| Parenting A forum for parents to discuss parenting issues. |  | | 
11th September 2003, 01:46 AM
|  | Veteran 33  | | Join Date: 14th August 2003
Posts: 1,325
Blessings: 90,740
Reps: 66 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by psycmajor Does anybody have any suggestions for adult temper tantrums?  Uh, yeah, a friend wants to know. 
Try counting to 10. First go foward with even...2,4,6 etc. and then count backwards...9,7,5 until you get to one. Usually, a person has to focus to do this and by the time it's completed anger seems redirected. (haha) I don't know if this really works. What works for me is "God give me the strength to deal with this situation in the best way possible." | 
11th September 2003, 04:08 AM
|  | Kisser of Boo-Boos 35 
| | Join Date: 1st September 2003 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 23,536
Blessings: 186,412 My Mood
Reps: 49,148,740 (power: 49,180) | | Originally Posted by water_ripple She is 2.
Yes, sometimes she throws temper tantrums. It is not as bad as it used to be since she started talking more. My docotor has told me that children in this age group sometimes display this behavior and it is totally normal. "Age appropriate behavior" was also a phrase she used to describe the phenomenon. Her advice was to ignore the behavior and eventually it would go away as my child got older. I have tried this and it does not work at all for my daughter. If I ignore her tantrum she is moody and acts this way all day long! I have recently began using time-outs as a coping device for her and myself. A cooling down period. This I have found is somewhat successful, but rather difficult to inforce in public places.
2 year olds are pretty much impossible to reason with...you might have noticed  .
Discipline in public places....well, I have 2 girls (ages 2 and 4) and we do time outs at home for misbehavior, a spanking for rudeness and backtalk. When we're out in public, if they are misbehaving, I have no problem at all sitting them down right in the middle of the aisle in the grocery store and enforcing a time out, if neccessary. This embarrasses my husband to no end, but it's embarrassing to me to have kids who disobey me when I tell them something. Yes, people will look at you a little funny, but you have to show your kids that the rules don't change just because you're in a public place. For my 4 year old (who loves to walk, not ride in the shopping cart), I can usually just put her in the cart for a time out. Also, they are usually allowed 1 treat each...sometimes candy, sometimes fruit, a favorite box of cereal, a ride on the toy horse outside the store, they get to pick (we only grocery shop about twice a month so it's no big deal). If the misbehavior continues, they don't get a treat. That's a big deal even to my 2 year old...usually enough to get them to act right.
I've searched and searched for alternatives to spanking them and I've found a few that really seem to work. I designate a particular time out spot for each of them...when they get put in 'that' corner, they know they've done something wrong. Also, they like to watch videos...if they misbehave, the movie goes off. Don't get me wrong, spanking is sometimes neccessary, but you must be careful that you don't spank them just because you've lost your patience with them. I feel myself getting to that point sometimes and that's when I pray for patience and find a different way to handle it.
I just said a prayer for you, Water...being a loving mommy (or a daddy) is definitely the toughest job in the world.
Love, Heather | 
11th September 2003, 04:24 AM
|  | Veteran 33  | | Join Date: 14th August 2003
Posts: 1,325
Blessings: 90,740
Reps: 66 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by HeatherJay I just said a prayer for you, Water...being a loving mommy (or a daddy) is definitely the toughest job in the world. 
Thanx for your kindness. =) | 
11th September 2003, 01:07 PM
|  | Regular Member 60  | | Join Date: 6th July 2003 Location: AZ
Posts: 147
Blessings: 88,613
Reps: 139,535,157 (power: 139,544) | | | People, the whole ideal behind me throwing a tantrum was to show my child how she looked! She thought mommy looked funny and I told her that's how she looked when she behaved that way. Remember, I did this at home.
