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  #1  
Old 8th June 2007, 01:56 PM
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God failed me

God failed me.

I am finally willing to admit it that God failed me. I try to dwell on the song that “he has promised he will never fail” but I realize now that there is no denying it, God failed me.

I look at people around me, in church, at work, my family, everywhere, somehow they seem to have grasped the meaning of life, they go to work, they have friends, they come to church, and they are content. They have balanced their desire and their needs with the will of God. I wish I could to that too; my desire is to do the will of God, my need is to know him more, my hope is for a relationship with him, somehow though, I hang, unbalanced.

I know what I should do though; I have heard it said a million, no, billion, times. “Fast and pray”, “God’s time is the best”, “he is always there”, and my favorite, “he loves you, always, no matter what”. I believe all of that, I really do, otherwise I would have given up long ago. Actually, I confess, I have given up before but I came back. I came back and now, it hurts even more. It hurts because I can’t give up again, I read my bible and I see what the lord did for Abraham, for Isaac, for Jacob, for Job, for Daniel, for Esther, for David, For Ruth, For Elijah, for those three guys he saved from the furnace, for Jonah. I read the book of Lamentations and I know hope is all I have left, that hasn’t failed me. So I fast, and I pray, and I cry, oh how I sob, I go to church everyday of the week, I go for night vigils, I go for Christian concerts, I listen to Christian music, I have a song for every unfortunate situation, I am rich in Christ I tell myself, I have strength that God has given me, I am here today because of God’s grace. I dwell on the bible passages “ask and ye shall receive”, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you”, “Oh that you would bless me oh lord and increase my territory”, “Only by the grace of God are we saved”, need I continue?

I wish all that was wrong were just the physical things, the material things. If I didn’t get into the medical school of my choice, if I didn’t have a job, if I didn’t have a family, if I didn’t have money, or food to eat, or a room I can call home, if I didn’t have any of these, then I could join other people suffering and I could really then have faith that God’s plan is the best. But that’s not it. Mine is spiritual, or is it? I try to figure out a way to explain it, but I know, oh how I have learnt, that this, this can only be understood by God. I have gone to deliverance ministers to no avail. I ask the ever evasive question, Lord, why me? I would give everything up in a heartbeat, everything, my family, my job, medical school, my friends, anything you want God, anything. I made pledges, I even redeemed them, but my miracle, my testimonies, still yet to come. Was it too much to ask, how can it be? Who else can I turn to?

I know God uses trials to bring us closer to him, I welcome them. If the result of trials is a closer relationship with God, then why does it seem that my only option is to cop out? I have run out of prayers, I have run out of Shepard, my only request now is quite simple. It involves nothing, it requires nothing, and no one gets hurt, not even me.
I wake up every morning and go to bed at night with the same mustard seed faith. This mustard seed gives me faith just enough to hope and hope enough to hurt. Please save me... or not.
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  #2  
Old 8th June 2007, 03:03 PM
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In all this, I don't think God failed you. You just sound like you're depressed. I'm not sure what else to tell you, really.
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Old 8th June 2007, 03:32 PM
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imm, I'm not sure what your post is getting at. In what way has God failed you? It sounds as though He has blessed you with a good job and family and so on.

I remember that Paul had an unspecified "thorn in the flesh" which he prayed that God would remove, and God would not do so because the thorn caused Paul to rely on God. "My power is perfected in weakness," God said. Could it be that whatever this is, is just such a "thorn" for you? In that case, I believe you can rely on God's power daily to strengthen and sustain you through it.

There may, of course, be other reasons why a particular trial or problem doesn't go away. Sometimes we are doing things ourselves that perpetuate the problem. Sometimes God wants us to take particular steps to combat the problem, which we are not taking. Without more information, it's hard to give you more encouragement than this. My heart goes out to you, though.
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  #4  
Old 8th June 2007, 03:58 PM
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Helping hand

Hello friend, i am sorry that you are having such a struggle, indeed there is nothing i can do for you.

But this reminds me of a story.....
You see in the early 1900's there was a guy who hit jackpot in Colorado, he found one of the largest gold belts ever......for years he mined it and purchased the very best mining machinery available to man back then.....he spent so much on his living and on mining stuff that he was running about even. Well one day he came to the end of the gold in that belt.

He had spent so much moey that not only was he out of gold, but out of funds all together.......he was indeed at the end of his road.

