Testimony Time

Hi everyone.

HALLELUJAH this thread is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing.

Praise god!
He really IS good. Thank you for sharing - I'm looking forward to more.

Not enough churches today have a testimony night, I think something is lost in this. Our testimony is so powerful encouraging ourselves and others in time of need.

"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in HEALTH, just as your soul prospers."
III John 2

www.power3diet.com

Some of these things are very tough to say, and I am not revealing every detail. But I think that in order to truly give my testimony, I have to say some things that are very touchy. But I know that I am not the only person in the world, and likely not the only person on CF, who has had these experiences. So as hard as some of these things might be to disclose to others, I think that others can benefit from seeing someone else in their shoes. So you may or may not want to read this.

I used to think that my childhood was more or less normal/good. I have a brother and a sister who are close to my age. My parents never divorced. We went to church every week. I was involved in various activities. I got decent grades. I played the piano and sax. I dated a few girls. My parents didn't hit me (I was spanked, but I'm referring to abusive hitting). But there were other factors in my childhood that bring things out of the normal category (at least I hope that it's not normal).

I saw my first pornographic magazine when I was about 5. I was next door with a kid who was a few years older than I was, and he had one of his dad's porns. I didn't have a huge notion of my sexuality at the time, but I at least knew that boys and girls were different and that boys are supposed to like girls for some reason.

As for this next part, I really have no idea how it started. But at some point in time around that same time (it might have been a little before... it might have been a little after), all the kids in my family (my brother, sister, and I, as well as my two cousins on my mom's side) were involved sexually with each other. Never any actual sex, but a lot of touchy-feely stuff. And that lasted for multiple years. I have no memory of ever being molested by an adult. I really don't know for absoulte sure if any of us were. But little kids don't just think up that kind of stuff on their own. Kids with no real concept of sexuality don't just start being sexual like that. I think that it is very possible (and I'd go so far as to say likely) that my sister, who is two years older than I am, was molested, and probably by more than one person. And because of this being in some of my extended family (my cousins being involved), I think that someone may have done something to some of the rest of us. I have some ideas, but absolutely no evidence.

This went on for some years, up till my early teens (maybe 13 years old). In addition to that, I was heavily immersed in pornography. I also don't really remember a time in my life when there wasn't masturbation. I remember being, say, 4, and that not being there. But not after that. Most people that I've talked to didn't discover that till their teens. But that was part of my life since at least kindergarten. So from the time I was about 5 or 6 till just a couple years ago, pornography was an integral part of my life. I won't get into details about this, but there was some pretty deviant stuff that I would watch/look at.

Warped sexuality consumed my almost every thought for years. I couldn't look at someone without picturing that person naked. I would normally imagine that person involved in some kind of sexual activity. It got to the point that I didn't even need to try to imagine things. It was just what my mind did. It's sort of like turning your water hose on and putting it on the ground where there is no grass. If you let it go, it will eventually carve out a path. If you go the extra step and carve out a small path first, a lot of water will take that path. Eventually there is a pretty good channel cut out and the water just goest that way without having to do anything. Then if you try to get the water to go another way, it already has that established path to travel down.

Not only did I train my mind to act a certain way, but multiple doors were opened for spiritual attack. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was just continuously inviting evil spirits to make their home in my mind. I've always been a person of the mind. I've always loved to learn. I've always loved knowing accurate facts. I've always been very logical. I've always been someone who sits and ponders things for hours on end. Although I acted on some of my imaginations, by and large I kept it to myself. I kept it all in my own mind.

Slowly but surely, I began to lose the ability to control what was going on in my mind. Even when it came to non-sexual thoughts, I could often not control what images were in my mind. As a hypothetical example, let's say that I invisioned a Jack-In-The-Box, with the "jack" out of the box attatched to his spring. Then in my mind I wanted to put the jack back in the box. I'd try to imagine him going back in the box, but I was not able to. I'd put him in, then he'd automatically spring back out. Or else there'd be something keeping him outside the box. And if Jack decided he wanted to start spinning in circles, I couldn't make him stop, even though it was just a picture in my mind. Mind you, I don't think that's ever actually been something in my mind, but you get the idea. I had a whole world of thoughts and imaginations that were by and large outside of my ability to control.

