If you never get married does that mean you should never have sex?

This is a question I have wanted to have answered for a long time now and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I would like to hear everyones opinion on this but I will tell you my personal reasons for asking. Ill make it short but basically in 4 years from now I will be "far away" and wont ever be returning. (Ask more later if you want) I have never done anything with a woman before out of choice, which makes me a complete virgin because I always believed it was a gift of patience and devotion that I can only give to 1 person. Since I will be unable to marry someone my question is this: Are you not allowed to ever have sex if you never get married? I would like to hear both sides on this being religious and your own personal thoughts. Thanks for any responses .

That depends on whether you allow it to yourself or not.

I don´t know where you are from, but in my country you won´t run into legal problems.

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Why I call myself a „non-believer“ or „atheist“:
I can´t relate to any of the god concepts I´m familiar with so far.
Either I´m not convinced by the concept, or
– although not having a problem with the worldview itself -
I see no reason to call one of its elements „God“:
There are already more precise, more common, less loaded and less likely to be misunderstood terms for these elements.
E.g. I prefer to call nature „nature“, the universe „universe“ and everything „everything“.

Are you trying to justify experiencing carnal pleasure before you enter a monsatery or something?

I think you already know the answer. Seriously, I think you are just looking for a "sex outside marriage' loophole.

Seebs had a thread a while back on Biblical sexual morality, you might want to check that out., although IIRC it only covered adultery.

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"A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition." -Rudyard Kipling

"Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry" -Thomas Jefferson

I've wondered this, too. I was single til I was 26--and I was far from virginal. I did not attend church then either, as I considered my lifestyle sinful. My thoughts on it are that marriage is created by God to serve as an outlet, if you will, and that is has definite procreative purposes in most cases. Also, that He knows best and we should try to seek a path in the light. But I have struggled with this, too.

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she carries an alabaster jar

You probably don't want to lose your virginity under these circumstances. It should be special, it should be a gift of patience and devotion. I know that there is a lot of hype to sex, and most people view it as a right of passage, but you have to decide what is right for you.

These kinds of decisions can only be made by you. Some people are very keen on the RULES of Christainity, which are subjective. IMO it's perfectly fine to have sex outside of marriage.

Thanks for the input. To be honest its hard to explain because there really is no simple answer for what Im doing but I guess your right. I do know the answer I just wanted to know what others thought.

this "far away" are there ppl there? are you ever coming back, in 4 years do you think you'd meet someone who'd go with you? it seems pretty integral to the problem. but imo there isnt a problem having sex outside of marriage (as long as you're both concenting and safe) you however dont seem to think the same way and im guessing you dont believe you could feel you wanna marry someone in the 4 years you have left (jeez it sounds like you're dying, btw if you are sorry >_<)

but anyway i say live your life as normal (not with this heavy 4 year end hanging over you) you could fall into a relationship and this post could all be a silly story. the future is important but always leave some wiggle room as it isnt set in stone yet, enjoy the present ^^.

On a related note:

Let's assume that God intended only for sex to occur within marriage, that we are to remain abstinent until we are married to our life-long partner.

1) Why then do we have sexual impulses prior to marriage?

2) Why are these sexual impulses directed to multiple people, and NOT just to the person we are "intended by God" to marry?

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Reality is that which refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. - Philip K. Dick

You cannot reason a person out of position that they did not reason themselves into.

"Maybe you can't reason someone out of a position they haven't reasoned themselves into, but apparently you can get them to run away and stick their head back in the sand." - Robbie-James-Francis


Christian Fundamentalists and Muslim Fundamentalists seem to share the same basic goal - to overthrow the Constitutional Republic of the United States, and replace it with a fundamentalist theocracy.

A couple thoughts.

I believe God intended the vast majority of people to get married early in life - soon after the onset of puberty. In that way, the sexual urges are kept to a minimum. That is not the way of our culture. So part of the answer would be culture has subverted God's plan.

I also believe God built those urges only to be exercised in marriage. In fact, in an unfallen world, I believe it was only after marriage that they would come to the forefront. Satan has coopted that good design for evil purposes and has convinced us to believe - well - exactly what you wrote.

My opinions only as an answer to you. I am not in the mood to beat the subject to death.

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