked back.
He rescued me from enemy anger,
he pulled me from the grip of upstarts,
He saved me from the bullies.

49-50 That's why I'm thanking you, God,
all over the world.
That's why I'm singing songs
that rhyme your name.
God's king takes the trophy;
God's chosen is beloved.
I mean David and all his children—
always.

When I got done reading that, I was drenched in You, Jesus. Thanks ! You ROCK The Rock.

So we spent more time together and you brought me to this:

Originally Posted by 1 Corinthians 1(the Message)

22-25 ... --Christ is God's ultimate miracle and wisdom all wrapped up in one. Human wisdom is so tinny, so impotent, next to the seeming absurdity of God. Human strength can't begin to compete with God's "weakness." 26-31 Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don't see many of "the brightest and the best" among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That's why we have the saying, "If you're going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God."

Which is kind of You to point out to this broken one. Thanks !

And finally....to something NEW, this version says it in a way I had never read it before. Funny, yesterday was a joyful big bonfire bratwurst and weeny roast with dear friends, including M, and my grandson's BDay. I was thinking of my dear friend M, a Jewess, whose diligent parenting of her two boys is admirable to me. I was thinking of what a loyal and faithful and intimate friend she has been to me. I was thinking of how, spiritually, she seems unseparated from me.... even more than many Christians, whose walks are less intimate with You.... and then You lead me here:

Originally Posted by Romans 8:38-9:9(the Message)

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Romans 9
God Is Calling His People

1-5 At the same time, you need to know that I carry with me at all times a huge sorrow. —Christ and the Holy Spirit are my witnesses. It's the Israelites...If there were any way I could be cursed by the Messiah so they could be blessed by him, I'd do it in a minute. They're my family. I grew up with them. They had everything going for them—family, glory, covenants, revelation, worship, promises, to say nothing of being the race that produced the Messiah, the Christ, who is God over everything, always. Oh, yes!
6-9Don't suppose for a moment, though, that God's Word has malfunctioned in some way or other. The problem goes back a long way. From the outset,not all Israelites of the flesh were Israelites of the spirit. It wasn't Abraham's sperm that gave identity here, but God's promise. Remember how it was put: "Your family will be defined by Isaac"? That means that Israelite identity was never racially determined by sexual transmission, but it was God-determined by promise. Remember that promise, "When I come back next year at this time, Sarah will have a son"?

I thought of the great ache I had for Teknon, in his absence, separated from our family.... the:' It's an enormous pain deep within me, and I'm never free of it. I'm not exaggerating...' (from verse 2). And, I realize that in Teknon's absence from me, You have shaped my heart to know Your sorrow a little better. Thank You, Jesus. The better I know You, the better I understand Your Heart for me and the others I walk this journey's road with.

Bless Your aching heart with some small joy that I now know You a little better, for Your glory. amen

Yasha · #**306** 27th November 2008, 08:37 AM

TODAY....
at around 9:40am EST USA,
this blog marked 10,000 visits looking for evidence of Your JOY, Jesus !!!
Keep me faithful to THAT testimony, for YOUR GLORY. amen.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING< Yeshua Ha'Mashiach !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KqO-VLOnpw

"Sweetly Broken" ~ Jeremy Riddle ~

bow to your KING

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewU9lcuazHk&NR=1

"God of All Glory" ~ Jeremy Riddle ~

Yasha · #**307** 3rd December 2008, 12:50 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXhJ3oCg3K8

"I Loved Her First" ~ Heartland ~
T's and PapaM's song.... MamaR LOVED IT !!!
I know YOU loved MamaR FIRST, Jesus.

Thanks Jesus. MamaR is in Heaven with You. Please hear all the petitions we sent with her to Your Throne. Especially the one's for Teknon's deliverance from his addictions and PapaM's salvation !

Thanks for the joy of helping to prepare her body for cremation. I never did that before. I met many Christian family members who had been hidden from me, previously. I found joy in the testimony of MamaR, to my daughter and PapaM, on Thanksgiving evening in her last easy breaths, after which she began to fail quickly.

You ANSWERED that hope for me, at least for our daughter.... Teknon has been, so far, absent..... except by phone, if we call him. He's still so in need of learning to minister to others in need ! He could support me and his father MUCH MORE. Please GROW him, Jesus. I'm fighting against disappointment in him, in this fragile new reunion. Stir his spirit toward his father's need for support, Jesus, please.

Be with Hubbs in his journey through these uncertain days for our PapaM.

Yasha · #**308** 6th December 2008, 09:27 AM

Okay... so, MamaR passed. She's up there with You, free from the troubles of this place. I like that ! Her and my Dad are both up there, now. She made such a great exit, too, in Your Spirit manifest in her after dinner. Thank You, Jesus.

Now, I have the flu or something.... and, I'm stuck here, can't go over to PapaM and help out Hubbs, til I recover. I'm trying to behave. So, I began the 'traditional' Christmas decorating.... it's funny how these ritual traditions can be such a familiar comfort during these times. Hubb's has a noticeable draw to the home after the decorations began to go up.... me, Too. It's just a look that's so full of GOOD MEMORIES that it comforts by osmosis. He needs comfort.

Jesus, we are too broke to share Christmas gifts this year, or greeting cards, either. Please, PROVIDE in Your Spirit, for all the traditional blessings that are to be set aside because of work loss. FLOOD OUR HOME WITH YOUR PRESENCE. Help us to both recognize and receive YOU over the coming weeks through Your birthday celebration. Be our everything.

Heal our grief, Jesus, and THANK YOU for the lingering suffering of MamaR's death, and eventual SWIFT decline, IN ONE ASPECT. We all had time for closure and preparation for the loss of her. Thank her for giving us that, in her wisdom, and embrace her with Your very ample touch, Jesus. amen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTXdSOmAgtU

"Deck the Halls" ~ various artists ~

Yasha · #**309** 8th December 2008, 03:06 PM

THANKS that we have this nice warm place to call home, Jesus. I'm 80% done the decorating... and the Christmasy atmosphere, though subdued by finances and grief, is settling in. Hallelujah for Christmas joys. Please prepare us to enjoy whatever this Season has to offer and whatever we have to offer this Season.

Hubbs is out in the woods outback, hunting. Please provide him, us, with a big fat juicy buck this winter. We could use the meat and the uplift of his successful hunt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNAZ56kQv2U

"If Today Was Your last Day" ~ Nickelback ~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe-Eosmk6oE

Psalm 39:4 (New International Version)

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

Psalm 90:12
Amplified Bible (AMP)

View commentary related to this passage

12 So teach us to number our days, that we may get us a heart of wisdom.

Yasha · #**310** 9th December 2008, 10:12 AM

One of the canned answers that I always hear from people who don't believe in Jesus and Heaven is,"I'm going to Hell with all the othe other sinners. I wouldn't fit in in Heaven." or something like that.

To which my mind always says.... where are they gonna find the 'non-sinners' to populate Heaven, anyway? Do people really believe that Heaven is filled with saints alone?

Thanks to SassyB for sending this little poem to make me smile:

BEST POEM IN THE WORLD!

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why's everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
~ Laurence J. Peter

Amplified Bible (AMP)
View commentary related to this passage
John 6:29 Jesus replied, This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger].

Made a new avatar today....

"birthdayBoy" ~ GabrielleAngelo ^^ 2008 ~