When I was very young (maybe around 1), my dad cheated on my mom and they almost got divorced. He convinced her to keep him around, but things never healed. I don't blame my mom for being bitter towards him, and I am definitely not saying how wrong she was, but she was just never able to really forgive him. But growing up, I never knew any of this. All I knew was that my mom was a bitter woman, always angry and cold, and that my dad was the fun one. Later on in my life, I grew to be pretty averse to women in general. Just the sound of a woman's voice for too long of a time would get me on edge. I eventually grew out of that, knowing more facts about my parents' relationship and knowing that there is nothing wrong with a person being a woman.

And due to all that, I can't remember too many nights when my parents were screaming at each other, and I couldn't sleep for several hours until they stopped or I just got too tired to stay awake. It wasn't just my mom or my dad being angry or starting something. Both of them would do things to keep it going. I remember just wanting to go out of my room and kill them both to make them shut up so there would be peace in the house and so we could sleep.

When it came to my relationship with God (if I even had one), I always wanted to learn more about the Bible and to learn more about God. I would read through the Bible, read theological books, watch preachers on TV, etc. So over time I accumulated a lot of facts about "theology". I wanted to be "correct" about things. Eventually I discovered the Catholic Church. After about a year of looking at them, I decided that I wanted to join them. But I waited until after I left home to pursue it, since I didn't want there to be confrontation about it (I always tried to avoid confrontation). Then when my parents were going to come and visit me, I stopped attending Mass and found a nice Presbyterian church to attend. I kept that up for a few years. I decided that the RCC wasn't the place for me. Then after a few years I changed my mind again. About 10 months later, after some more searching into things, I decided to join the Eastern Orthodox Church. I was chrismated into the EOC and spent about 2 years there total, until I met my wife. This was all in order to be the most correct that I could be.

Now, I've always had a conscience, and I've always known what was right and wrong. And I wanted to not sin, but my desire to sin usually outweighed my desire not to sin.

I met my wife, and we were married 6 weeks later. Two months after that we conceived our daughter, who was born this past September. We met in September of 06 and were married October 27th. She was evagelical, and one of those "word of faith" people. And although she didn't like everything about the EOC, she was willing, for a time, to join it so we could attend a church together and take communion together. That didn't last that long. She eventually got to the point that she couldn't stand going any more, but I was convinced that that was "the fulness of the church" and what not. It got pretty heated, and we almost divorced that night. Her mom came over as well. She definitely has the gift of prophecy. Even when I was in the EOC and thought that God only really moved there, I recognized that gift in her. She told me things that night that she couldn't have possibly known without me telling her (which I didn't), and I became convinced that the EOC really wasn't where it's at.

Keep in mind that the reason why I joined the EOC made a lot of sense in my mind, and those reasons still made sense even at that point. Up till that point I was unfamiliar with the concept of "deliverance". Through them God delivered me from a lot of things. But not too long after that they were back. I began to wonder if God even existed. For a few weeks I wasn't sure if there was even a God who was hearing my prayers. All I could pray was "God, if you're there, I want to believe in you. If you're there, give me some faith". He did. I got out of that hole, believing that God exists.

During the course of my marriage, I was not honest with my wife concerning a lot of struggles I had been having. At the time we got married, it had been about a year since I looked at a porn. By God's grace I have kept that trend. But the effects of a life time of porn viewing had made a very deep etch in my mind. Actually, a whole lot of deep etches. I couldn't have sex without imagining that she was someone else. Not because she wasn't enough for me, but my mind just automatically went that route. After a little while, I was able to force my mind to not actively engage in that, but images of other people constantly plagued my mind. She would ask me if I struggled with these things, and I would say that I didn't. I can't get much, if anything, past her. She knew that something was up.