__________________ Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona George F. Will: Men at Work | 
11th September 2003, 02:53 PM
| | Contributor
 | | Join Date: 24th June 2003
Posts: 5,817
Blessings: 91,110
Reps: 1,230 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by bravesaz People, the whole ideal behind me throwing a tantrum was to show my child how she looked! She thought mommy looked funny and I told her that's how she looked when she behaved that way. Remember, I did this at home.  I understand your frustration with people insinuating that what you did was wrong and you don't have to justify how you choose to raise your child. I say - Do what works for your child. If that got the point across - great. Then your better off than others who are still struggling with the tantrums. I have an 18 month old and trust me - I may resort to YOUR technique if mine don't work!
Anyway, just didn't want you think you're the only one - btw, my mother has actually done the same thing to me in similiar situations..........and I was much older! lol.......... | 
11th September 2003, 06:37 PM
|  | Kisser of Boo-Boos 35 
| | Join Date: 1st September 2003 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 23,536
Blessings: 186,412 My Mood
Reps: 49,148,740 (power: 49,180) | | | LOL, My mom used to tape record us screaming throwing tantrums...then she'd play it back to us. Man, that used to make me mad. I think it made me think better of throwing a tantrum next time, though, because I hated being embarrassed like that. Don't let anyone knock your technique...never underestimate a child's pride.
Love, Heather | 
11th September 2003, 06:58 PM
|  | Non nobis domine sed tuo nomine da gloriam 38 
| | Join Date: 7th March 2002
Posts: 14,564
Blessings: 646,552
Reps: 165,729,489,790,412,576 (power: 165,729,489,790,436) | | Originally Posted by HeatherJay I've searched and searched for alternatives to spanking them and I've found a few that really seem to work.
Just out of curiosity, why have you looked for alternatives? Do you find that you spank for the wrong reasons? As you seem to understand, spanking is a biblically based method of dealing with willfully rebellious behavior so why would you feel the need to find an alternative to a biblically based method?
Thanks,
God bless
__________________ "Apart from an acknowledgment of God's absolute, all encompassing sovereignty, there can be no true thanksgiving, praise, or childlike dependence upon Him. What a gracious thing that He has opened our eyes to behold with wonder His works. As John the Baptist said, a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. How gracious He has been to us!" - One of my beloved brothers in the Lord Jesus | 
11th September 2003, 07:01 PM
|  | Non nobis domine sed tuo nomine da gloriam 38 
| | Join Date: 7th March 2002
Posts: 14,564
Blessings: 646,552
Reps: 165,729,489,790,412,576 (power: 165,729,489,790,436) | | Originally Posted by bravesaz People, the whole ideal behind me throwing a tantrum was to show my child how she looked! She thought mommy looked funny and I told her that's how she looked when she behaved that way. Remember, I did this at home.
Sorry but I don't think doing something your child thinks is funny is an appropriate way to deal with inappropriate behavior. I'm glad that it worked out for you but it's not a duplicatable method of dealing with a child's rebelliousness. What if she curses at a teacher? Are you going to curse at her?
Anyway, I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your child. I just think you're setting yourself up for trouble. At some point your child is going to acknowledge that if you do it it's okay.
God bless
__________________ "Apart from an acknowledgment of God's absolute, all encompassing sovereignty, there can be no true thanksgiving, praise, or childlike dependence upon Him. What a gracious thing that He has opened our eyes to behold with wonder His works. As John the Baptist said, a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. How gracious He has been to us!" - One of my beloved brothers in the Lord Jesus | 
11th September 2003, 11:18 PM
|  | Senior Veteran 36 
| | Join Date: 20th August 2003 Location: La Vista
Posts: 3,838
Blessings: 79,810
Reps: 9,223,372,036,855,660 (power: 9,223,372,036,867) | | | That adult temper tantrum is a good idea. For my oldest daughter, 9, I told her I'd act [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] at her teacher conferences if she doesn't stop sassing. She's quite agreeable now. | 
11th September 2003, 11:23 PM
| | Contributor
 | | Join Date: 24th June 2003
Posts: 5,817
Blessings: 91,110
Reps: 1,230 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by desi That adult temper tantrum is a good idea. For my oldest daughter, 9, I told her I'd act [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] at her teacher conferences if she doesn't stop sassing. She's quite agreeable now.  I bet she loved that one! That is too hiliarious! |  | | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode | | | |