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  #1  
Unread 22nd August 2003, 08:56 PM
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Love Should i marry a Divorced woman

I met a woman who is 22. she is wonderful we have so much in common, but she is divorce. she divorced her husband because he would beat her, rape her and drink all the time. She became a Christian in the last year. I also am a rededicated Christian in the last year. she says she has a hard time forgetting about her past. Her and I were hooked on drugs and drank. I kept her alive because her family lives in Norway, she moved to Canada when she married her ex husband we used to party I loved her but lost contact with her two years ago, In may this year I was praying that I would hear from her again. A week later I received a letter in the mail she was back in Norway living with her family I just visited her in Norway and we might get married some day. My question is should I marry a divorced woman who I know has lots of issues from her past life? I've known her for a long time and talk to her every other day I love her very much.
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  #2  
Unread 22nd August 2003, 09:07 PM
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well, the Bible says that God doesnt like divroce if its just cus the two people dont want to be together anymore. But i think it says somewhere, i think now i'm not sure you may want to check, but i think it says somewhere that its ok if one partner has been unfaithful....and i think that beating her and raping her is being unfaithful. So i say its ok, but i wouldnt just go on my opinion...wait until others answer first.
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  #3  
Unread 22nd August 2003, 09:09 PM
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Dude that is heavy man. I would have to say that if she is a different person now then, yes, at some point it would be ok to marry her divorced or not. The past is just that the past, and that is where it needs to stay if you two plan of persuing a future together, you know what happened and so does she if she carries that around with her and can not let it go, then i would advise you to be cautious, i know that kind of woman it catches up to them at some point. I would say your prayer was answered but that doesnt mean dive in and run with it you are 22 and got a life to live as well, babysteps, do this the right way with God in mind and the center of and trust me bro it will all come together. Make sure what you are feeling is real love, it seems so good at first but dont let your heart and mouth write a check you cant cash, one day at a time one step at a time, friends first. Then see where it lead, good luck my man.

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Last edited by Warrior Poet; 22nd August 2003 at 09:16 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 23rd August 2003, 07:34 PM
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If God still considers her married to her first husband you both would be sinning every time you made love. That and the practical problems from the baggage of her past would deter me from marrying her. But you mentioned you love her so you have to factor that into your decision. Have you asked God about this?
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  #5  
Unread 23rd August 2003, 07:49 PM
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I think the biggest thing you will have to deal with is scars from her first marriage. My first marriage was brutal, and I was victimized in many ways as well. I know that my new husband would never hurt me physically, it has been a difficult transition. When he would get mad or if I did something wrong I would be very afraid to talk to him because before I risked harm to do so.

I also think you have plenty of time to get it sorted out because really you only just got together and you both need time to grow together before you make a marrriage. And she definitely needs some healing time.

As far as what God thinks about marrying a divorced person, you will have to talk to God about that. He will make His wishes known. He did for me and I am blessed beyond belief with my second husband.
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  #6  
Unread 27th August 2003, 05:21 AM
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Here is what Jesus had to say on the subject:

(From the Sermon on the Mount)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." Matthew 5:32

(Speaking to the Pharisees)
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 19:9

(Speaking to the disciples, after speaking to the Pharisees)
"And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." Mark 10:11-12

(Speaking to the Pharisees)
"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." Luke 16:18
I am also pondering the same question regarding a divorced friend of mine. By prayerfully considering what Christ has said on the topic and the context in which He is speaking, I think we can both come up with the wisest decision possible. In doing so, we keep Christ first in the relationship, whatever the result is...marriage, continued friendship, or even a parting of the ways.
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  #7  
Unread 3rd September 2003, 06:19 PM
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In addressing the question of divorce to the Pharisees in Matthew 19, Jesus is addressing Deuteronomy 24 which Moses wrote pertaining to the Israelites, which permitted divorce and remarriage:

"1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
...
5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken."


The Pharisees had asked "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" Jesus tells them "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

So, the "uncleaness" that is referred to in Deut 24:1 is limited to fornication, from the statement made by Jesus, not "every cause" as the Pharisees had contended.

The woman at the well, who had 5 former husbands (John Chapter 4) was apparently permitted divorce and remarriage 5 times by the laws of the Samaritans. Jesus revealed Himself to this woman, and she believed.

The Samaritans were a mixed race descended from the 10 lost northern tribes of Israel who had intermarried with other peoples during their captivity. The Jews typically looked down on the Samaritans, and at one point, the Jews even accused Jesus of being one (John 8:48). Even the disciples marvelled that Jesus would talk to a Samaritan woman (John 4:27). The Samaritans were generally more receptive to Jesus and the gospel message than were the Jews, whose leaders generally rejected Him. Samaritans were among the earliest Christians. On the other hand, the Pharisees were always trying to trap Jesus and Jesus could see through their legalistic hypocrisy.

After she believed, we don't know if the woman at the well remarried again, or remained unmarried, by the laws of the Samaritans, but this should not have had any impact on her salvation.
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Last edited by Donny_B; 3rd September 2003 at 08:37 PM.
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  #8  
Unread 4th September 2003, 05:18 PM
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ok her ex-husband sounds horrible. Im sure in somewhere in there he committed adultry. If, by chance, he did commit adultry it is ok to divorce and remarry.

This is a pretty sticky situation though, i would be praying a lot and asking elders in your church for advice. I pray that it all works out for you.
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