Being on a submarine, although I wouldn't actually get skin-to-skin with men, there were things that went on. Whether exposing ourselves, or touching through clothes, or whatever. There were even games of "chicken" that involved kissing if neither person would chicken out. That happened once after I got married, but several times before. Although at the time I considered things as "acting like men on a submarine", most of that in all reality constituted cheating. Eventually all this came to the surface with my wife. Not just the things themselves, but lying about so many things. She thought that we had just the perfect marriage, while I was acting like someone else entirely when I was at work.

I've tried to control my thought life, but I just couldn't stop things from going into my head. I'd try to focus on other things, but my mind was just swamped with images. Even though I had stopped actively trying to imagine other women, I just couldn't get things out of my head.

There was a lot of dramatic events in the past month. It got to the point that she was about to leave, take the kid with her, and make sure that I never knew where they were for the rest of my life. Although she never walked out, that would happen day after day. Eventually it was brought to my attention that I was not even saved. Now, my mother-in-law, who has the gift of prophecy and words of knowledge, doesn't say "God said" very lightly. And when she does it is evident that God is actually telling her something. My life was crumbling under my feet, and I was begging God to help me. After she told me that, all I could do was beg Him even more.

Later on that night (this was May 3rd), things got really heated, and the subject of my lack of salvation came up. Although my wife (and mother-in-law) strongly disliked me at that point, neither of them wanted me in hell. So we prayed together, and I received Christ into my heart that night. The whole time we were praying I couldn't stop crying. And it was so much of an emotional cry. Just as soon as I started praying the crying came on. And after we were done I couldn't stop for a good 10 minutes.

It got a LITTLE better for my wife and me after that. The next day we went out to lunch with a friend who, although he had moved to Texas, just "happened" to be in town that day. He brought some friends from his church (the one in our area that he used to be part of). It just so "happened" that two of them had a deliverance ministry. Later on that night, things got heated between my wife and me again (keep in mind that she has a LOT of pain and scarring from my actions and lies). We called those people up for help, and they agreed to see us. That night we talked and prayed for several hours. We talked a lot about both of our pasts. Many soul ties were broken. Many sins were acknowledged. Many spirits were addressed and rebuked/cast out. We were pretty thorough.

Since that night my mind has changed drastically. Although many of the images would still come to my mind, God not only delivered me of the spirits, but He began the healing process. Each day my mind has gotten stronger and stronger. I have gotten more and more control over what happens in my mind. I cannot say that I am 100% better. But compared to just the other week, I'd say it's about 85-90% better. I used to try to imagine what it would be like to not constantly have sexual images in my mind. And truthfully, I couldn't imagine it. I didn't know if it would be possible. But it's been so refreshing. Especially the last few days. It's so wonderful to be able to actually choose a thought and have that in my head. It's so wonderful to know that something is coming and be able to keep it from becoming a thought or image.

Each day God gives my mind more and more strength, and the healing keeps on continuing. God has given me the ability to truly believe and trust Him. He has delivered my mind from the bondage it was under. He has showered blessings upon me. He is always showing His goodness in ways that I could never have imagined.

My wife is healing as well. I have hurt her a lot. She has forgiven me, but there is still pain. But God is so much bigger than anything we might be facing!

Thank you, Jesus, for taking upon yourself the curse of our sins, so that we might be delivered from its bondage.

There are probably some details that I have left out, but that's the gist of it.

If I've said anything inappropriate, please let me know first so that I can fix it and we can deal with it without the report button. Thank you.

My Testimony
I was born August 21, 1962 in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. When I was born I didn't breath for over 5 minutes and almost died. Doctors told my parents because I didn't breath for so long I could be severely brain damaged, but to their amazement I lived and for the most part I am normal. Although my parents argue that to this day...lol...Sortly after I was born we move to a town called Pekin, Illinois where me and my one older sister were pretty much raised. My parents were both from Arkansas orginally and they were raised old fashioned and taught to believe in God. Although in their time of raising they didn't attend church much because all their time was in the cotton fields making a living. They were and are loving parents and they instilled in me and my sister, Godly love and morals. We tried to make it to church when I was little but as we grew up church was not a part of our life.

