What is my deal?

I don't understand what the heck my problem is. I mean, I know I defintely have these issues that I am not able to work out on my own, and I know I need to see someone to get the help I need (I hope they could help anyways) but I just sit here and cannot seem to make myself get any farther. You'd think I'd be really motivated, and I do want to get these things out of my life. Maybe its just part of me feels its an unobtainable dream or something and it will never happen. I don't know, but I have tried to talk to my dad about it on two seperate occasions, but he's good at dogging the issue and doesn't feel I need anything like that. I figure I should just take matters in my own hands, but I just don't have the gusto to start. Ugh! I can't stand myself!

You're being too hard on yourself.

Jesus said, "What person can make himself bigger by fretting over things?"

Relax a little and let it come naturally. Take it easy on yourself and you won't seem so bad. Do onto yourself as you would do to others and give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

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Carry only love. Hate is a burden that is tremendously heavy.

If you want to live like Jesus, love your enemies and give up your life for them.

If its a matter of getting up and doing something you are procrastinating. If your father is dodgy you need to corner him or get someone else's help.

Galadriel, do you have a friend or family member, or even a church member you can trust to get you motivated to see a counselor? My depression got so bad a few months ago, I was in pretty much the same place as you, but my parents saw me staying in my apartment and sleeping alot, not hanging out with friends or family, and my mom called my therapist, made an appointment, and took me. I know, sad for a 31 year old, but I was really bad off. I'm blessed that I have parents like that.
My point is, it might help if you have an accountability partner, someone you can trust who will make sure you get to a counselor and make contact with you daily, either by phone or in person, to see how you are and make sure you are on track. For me, it was my mom and sis-in-law. It was kind of cool, actually. My SIL wanted to stop binge eating, and I needed to get myself to the doctor and take meds and get better. So our daily calls weren't just about my accountability, but hers as well, and we would pray for and encourage each other.
You're in my prayers, Galadriel !
I have all confidence in God that you will get through this hard time in your life.

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You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

~Gandhi

Hey guys and Cherberry!
Thank you for the replies. I agree Cherberry that that may help me, sometimes I think we need the push of another person to get us started sometimes. I don't seem to be able to rely on my family, my mom is living away and she has enough mental troubles of her own that I try and help her through, so I don't think she would understand. I was thinking maybe asking this Bible group chaplain that I just met last thurs. at my first College Bible Fellowship meeting. He seems to have lots of connections, and maybe he could lead me to a good Christian counselor? He's the only one I could think of really.

Hang in there sis.
*hug*
Keep fighting. That's the trick.

Dodgy has an entirely diiferent meaning over here! Do you mean dodging?

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"If you blow on a spark, it will glow; if you spit on it, it will be put out; yet both come out of your mouth " ~ Sirach 28:12