Then because he needed money so badly he sold the property and all the mining machinery for little to nothing.
The fellow who bought it became one of the richest men in the world, he is still known because his property is still considered one of the largest gold belt to this day.

he was later asked how or where he mined that he was able to find all that gold.......

he said.....i only had to dig 3 feet farther than the guy that sold it to him.........three feet farther.....that's it!


how must it have felt to be that guy that lost out on so much......yowsa!
But think of how much more you would be missing out on if you quit now!

God knows all things, He knows our limits.....perhaps it is for this purpose....perhaps you need to go just 3 feet farther!

God Bless you my brother! God has not failed you! He just has really big plans for you!
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  #5  
Old 8th June 2007, 04:12 PM
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Somewhere you and good, healthy Christian teaching have not met each other.

You might like to go to www.perichoresis.org. and follow the audio link to find a series of 4 talks by Baxter Cruger :The Great Dance lectures. He gives a very interesting and life giving perspective on our Christian life.

Bless you for your sincerity and devotion.

John
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  #6  
Old 8th June 2007, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by twistedsketch View Post
In all this, I don't think God failed you. You just sound like you're depressed. I'm not sure what else to tell you, really.
Unless you can prove that by explaining that statement, I believe what you just stated is a failure. Sorry.
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Old 8th June 2007, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by imm View Post
God failed me.

I am finally willing to admit it that God failed me. I try to dwell on the song that “he has promised he will never fail” but I realize now that there is no denying it, God failed me.

I look at people around me, in church, at work, my family, everywhere, somehow they seem to have grasped the meaning of life, they go to work, they have friends, they come to church, and they are content. They have balanced their desire and their needs with the will of God. I wish I could to that too; my desire is to do the will of God, my need is to know him more, my hope is for a relationship with him, somehow though, I hang, unbalanced.

I know what I should do though; I have heard it said a million, no, billion, times. “Fast and pray”, “God’s time is the best”, “he is always there”, and my favorite, “he loves you, always, no matter what”. I believe all of that, I really do, otherwise I would have given up long ago. Actually, I confess, I have given up before but I came back. I came back and now, it hurts even more. It hurts because I can’t give up again, I read my bible and I see what the lord did for Abraham, for Isaac, for Jacob, for Job, for Daniel, for Esther, for David, For Ruth, For Elijah, for those three guys he saved from the furnace, for Jonah. I read the book of Lamentations and I know hope is all I have left, that hasn’t failed me. So I fast, and I pray, and I cry, oh how I sob, I go to church everyday of the week, I go for night vigils, I go for Christian concerts, I listen to Christian music, I have a song for every unfortunate situation, I am rich in Christ I tell myself, I have strength that God has given me, I am here today because of God’s grace. I dwell on the bible passages “ask and ye shall receive”, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you”, “Oh that you would bless me oh lord and increase my territory”, “Only by the grace of God are we saved”, need I continue?

I wish all that was wrong were just the physical things, the material things. If I didn’t get into the medical school of my choice, if I didn’t have a job, if I didn’t have a family, if I didn’t have money, or food to eat, or a room I can call home, if I didn’t have any of these, then I could join other people suffering and I could really then have faith that God’s plan is the best. But that’s not it. Mine is spiritual, or is it? I try to figure out a way to explain it, but I know, oh how I have learnt, that this, this can only be understood by God. I have gone to deliverance ministers to no avail. I ask the ever evasive question, Lord, why me? I would give everything up in a heartbeat, everything, my family, my job, medical school, my friends, anything you want God, anything. I made pledges, I even redeemed them, but my miracle, my testimonies, still yet to come. Was it too much to ask, how can it be? Who else can I turn to?

I know God uses trials to bring us closer to him, I welcome them. If the result of trials is a closer relationship with God, then why does it seem that my only option is to cop out? I have run out of prayers, I have run out of Shepard, my only request now is quite simple. It involves nothing, it requires nothing, and no one gets hurt, not even me.
I wake up every morning and go to bed at night with the same mustard seed faith. This mustard seed gives me faith just enough to hope and hope enough to hurt. Please save me... or not.
Dear Imm

Well now I know every detail of what you are doing for YOURSELF!!! But i seemed to have missed what your doing to serve GOD.

It is one thing to learn about something but it's a TOTAL WASTE if it's not put into ACTION.

When you respond to this post PLEASE tell me what you are doing to help someone that needs help. Maybe then GOD will hear you.

JUST REMEMBER:

“ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components which are: hearing, accepting, and then " ACTING " upon that which you have accepted. X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O ( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
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  #8  
Old 8th June 2007, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by imm View Post
God failed me.