In my younger years I was always beat on in school and made fun of because I was a slow learner and had emotional troubles. I now know it was due to Bi Polar Disorder that went undiagnoised until age 40. But the beatings and ridicule impacted my life deeply and caused me to be very insecure in my self and that in turn lowered my self esteem. As I grew into my teen years all I wanted was acceptance so I started hanging around the very people that were beating me and making fun of me. Needless to say I started doing what they were doing, so it wasn't long before I got in drugs, smoking, and drinking. I wasn't really a trouble maker but I was caught up in the partying lifestyle and began to rebell against my parents. They didn't know what to do with me. I was growing wild and failing in school. So they did the only thing they could.Pray. And it must have worked.

At age 18 I began searching for the Lord but it seemed like nothing really changed. I had asked Him into my life many times but I didn't understand the concept of faith. I am sure the Lord came into my life then but at the time I didn't know it or believe it. And soon I was back into the partying again. Things seemed to be going well for me though. I had a good paying job as a painter. Had just bought my first new car and was getting ready to move out on my own. I thought I had it made, but boy was I wrong. Things started going bad in 1986. The recession was just starting to hit. Dad had gotten laid of in March and I was about to get blindsided on my own job. But that wasn't all, the family was about to get hit hard emotionally.

In August of 86 we got a call from my mom's relatives in Ark and they had some bad news. One of my mom's sister's had found out she had lung cancer and it was in the late stages. Needless to say it upset all of us. She was mom's favorite sister's and was my favorite aunt. A few days after that call I found out things at work weren't good and they were talking major layoffs. Then in September the day came and with our paychecks many of us got lay off notices. All of a sudden I found myself in major debt and had to file bankruptcy and lost everything I had been building up. Basically over the next few weeks my whole world came tumbling down and I found myself in emotional distress as well. Then one night in late November we got another call from Arkansas. My aunt was in the hospital and she wasn't expected to make it through the night.

I remember that night very well. It was about midnight when we got the call and immediately we pooled our money together, packed our bags and began loading the car. It was a clear, crisp, cool night and all the stars were shining brightly. And as I was loading the car I looked up into the night sky to look at the stars, but one in paticular caught my eye because it was shining brighter than all the others. A chill went over me and I knew I was looking at the North Star. Automatically I started thinking about the birth of our Lord and Saviour. Well we got the car loaded and headed out about 1 in the morning. I was sitting in the back seat and it didn't seem to matter what direction we were going in, that star seemed to be following me and staying in my view. So for the whole trip down my mind constantly kept replaying the story of Christ birth. The stable, the manager, the animals, the wise men and kings following the Star, and the gifts they brought to the babe and Messiah.

We drove straight through and went directly to the hospital hoping my aunt was still alive and to our surprise she was. As we walked into the small country hospital we immediately heard someone breathing from somewhere in the hospital, and with each breath you didn't know if another would follow. I knew that was my aunt and didn't even stop at the nurse station to ask where she was. I just followed that sound of breathing down the hall. I got to the door and sure enough it was my aunt. I was unnerved to say the least. I had been around death before but never like this. Never had I heard such anguish and suffering in someones breathing. Mom and Dad finally caught up with me and slowly we opened the door and walked in. My aunt was awake and immediately recognized us. We all gave her a hug and then I went and just stood at the foot of her bed. I couldn't talk to her though, I simply didn't know what to say. She knew seeing her this way disturbed me but she never said anything either. But she would just look at me with eyes of compassion. I saw something in her that went much deeper than the pain she was feeling and I was curious as to what it was I was seeing.

