Normally I couldnt care less about what someone thinks of me or what I consider important. If someone wants to be a tool about what I am then it really doesnt bother me...usually.
Lately something has.
My parents and I have a...rocky relationship. Ive ceased caring about what either of them think, feel, or say and the reaction seems to be mutual. But something is sticking with me.
My faith is important to me. Its a great deal of who I am, its something that adds a good deal of strength to my life and something that contributes towards making me happy.
Religion is also something that my parents really dont focus much on. My father is a stone-cold atheist and openly mocks faith and people thereof. The mother is non-religious.
Part of me wants to tell them that I am indeed Pagan (Allthough if they havent figgured it out by now we would probably have to have a whole other kind of talk) but I really dont think that either of them, either separately or together, would really understand or take it seriously. I mean its like finding this book that you just absolutely love and trying to share it with someone who doesnt read and hates books.
Would you really want to share something so personal with someone who you couldnt trust to take it seriously or be respectful?
I dont actively hide it, I just dont bring it up or give straight answers in regards to religion. Plus I keep my large library of books and materials hidden.
Annother part of it is I cant figgure out WHY I want to tell them or even why I want them to understand. We have a landlord/tennent relationship at best and we dont understand ANYTHING about each other. So even though I KNOW theres really no point...I want to and I cant really...figgure out why. Theres enough drama and tension in the house, the desire to add MORE feels a little twisted.
__________________
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Whenever I visit my parents, my father and I usually end up arguing about religion at some point. He can't let go of some of his neo-platonic/cartesian misconceptions and has been under the sway of Pascal's wager for too long - in my opinion. Still, I enjoy our discussions. It's far more interesting than to talk to somebody who share's my beliefs wholeheartedly and just nods all the time while I preach to the choir.
Maybe your relationship will improve once you've moved out into your own home? Things start to look differently once you've broken free from the parent-child relationship that grows exceedingly tedious as you approach adulthood. Mine sure did.
__________________ The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion, but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do. -- Samuel P. Huntington
Fundamentalism in a Nutshell:
"[Obama] focused on health care for everybody and living wages, mostly. No comment about abortion or sodomite "marriage" or anything else that actually matters." --MatthewEV, Rapture Ready
As a Muslim I think parents have all the right to be respected and treated well even if you differ with them as told by the Almighty God:
31:14. And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. 15. But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
This is going to sound like a stupid question. But in general, aren't atheists and the irreligious more favorable towards paganism than virtually any other religion? This has been my experience. And while no one knows your parents better than you, it doesn't seem to me as if they'd take it so badly.
__________________ Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. (John 3:18)
Normally I couldnt care less about what someone thinks of me or what I consider important. If someone wants to be a tool about what I am then it really doesnt bother me...usually.
Lately something has.
My parents and I have a...rocky relationship. Ive ceased caring about what either of them think, feel, or say and the reaction seems to be mutual. But something is sticking with me.
My faith is important to me. Its a great deal of who I am, its something that adds a good deal of strength to my life and something that contributes towards making me happy.
Religion is also something that my parents really dont focus much on. My father is a stone-cold atheist and openly mocks faith and people thereof. The mother is non-religious.
Part of me wants to tell them that I am indeed Pagan (Allthough if they havent figgured it out by now we would probably have to have a whole other kind of talk) but I really dont think that either of them, either separately or together, would really understand or take it seriously. I mean its like finding this book that you just absolutely love and trying to share it with someone who doesnt read and hates books.
Would you really want to share something so personal with someone who you couldnt trust to take it seriously or be respectful?
I dont actively hide it, I just dont bring it up or give straight answers in regards to religion. Plus I keep my large library of books and materials hidden.
Annother part of it is I cant figgure out WHY I want to tell them or even why I want them to understand. We have a landlord/tennent relationship at best and we dont understand ANYTHING about each other. So even though I KNOW theres really no point...I want to and I cant really...figgure out why. Theres enough drama and tension in the house, the desire to add MORE feels a little twisted.
you know, I can understand that you might hesitate to share something so person with your parents especially if they might mock it or mock you. It is hard to discuss something like this because not only are our beliefs sacred to us so are the relationships we have with our families and particularly our parents. I didn't have great parents. So there isn't much I share with them anymore anyway.
I think the point is you are 19 and you certainly don't need their permission yet if you would like to venture out and discuss it with them I would make sure you feel like you have enough respect for them to do it. If you have a sucky relationship with them I would not talk to them. It will fuel for the fire.
Maybe your relationship will improve once you've moved out into your own home?
I seriously doubt it. My mother and I have a relationship of mutual tolerance at best and I have a deep hatred of my father, I doubt thats going to change.
This is going to sound like a stupid question. But in general, aren't atheists and the irreligious more favorable towards paganism than virtually any other religion? This has been my experience. And while no one knows your parents better than you, it doesn't seem to me as if they'd take it so badly.
Probably because Paganism considers it rude to preach, but no my father is an equal opportunity heckler.
__________________
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Would you really want to share something so personal with someone who you couldnt trust to take it seriously or be respectful?
Annother part of it is I cant figgure out WHY I want to tell them or even why I want them to understand. [...]
I think it's very natural for you (or anyone) to want your parents to know you and respect you for who you are, even if your relationship with them isn't so great right now. That doesn't mean it's the best thing to do, of course, but I think it's natural and healthy to want to, which seems to be part of what's bothering you.
Originally Posted by arunma
This is going to sound like a stupid question. But in general, aren't atheists and the irreligious more favorable towards paganism than virtually any other religion? This has been my experience. And while no one knows your parents better than you, it doesn't seem to me as if they'd take it so badly.
Atheist fundamentalists aren't terribly different from any other kind of fundamentalist. Richard Dawkins is probably one of the best examples of this. I'm not saying that fundamentalists are necessarily bad people but they can be extremely difficult to talk to if you have a different point of view.
I know how you feel. I went through this same sort of thing, except instead of being fundamentalist atheists, my parents are fundamentalist southern baptists. I really don't have the best relationship with my parents. My mother is tolerable, but I have a deep hatred for my father. It was finally brought up not too long ago that I'm Pagan. Neither of them were happy, and my dad started preaching and trying to tell me how wrong I was (though the things he was saying about Paganism were completely false, so he really had no idea what he was talking about), and wanted me to read some of his apologetics books. But after that night, it's never been mentioned again, by any of us. It's as if that whole argument never happened. All they're doing is ignoring it and hoping it will go away, but it makes things easier for me.
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