I am finally willing to admit it that God failed me. I try to dwell on the song that “he has promised he will never fail” but I realize now that there is no denying it, God failed me.

I look at people around me, in church, at work, my family, everywhere, somehow they seem to have grasped the meaning of life, they go to work, they have friends, they come to church, and they are content. They have balanced their desire and their needs with the will of God. I wish I could to that too; my desire is to do the will of God, my need is to know him more, my hope is for a relationship with him, somehow though, I hang, unbalanced.

I know what I should do though; I have heard it said a million, no, billion, times. “Fast and pray”, “God’s time is the best”, “he is always there”, and my favorite, “he loves you, always, no matter what”. I believe all of that, I really do, otherwise I would have given up long ago. Actually, I confess, I have given up before but I came back. I came back and now, it hurts even more. It hurts because I can’t give up again, I read my bible and I see what the lord did for Abraham, for Isaac, for Jacob, for Job, for Daniel, for Esther, for David, For Ruth, For Elijah, for those three guys he saved from the furnace, for Jonah. I read the book of Lamentations and I know hope is all I have left, that hasn’t failed me. So I fast, and I pray, and I cry, oh how I sob, I go to church everyday of the week, I go for night vigils, I go for Christian concerts, I listen to Christian music, I have a song for every unfortunate situation, I am rich in Christ I tell myself, I have strength that God has given me, I am here today because of God’s grace. I dwell on the bible passages “ask and ye shall receive”, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you”, “Oh that you would bless me oh lord and increase my territory”, “Only by the grace of God are we saved”, need I continue?

I wish all that was wrong were just the physical things, the material things. If I didn’t get into the medical school of my choice, if I didn’t have a job, if I didn’t have a family, if I didn’t have money, or food to eat, or a room I can call home, if I didn’t have any of these, then I could join other people suffering and I could really then have faith that God’s plan is the best. But that’s not it. Mine is spiritual, or is it? I try to figure out a way to explain it, but I know, oh how I have learnt, that this, this can only be understood by God. I have gone to deliverance ministers to no avail. I ask the ever evasive question, Lord, why me? I would give everything up in a heartbeat, everything, my family, my job, medical school, my friends, anything you want God, anything. I made pledges, I even redeemed them, but my miracle, my testimonies, still yet to come. Was it too much to ask, how can it be? Who else can I turn to?

I know God uses trials to bring us closer to him, I welcome them. If the result of trials is a closer relationship with God, then why does it seem that my only option is to cop out? I have run out of prayers, I have run out of Shepard, my only request now is quite simple. It involves nothing, it requires nothing, and no one gets hurt, not even me.
I wake up every morning and go to bed at night with the same mustard seed faith. This mustard seed gives me faith just enough to hope and hope enough to hurt. Please save me... or not.
Hey there. You know..just recently I've been disqualified by law enforcement for a career. I don't know what I want to do..and I haven't been contented for long time. I don't have anything in this world beside my music studio. I wasted so much time doing nothing and I feel God failed me too. How am I so content about my situation, huh? I always wonder what I'm suppose to do with my life...still searching....

Hey, you should appreciate what GOd already given you in life...and your salvation.
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love others first.
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  #9  
Old 8th June 2007, 05:25 PM
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I think you'll find, when you look around and everyone seems to have it so together, that you are just not aware of their struggles. Everyone struggles - each one of us has struggles going on. You just might not see it.

I'm working in the church doing counselling and believe me, I see clients coming in from outside who box me as 'having it all together'. I'm working in a church, I'm giving out to others and helping them through stuff, I'm on the worship team ... I know how it might look to those who don't know where I've come from and who don't know me well. Let me assure you, those in leadership positions struggle and don't feel like they have it all together in spite of appearances!

In a way, I do understand where you are coming from. I was there for many years where I wanted to have the faith I saw others around me having. But as willing as I was, I just couldn't seem to have that faith. I know now that one thing I was lacking was the ability to surrender. Once I learned that, I realised that I was actually keeping God at a 'safe' distance ... not really letting him in, only as far as I felt was comfortable for me. Maybe ask him to show you where the barriers are?
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Old 8th June 2007, 05:38 PM
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Stop looking at people and wishing you had what they had. Leave all of your sins and turn your heart to the Lord. Have faith. Don't say God failed you, He doesn't fail us. Put all of your trust into the Lord Our God. By saying that God doesn't answer your prayers or He doesn't do what He says or anything like that, that just shows that you don't have faith. Never give up. If you have faith and you do not doubt in your heart, you will have the things that you ask for. (Mark 11:22-24)
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