She hung in there and fought for two weeks after we got there. And during those two weeks I saw so much in her that I did not understand or comprehend. For instantce, she never once complained about her condition but seemed to accept it and at times almost seemed to embrace it. She wasn't afraid of dying and that totally bewildered me. I was asking myself what gives her such peace in this? If I were in her place I would have been terrified and angry too, but not her. I recall one night when her husband had a light heart attack in the lobby and since the other bed in my aunt's room was empty the nurses took him in and laid him in the bed next to her and pulled the curtains about half way as to not upset my aunt. Now at this point my aunt had not been able to find the strength to sit up in bed by herself. My uncle had a history of heart problems so my aunt knew what was going on when they brought him into the room and to my amazement somewhere she found the strength to pull herself up to a sitting postion and she pulled the curtain back to make sure he was ok. This blew me away! Where did she find the strength to do that and how can she show such love and concern when she is on her death bed? I wasn't sure what she but whatever it was I wanted it! After seeing he was resting she laid back down and fell into acoma for about 2 days as I recall.

In the two days my aunt was in acoma I seen many of her fellow christians coming into pray for and on the the last day she was alive I felt a need to go pray with her as well. I wasn't sure what to pray for so I just prayed like everyone else, for God to heal her. After I prayed for her I turned and walked out of the room. But as I got halfway down the hall I heard a voice with authority say, "STOP!! That was a selfish prayer, go back and pray again!" I looked up and down the hall but no one was there and it dawned on me that I had just heard the voice of the Lord. So without hesitation I turned and went back in the room. My cousins were all there and they kind of gave me a funny look, but I paid them no heed. I was a man on a mission. I walked over beside my aunts bed, picked her hand up and held, and said these words: Lord, if you are going to heal my aunt then heal her and if you are going to take her home then take her. But one way or the other end her suffering now. I ask for your will to be done not only in her life but in mine as well. In your name I pray, Amen." Then I walked out of the room and went home with a cousin of mine to spend the night. We hadn't much more than got home when someone came knocking on the door, I looked at him and his and said, "it's your sister coming to tell she is gone." And sure enough it was.

We went back to the hospital immediately to be with the family that had gathered there and I wanted to go back and see my aunt one last time before the visitation and funeral so another cousin went back with me. When we went into the room her children were still there so I just went to the place I had been going along, the foot of her bed and just looked at her. But as I was looking at her all of a sudden in the twinkling of an eye I saw Jesus laying on that bed and not my aunt. I looked at my cousins but no one else seemed to notice it. Then I realized what the Lord was showing me. He was showing me He was the strength, the love, the courage I had seen in my aunt. After awhile me and the cousin that went with me (Marilyn) walked out of the room and headed back to the lobby. About halfway down the hall she grabbed my arm and stopped walking. Then she turned to face and said: "Rob, I don't know what the Lord is doing in your life but I know He is doing something because you are lite up with His glory." Then she said, "Always remember to walk by faith and not by sight because He will never lead you astray." It made me feel good that someone noticed God was doing something in me but to be honest I had no clue what it was that He was doing. I only knew He was stirring within me.

Then the night of my aunt's visitation me and another cousin stepped outside the funeral home to have a cigarette and he too was a christian. As we were talking he stopped in mid sentence and looked at me. Then he said:"Rob, you are light up like a christmas tree and I can see by your countance God is doing a major work in you. If you never remember anything remember this, always go by faith. He will never leave you or forsake you." Needless to say I was floored because it was almost word for word what Marilyn had told me. I was puzzled by this and asking God exactly what He was doing in my life and why it was so important to hear those words twice. I got an answer but not one I was expecting. And the answer I got blew me away.

The next day, Dec 10th, 1986 was my aunts funeral and it was emotionally very hard for me. I tried to hold my composure because I was a pallbearer. But I couldn't because God was breaking me at that time. One thing I was able to do was share a poem God had laid on my heart years earlier which was called HE IS:
He is the Father,
supreme and divine.
He is here and there,
and not just mine.
He is the Son,
so full of love.
He is so beautiful,
and pure as a dove.
He is the Spirit,
that light so bright.
He is the comforter,
in our darkest night.
He is the Almighty,
standing so tall.
He is always there,
so we'll never fall.

