TERRIBLE sinful thoughts about Jesus I can't get rid of!

Dear Gareth,

I've not read all of the responses in this thread, yet your post immediately captured my attention. I can barely contain myself as I type this response, yet I have battled an almost identical trangression, although my blasphemous thoughts toward the Lord are predominantly not sexual in nature (although some of them are). Believe me, they are even worse than what you are describing here. Please know that you are not alone! This is the first occasion I have ever read of anyone going through something similar! This very transgression drove me from the Lord almost ten years ago, caused me to become suicidal, engendered a constant fear within me that I would commit the unpardonable sin, paralyzed my entire existence for years. In my panic and torment I could not discover a solution, I was so disheartened that I gave up and did all I could to flee from the Lord just to drive the maddening thoughts away. A few months ago I recommitted my life to Jesus and I yet continue to struggle with it on a daily basis. Nevertheless, instead of attempting to suppress the thoughts that enter my mind as I used to, I counterattack them with Scripture. Attempting to suppress a thought merely reinforces your focus upon it--it will never, ever work. I know this, I have been going through this for a long while. Although I still struggle a great deal and I am depressed much of the time, I have noticed that there is a decrease in the frequency of the thoughts. Sanctification is a process!

I urge you to memorize Scripture--the more, the better. I recite 1 Corinthians 10:13 a lot, as well as other Scriptures to bring down any lie Satan or my flesh is introducing. God asks us to daily renew our minds and as difficult as this may be, He would never ask us to do the impossible. What we cannot do for ourselves He has already done for us, and through the help of His Holy Spirit we can overcome the sins that cripple us and steal our joy.

I also recommend that you be very diligent with your heart. Meaning, take great care what you expose yourself to (ie the type of programs you watch, the music you listen to) and the activities you engage in. It is difficult enough to remain sexually pure without exposing ourselves to the garbage that can be found in the world.

Please feel free to PM me whenever you need support or a friend to listen. If for a moment you entertain the thought, please don't give up on your relationship with the Lord because of this. I did for a season and it was the worst error I committed: it solved absolutely nothing. Yet through His unbelievable grace and mercy, He drew me back in. He is the only one who can cleanse and liberate us--we need to cling to Him no matter what the cost! He loves us and wants us to be holy infinitely more than we do. He would not draw us to Himself and then leave us without resources to live the life He desires us to. He wishes for us only the best!

God bless you for having a pliant, sensitive heart before Him that desires to live life according to His will. Hang in there, sweetheart! The Lord is good and His thoughts toward you are excellent and innumerable!

(I apologize for the frenzied lack of eloquence--I discard grammatical sense when I am emotional!) *Smile*

I know what you are going through.
I haven't had any problems with masturbation, because iam a girl.
But i have had horrible, evil thoughts running through my head. Thoughts that tear me away from everything i like, because it makes them all insult Jesus. I mentioned it before on one of my threads, and i think you are going through a similar thing.

I don't really have anything to say that will stop the thoughts, but if i find an answer to the problem or get some good advice, i will share it with you.

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In quietness and trust is your strength

Favourite quotes ive heard:

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves"

"I'd rather be hated for who i am, than loved for someone i am not"

"You laugh at me because iam different. I laugh at you because you're all the same"

Originally Posted by brettnolan

Sorry to be so pessimistic, but having read everything in this thread, this sounds to me like a guy having fun messing with the gullible Christians.

I don't mean to be rude, in any case.

Although I am not the least bit inclined to believe your assumption, please know that this in actuality does occur in the life of some Christians, and it can be horribly frightening in a way that someone who has never endured it can fathom.

One word for you Gareth: scrupulosity. This is a form of OCD where you obsess about sinning. The thoughts you're having are not your fault. I've been in the same boat as you, so I know what I'm talking about. I've had equally terrible thoughts come to mind, trust me.

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"God so loved the world that he made up his mind to damn a large majority of the human race." — Robert G. Ingersoll

Wow I am not alone.

Originally Posted by EltronRangamma

Wow I am not alone.

I guess we aren't. I know what 1 Corinthians 10:13 says about a temptation not seizing us that isn't common to all men...yet I really felt alone with this for almost ten years until I read the original poster's comments.

There are medications to treat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/OCD. It can be hard to fight otherwise. It's worth bringing this up next time you see your doctor or a counselor.

You might also mention about the funny nausea-like feelings in your stomach that you mentioned in your first post. That could mean many things and it's worth mentioning to a doctor. Be detailed about it.

Meanwhile, here's an OCD support board. They use the same program for their forum that we do making it easy to get used to-- and sign up is free.

http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums

If you scroll about ¾ of the way down the page, you'll see the OCD forum. I'd leave you its direct link, but for some reason, I'm not able to leave it on this post.

~Sandy

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If you read John Bunyan's Grace Abounding for the Chief of Sinners (His spiritual autobiography-he was the author of Pilgrim's Progress), you will find many parallels and will help you realize what you are battling with.

By the way, you can read it online or download it at

http://www.ccel.org/b/bunyan/abounding/grace.htm

I know it, as it has been my experience in life as well to have intrusive thoughts, and have learnt, by filling myself with the reality of the Lord as revealed in the Prophecies of the OT and in the Fulfilment in the Gospels and in the heavenly teaching of the Epistles, to be guarded by and in His love through His finished work on the Cross. He died for our sins. He lives for ever to keep us.

Take courage, and the more Satan would want to distract you with evil thoughts, the more cleave to the Lord. Keep away from evil contents and evil associations, and stick to what is of good report ... keep looking up and waiting for the Lord while serving Him in what He may guide you. But first of all learn that He is for you. That's the why of His cross. he died for you ...

Very cordially,

doulos

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... you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true
God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from
the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to
come. (1 Thess. 1:9, 10.)


O by Thy love constrain us,
And fix our hearts on Thee;
Let nothing henceforth pain us,
But that which paineth Thee;
Our joy, our blest endeavour,
Through suffering, conflict, shame,
To serve Thee, gracious Saviour,
And magnify Thy name.

J. G. Deck (1807-1884)

Don't worry dude, you're alone with that ****. That's what SATAN wants us to think. i've thought that, but, instead ...not that he was getting masturbated, but that I myself would be doing that while there (only because I would be naked and I have this crazy fetish with being naked in a public setting, like nudism and ****).

Doulos, a loud, resonant, and hearty AMEN to that.

And I really think every genuine Christian goes through it at one point or another, because, well, we really are fighting a war. I don't think we realize it because we're preoccupied with many things, the American Dream, family, even ministry can usurp our study and prayer time if we're not careful to keep a balance. And our alone time with God and the love and obedience it yields is where our victory is. I didn't realize until recently that God really is jealous of our time. And that's a good thing. It's preservation.

Many blessings.

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