I need to talk to a Jew or former Jew about the loss of a child

I hope I am doing this right...

Anyway, I am a Christian but have a Jewish friend that lives in Israel that I know through the net. We chat on IM and get on the same parent board too.

Well just last week her four yr old son was killed in a freak accident type of thing. A wooden swing, like a porch swing from what I gather, fell and he was apparently under it. He died right away. She has six other children...they were all visiting some friends on holiday when this happened.

I am really struggling with how to commicate my feelings towards her without offending her. I know its their reglious custom to bury the dead on the same day of the death, (boy would I have a horrible time with that!) and I know when they type God, they type G-d ommitting the o...and this is done out of respect...

In times like this I am so used to writing or sending cards that involve God and reaching out to Him for comfort....which I did post a prayer for her on the parent board. Well now I have the chance to write to her and send her a card...have no idea how long it will take to reach her...

Instead of rushing to send something to her, since I did express my feelings to her already...I wanted to send her a letter and card but I just don't know how to do this without possible causing her more upset. She used to live in the US...I think she was born here but not sure...it was later that her Jewish husband and her decided to move to Israel...he has family there too.

So what I would like help with is how does a Jewish person see death in a reglious viewpoint? What should I avoid saying that could end up causing her more grief? And what should I say?

Any suggestions would be greatly appeicated.

God bless
whitestar

whitestar,

I'm not Jewish, but while reading your post, I had a thought of something that might help. Maybe you could make a donation to a childrens hospital, as a memorial in honor of her son.

It's very sad about the little boy; I'll say a prayer for him.

__________________

'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be Your Name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one'
Amen

In the Name of the Father, The Son, the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Ok thanks, yes that is an idea...I wanted to write her a note too though, just want to be careful about what I say is all.

God bless
whitestar

Is your Jewish friend a believer? In G-d or Y-shua? Or is she secular as many Israeli's are? What do you know of her beliefs?

__________________
And of Asher he said,
Let Asher be blessed with children;
Let him be acceptable to his brethren,
and let him dip his foot in oil.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

She is an ordoth Jew..sorry, probably spelled that wrong. She believes in God...they follow all the Jewish traditions and holidays. Most of the people there and even their jobs are centered around having the Sabbath from Friday to Saturday...so there workweek starts on Sunday and their weekend, so to speak, is Friday and Saturday. She does a bunch of cooking ahead of time before the Sabbath so she doesn't have to cook on the Sabbath. Her and her family are pretty stick in following these beliefs.

One time I was telling her about a Christian who had a dream about the middle east and God...and she said they didn't believe in God like that...didn't believe He commincated with people like this (through dreams or really any other way) that He was very impersonal. That made me feel sad that they woship and believe in a God they really have no relationship with...just ritals...I didn't even know how to respond to that.

But anyway that is off topic..just kind of trying to give an idea of what her beliefs are so I can respond the right way to the loss of her child.

Thanks.

God bless
whitestar

hi,
one thing i do know is this as an orthodox jewish believer
Many jews but yet not many- pray to G-D with a power- as if HaShem (G-D) were right there- they reach out to G-D and they do not go through the rituals.
I will not speak against your friend in any manner for that would be lashon horah(evil speach)
However, she does need to know that HaShem is a very personal G-D who cares deeply for her.

If you can give her some scriptures that deal with comfort- and if you want or need- bring those scriptures to this board first and i will give it to you in the hebrew.

Just let her know that you are there with her.

shalom u'bracha
Antonio-AntotiYah

That would be neat to have then in Herbew...is anything from the OT ok? thanks.

God bless
whitestar

sure

__________________
ONE HASHEM who is ADONAI- ONE MESSIAH- ONE Breath- ONE TORAH(oral and written), ONE MASORAH {"gospel"},ONE BODY. IT IS from ALEF to TAV, THE EMETH/TRUTH, { ALEF-MEM-TAV} (ALEF to TAV) -completion.
"OBEY YE THE PHARISEES and SOFRIM for they have been given the only right and authoriy to Interpret Torah (written and Oral) just do not do as the "colored" Hachamim and the "colored" pharisees- for they say one thing and do another."
MAT 23:1-3

JUDAISM is the way to the DOOR to HASHEM

Whitestar, you might want to start with some very personal ones like ( if Sojeru approves)

http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0.htm

Psalms 94

14 For the LORD will not cast off His people, neither will He forsake His inheritance.
15 For right shall return unto justice, and all the upright in heart shall follow it.

יד כִּי, לֹא-יִטֹּשׁ יְהוָה עַמּוֹ; וְנַחֲלָתוֹ, לֹא יַעֲזֹב.

טו כִּי-עַד-צֶדֶק, יָשׁוּב מִשְׁפָּט; וְאַחֲרָיו, כָּל-יִשְׁרֵי-לֵב.

17 Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had soon dwelt in silence.
18 If I say: 'My foot slippeth', Thy mercy, O LORD, holdeth me up.
19 When my cares are many within me, Thy comforts delight my soul.

You can go here for the Hebrew Bible: http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0.htm

Also maybe Psalms 116 may be poignant, especially the 15th verse. But if you ask her to read from this Psalm or better yet send to her the whole verse she ( pray for this) may see Messiah there, for in verse 13 it says

I will lift up the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.

יג כּוֹס-יְשׁוּעוֹת אֶשָּׂא; וּבְשֵׁם יְהוָה אֶקְרָא

__________________
And of Asher he said,
Let Asher be blessed with children;
Let him be acceptable to his brethren,
and let him dip his foot in oil.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

this is tov

__________________
ONE HASHEM who is ADONAI- ONE MESSIAH- ONE Breath- ONE TORAH(oral and written), ONE MASORAH {"gospel"},ONE BODY. IT IS from ALEF to TAV, THE EMETH/TRUTH, { ALEF-MEM-TAV} (ALEF to TAV) -completion.
"OBEY YE THE PHARISEES and SOFRIM for they have been given the only right and authoriy to Interpret Torah (written and Oral) just do not do as the "colored" Hachamim and the "colored" pharisees- for they say one thing and do another."
MAT 23:1-3

JUDAISM is the way to the DOOR to HASHEM