i've been together with my gf for a little less than a couple years now. i am 27 and our relationship is pretty serious. the problem is.. sex.
coming into our relationship.. neither of us were virgins. though we made a commitment to keep sex out of our relationship, having tasted the forbidden fruit, we broke quite early. now, it's very hard to abstain. for one.. we're in a long distance relationship. she's in boston and i'm in the bay area.. so when we do see each other.. it's very very hard not to.
i don't know.. i read alot of sites.. on Godly relationships.. and though most all of them differ in opinion and advice in one way or another, they are all unanimously consistent with ----> don't have premarital sex period.
these sites tell us how we can avoid not having premarital sex for the first time and stuff but, i have yet to come across reading material that says to me.. "okay, you've sinned. you're hooked in sin. these are steps you need to take to get out."
it's my conscience that bothers me. going against the Holy Spirit tears me apart. it's.. knowing she's coming into town for the weekend and anticipating and premeditating sin.. i gave up trying to convince myself that i'll stop myself because.. when i'm with her.. in that moment.. all reasoning and logic just flies out the window and i get consumed with lust.. everytime without fail.
i WANT to please God. i WANT to have a Godly relationship. but i also WANT to make love to her. so.. i try praying about it but i realize that i do not WANT to stop WANTING to make love with her. this is really getting to me cuz it's getting in the way with my walk with God. basically.. i put lovemaking above God in my priority and i don't know how to change that..
i'm struggling. and i hope you realize that my struggle is genuine.
marriage is not an option.. yet. and many people like to use unwanted consequences such as unwanted pregnancies.. diseases.. to make people think twice about sex but that stuff doesn't phase me at all. i was in the christianity and sexuality? section of this forum and that definitely did not help. some posts almost convinced me that premarital sex is quite beneficial in an amusing way. any advise would be greatly appreciated.
thanks in advance...
I just got out of a similar relationship. I was in MI and my ex-gf was in NC. Whenever I would see her all we would do was have sex. I look back at it and can say that I was extremely selfish in having sex knowing I was going against God. I lost focus on what was important in my life and that was God. Eventually after a year and a half relationship we broke up. Rather than finding and acknowledging the inner beauty of my ex-gf all I was focused on was pleasing my sexual emotions. Is God the center of your current relationship? Meaning do you and your gf both accept God as the center. Sex can be overcome with a strong spiritual relationship with God. Whenever you have the urge to have sex I would grab the bible and think whether or not you are fulfilling your purpose or God's purpose on Earth. I can honestly say that now that I have accepted God as my center I have alot more control over my sexual wants.
I guess I'm not very observant. Oopsie! Thanks for pointin' it out.
In Christ,
Tink
__________________
I take up compassion and surrender my excuses. I stand against injustice and commit to live out simple acts of God's love. I refuse to do nothing. This is my resolve. I AM THE LOVE REVOLUTION.
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Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America. Amen.
I take up compassion and surrender my excuses. I stand against injustice and commit to live out simple acts of God's love. I refuse to do nothing. This is my resolve. I AM THE LOVE REVOLUTION.
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Ministry Team Moderator
Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America. Amen.
We will be praying for you as you are in a very, very difficult situation. Also take your worries to God and he will provide for you. If you will let him. Rise up to the occasion and speak your convictions. God bless.
__________________ Have a great November, Thanksgiving around the Corner!
Caelda, I think you are right and I think I may be one of the reasons. I'm not sure how to begin this, so I guess I'll just jump right in.
This weekend, I drove a considerable distance to spend the weekend with a young woman I met this summer during a church outing. We immediately hit it off and we had many things in common. We have talked or emailed each other almost every day since we met over a month and a half ago and we talked late into the night on many occasions. I can say that I have never been in love or even close to it, so this was very exciting for me because it felt different from the start.
This weekend everything started off good. We were enjoying each other's company for the first two days and we drew closer together. Then one evening, things got very hot and heavy and although we didn't have intercourse, we committed sexual sin. We had several opportunities to stop, but we chose not to. This continued until I left yesterday.
While the pleasure was exhilirating, I felt emptiness because I knew that we had sinned. My entire drive home, I kept trying to rationalize and justify our actions. I made myself feel better until I arrived home, checked my email and found a message from her.
She was sick with guilt about pushing me that far and she blamed herself for making me sin. As I am a virgin and she is not, she only wanted to shoulder the blame for herself because she still cannot feel forgiven for her past. We have emailed a couple times back and forth and it is clear that our behavior has driven a wedge between us. She cannot even bring herself to talk to me on the phone because she is so guilty and I cannot think about anything else because she means so much to me and I fear that I am losing her. I am so angry at myself because I had prayed to God that He would send me someone whom I could love and now I have perverted that because of my inability to restrain myself. I guess what I am asking here is for prayer and for any advice on how to fix what we so foolisly have tried to destroy. Thank you in advance and God bless you all.
Last edited by Buffalo Wing; 7th September 2004 at 04:39 PM.
All Christian
Maybe it's the friend that gsmithcat talked about--the friend that ended up breaking up but has a baby in another state. 
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