After the funeral we all gathered back at my uncles for fellowship and dinner. After we ate my aunt's mother in law called me to her side. I went over and knelt at the side of the rocking chair and she looked me sqaure in the eye and said: "Rob the glory of the Lord is all over you and I know He is becoming a reality in your life. He has many things in store for you but the most important thing I could ever tell you is to always trust and go by faith. He will lead you and guide each step you take." My mouth hit the floor, for the third time I had heard these words. That night we went back up the hill to my grandma's house where we had been staying and were planning on leaving the next morning. Now this is way back off the beaten path about 5 miles down an old dirt road so it was quiet and with no lights to interfer you can see every star in night sky. We pulled into her drive and parked and I told mom and dad I need some time. So I walked out to where the barns and old gray wooden sheds were and came to stop in front of what I would later find out was called the ole sheep shed and began to weep uncontrollably and started crying out and wailing before God. All of a sudden I felt a hand on top of my head pushing me gently yet forcefully to my knees. I didn't have to look around this time to see who was there, I knew it was the hand of God. And there on my knees with tears streaming down my face I asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart and life. After praying I praised Him for a long time. And when I finally opened my eyes I was looking straight above me and what was the first thing I saw? The North Star directly above me. Again I began to cry and slowly looked into the old sheep shed and in a vision from heaven I saw the animals, and the kings, and the wisemen, Mary and Joesph, and there in the manager the babe who was, is, and always shall be called the Messiah. At that moment I knew I had my own encounter with Christ and I had been born again. The reality of what I had been through had changed my life.
I am here to tell you Jesus Christ is a reality and He is waiting for you to come to your senses and accept Him as Lord and Saviour of your life. All you have to do is knell to your knees and cry out to Him to come into your heart and life. It's that simple, God so loved the world that He gave His only Son to die for us so that we might live the glorious life He desires us to live. If all that isn't enough to convince as we were leaving the next morning just before dawn I was looking out the front windshield and just above the tree line was the North Star once again. I knew my life would never be the same again. And neither will yours once you accept Him into your life.....God Bless You and I hope God will use my testimony to become a reality in your life.

Rushingwind (Rob)

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It happened quite a long time ago but I still remember it... Sometimes I get reminded how little I deserve to have known His care of me... I was sixteen years old at that time, one weekend evening I had toothache and the pain wouldn't go away although I tried a few things. It was late in the evening so I had to wait until the following morning to go to the dentist. I've decided to go to bed and try to get some sleep, so I was lying in my bed and praying to God about something else. A thought has probably crossed my mind so that at the end of the prayer i asked God if he could help me get asleep because of the pain in my mouth. I said "Amen" and something really amazing happen... I felt amazing warmth on the inside of my mouth, right at the area where my toothache was. The touch of warmth went on for no more than a second and ,with it, the pain was completely gone. Absolutely, perfectly cleaned and gone without any trace or even trace of the pain itself. What I remember even to this day is not only the healing but my first thought when it happened - I wasn't surprised at all, but one question popped into my mind right away - did God answer to me before or after I said "Amen"? I probably won't be able to explain this , but never before or after have I such an experience where the timing has been so granular and precise, almost out of this world. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Sometimes I see people around me, not knowing God and His goodness, keeping busy with stupid and useless things and I think - there's nothing that I've got on my own that have made me worth to be known by God, to have seen His power... Thank you Jesus!

I'll make it short and sweet.

I was a alcoholic and a drug addict. I had no future whatsoever.
Then Jesus came along and BAM! No more addiction, a wife and three wonderful kids a dog, cat and a house.
Oh yes, and He filled me with the Holy Ghost.
ISN'T JESUS WONDERFUL!

My only daughter was in an accident last Friday-riding a moped she was hit by a car. Winesses said it was as if "a hand" took her body-which flew 20 feet- and placed it into the marshy grass where she landed. She lost her helmet and shoes-moped is demoloished. Her body is unbroken, no stitches, no internal injuries, bruises which have healed.His mercies are new every day!! Miracles are real and happening every day if we open our eyes to them. God has opened my eyes and I pray that this testimony will be used for His glory!!!

woooohoooooo! Amazing testimony! Thank you God!! Your other link doesn't work btw. I had to come find this one to tell you thank you for sharing it.

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This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
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