Oh my gosh. This is serious.........

Quiet Storm · #1 3rd September 2003, 07:21 PM

I have no idea how odd this may sound, but I think I'm getting completely terrified of progress. Here I am in the library doing an assignment that requires VERY thorough research. I have all the desire in the world to do my best in everything, but the more and more I read, the more and more I begin to have panic attacks. I don't know if they're genuine panic attacks because there's such a thing and I use the term loosely. But my throat begins to "contract", I have to work hard at breathing, my chest tenses up........this is getting serious. And the thing is I know that when I really buckle down and study like I want to and should, my knowledge begins to skyrocket, and.....truth be told, I'm just horrified at the thought of getting smarter. I don't know if I think I'll become arroagant or if I think that I'll be an outcast because I'm different or what, but this can't be normal. I hate to miss class tomorrow, but I'm thinking of going to the student health center to get myself checked out. Has anyone experienced this?

* kittie * · #2 3rd September 2003, 08:35 PM

i don't know.

but that happened to me a lot last semester, and it's starting to happen again. but to me, i think it's cause i'm worried that SOMETHING (anything) will happen. not sure what i'm afraid about, but...it's scary.

i think they're panic attacks. i'm not sure, because i've never been to the doctor for it. but they feel so horrible, they must be something more than just "worrying". maybe you should get it checked out. or maybe someone here knows more about this. but i'm sorry that you've been experiencing that.

TheOriginalWhitehorse · #3 3rd September 2003, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by Quiet Storm

I have no idea how odd this may sound, but I think I'm getting completely terrified of progress. Here I am in the library doing an assignment that requires VERY thorough research. I have all the desire in the world to do my best in everything, but the more and more I read, the more and more I begin to have panic attacks. I don't know if they're genuine panic attacks because there's such a thing and I use the term loosely. But my throat begins to "contract", I have to work hard at breathing, my chest tenses up........this is getting serious. And the thing is I know that when I really buckle down and study like I want to and should, my knowledge begins to skyrocket, and.....truth be told, I'm just horrified at the thought of getting smarter. I don't know if I think I'll become arroagant or if I think that I'll be an outcast because I'm different or what, but this can't be normal. I hate to miss class tomorrow, but I'm thinking of going to the student health center to get myself checked out. Has anyone experienced this?

Actually, it is normal. It happens all the time to people in college. With each accomplishment, you're moving another step away from the home you've lived in since your birth, along with all the security that implies, to make your own home. That is a huge life change. But everyone goes through it, and you'll be fine, even though it doesn't feel very fine right now. But it never hurts to talk it out with a campus counselor.

* kittie * · #4 3rd September 2003, 10:55 PM

are you doing okay now?

Inspired · #5 4th September 2003, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by Quiet Storm

I have no idea how odd this may sound, but I think I'm getting completely terrified of progress. Here I am in the library doing an assignment that requires VERY thorough research. I have all the desire in the world to do my best in everything, but the more and more I read, the more and more I begin to have panic attacks. I don't know if they're genuine panic attacks because there's such a thing and I use the term loosely. But my throat begins to "contract", I have to work hard at breathing, my chest tenses up........this is getting serious. And the thing is I know that when I really buckle down and study like I want to and should, my knowledge begins to skyrocket, and.....truth be told, I'm just horrified at the thought of getting smarter. I don't know if I think I'll become arroagant or if I think that I'll be an outcast because I'm different or what, but this can't be normal. I hate to miss class tomorrow, but I'm thinking of going to the student health center to get myself checked out. Has anyone experienced this?

I used to, right before exam time. I finally realized that there was only so much I could do on my part, I studied the best I could, took a deep breath, and let go. When he said give it all to him, he meant all, even homework, just let go.

Stanfi · #6 4th September 2003, 10:31 AM

Yes, you are having genuine panick attacks. Not much fun. I know the feeling. Pray and ask God to help. Go to the doctor. I've had some Xanax on hand for about 3 years now to help in "emergency" situations. No, I am not someone who believes everyone should be on pills. However, there is help out there, and if we need it, we should get it. There is no sense in suffering when a problem that can be treated.

Mr.Cheese · #7 4th September 2003, 10:49 AM

God commanded us to love him with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. "Mind" tells me I need to use it to the best of my ability, this includes learning. So I see it as you're being obedient.

wblastyn · #8 4th September 2003, 10:58 PM

You shouldn't be ashamed of being smart, consider it a gift from God and use it to the best of your ability.

SheHummsHymns · #9 5th September 2003, 04:49 AM

Generalized Anxiety Disorder, perhaps?

wblastyn · #10 6th September 2003, 08:28 PM

This may sound strange but I had what I think was a panic attack while playing a video game on my Gamecube.

See the game I was playing is called The Legend of Zelda:Ocarina of Time, it was first realised on the N64 and when I first got it I was being bullied heavily in school by this one particular person in my class. I have social anxiety disorder and every time this bully even looked at me I felt my chest tighten, breathing went funny, etc. I also used to talk about OOT to people who I considered friends back then in the same class.

So when I was playing this game years later in my Gamecube, the music, characters, etc brought back all these memories and feeling I used to have when I was being bullied. My stomach churned, chest tightened, etc. I had to stop playing because I couldn't take it any more.