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4th December 2003, 11:12 PM
|  | New, but not new ( in CF ).
31    
| | Join Date: 21st November 2003 Location: S. Cali
Posts: 143
Blessings: 110,317
Reps: 131 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by ummidrinkcherrycoke To me a friend is someone whos there when you need them for whatever.
A girlfriend is someone whom I'm spending time with for the soul purpose of finding out if we're compatible enough for marriage.
And for your second question I think that depends on the person. For me if I'm interested in someone I'll ask them out on a date.
(I know its been a long time sorry for that I went out of town and had alot of things to do)
For you--- would it be possible for you to spend time with someone (a friend) without them being your girlfriend to find out if they are compatible enought for marriage?
no, why not?
Because I think you can know if the person is marrige material or not just by spending enoght time with them as friend. Actually the title of the raltionship does not matter.
Hector 
><)))">
Last edited by hex98co99; 4th December 2003 at 11:17 PM.
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5th December 2003, 01:00 AM
|  | Veteran
33   
 | | Join Date: 10th December 2002 Location: Singapore
Posts: 1,206
Blessings: 96,259 My Mood 
Reps: 1,549 (power: 13) | | Originally Posted by hex98co99 What about when should you know that you shoould date someone?
Hector
><)))">
Perhaps we shouldn't start having thoughts about relationships in our minds the whole day, day in day out. Yes having thoughts now and then is fine but not such that it becomes a major part of life that we neglect our other things or we could not achieve our own potentials. What i've recently told myself is to stop looking for a mate. God has a plan for us(jer 29:11) and he cares for us. He made us and certainly our Creator knows what's best for us.
Just like you build your own computer(if you do), you will know what exactly you put inside, its strengths and its weaknesses. And knowing the weaknesses, you have a plan to put more memory into it but not until the next year. And so the computer just sits there grumbling away of getting more memory not knowing that the "Creator" has a plan. In the same way, God has plan for us. He had a plan for Adam. Adam's job was to name all the animals and obey God by not eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He did his job well and in time to come, God said that "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Gen 2:18 He knows what Adam needs and so provided a solution.
Similarly our Creator knows our needs and has a plan already in place. Why worry then when it's coming to you anyway? Our job is to be faithful like Adam and do our work. As i'm writing all this i'm always reminding myself. 
__________________
A life in Christ is a life of restfulness. There may be no ecstasy of
feeling, but there should be an abiding, peaceful trust.
Steps to Christ, p. 70. |
5th December 2003, 01:06 AM
| | Regular Member
30
| | Join Date: 24th February 2003 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 183
Blessings: 111,019
Reps: 32 (power: 0) | | | I will never understand why people feel they need to seek a partner. If you are seeking the Lords will that's all that matters. If God brings you a partner praise God if not what does it matter? You are following God's will. If you seek a partner you are seeking your will not God's. |
5th December 2003, 01:41 AM
|  | my sins are paid in full
28 
| | Join Date: 22nd November 2003 Location: South Dakota
Posts: 112
Blessings: 110,971
Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | i sort of agree Koop, but i think that is a rather sweeping generalization. i think it is possible to know that the Lord has a mate planned for you before you have him/her. and i think we have to be active in the process. very rarley does God just plop something in your lap and say, "here it is."
as for my opinion on a girl asking a guy. i know that i will not be an initiator. i think that a man's willingness to step up to the plate in this situation is the best way for him to show that he will be willing in the remainder of the relationship. i want my future husband to want me enough to overcome any inhabitions or fear of failure. and, if he is being as directed by God as i hope he is, he will know when it is time to make a move, because he will have an exellent guide |
5th December 2003, 01:52 AM
| | Regular Member
30
| | Join Date: 24th February 2003 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 183
Blessings: 111,019
Reps: 32 (power: 0) | | | I agree the Lord will not just send you packing on your way doing his will then all of a sudden say you've never met her before but here is your wife! Allthough I know cases where that has happend, i agree that is genraly not how God works. That isn't what i said though. If you are following God's will in your life in every aspect and you konw it's in his will for you to have a mate already, then all the less reason to seek it and worry about it. All the more should you have faith that God will bring that person into your life if they are not there already. It's incredably hard to just let go of the reigns. I stuggle with it every day, and in a lot more than just finding a wife. But it is only when i do that he really blesses me the most. |
5th December 2003, 12:34 PM
| | my sins are paid in full
28
| | Join Date: 22nd November 2003 Location: South Dakota
Posts: 112
Blessings: 110,971
Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | | true. sorry i missunderstood. |
5th December 2003, 12:46 PM
| | Regular Member
30
| | Join Date: 24th February 2003 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 183
Blessings: 111,019
Reps: 32 (power: 0) | | | Forgiven! Bless you sister! |
6th December 2003, 10:00 PM
| | New, but not new ( in CF ).
31
| | Join Date: 21st November 2003 Location: S. Cali
Posts: 143
Blessings: 110,317
Reps: 131 (power: 0) | | Hey I agree with you guys that you should not been in red alert all the times to find spouse.
In song of solomon there is a warning for us not to waken love before its time.
Yet I feel that once you are ready you must keep an eye open and prayful heart on the spouse you want.
I also feel that you are ready for marrige/dating (should be that same) you can love your spouce as Christ loved the church (for the man) (give your life for her)
and submit to the husband (for the woman)--
Those sound simlpe but are trually dificult to do.
When some quoted me for the question "when do you think that you are ready for dating?" I just wanted to get the opinion of the person who I was writing to and then compare our opininons and we could try to point out any flaws on our opinions if any.
Hector
><)))"> |
7th December 2003, 12:08 AM
| | my sins are paid in full
28
| | Join Date: 22nd November 2003 Location: South Dakota
Posts: 112
Blessings: 110,971
Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | | hector, i think you are right that those should be the ultimate goals for marriage. but i def think that they are a process. not something you wake up to one morning and say yup, i am there. i will submit to my husband at every turn (as i am a female) i think that it is something that is perfected by God with in your relationship. because i dont think i will really know what that means until i am there, and tempted to be rebellious.
i am super duper glad to know that there are men out there with that goal in mind hector, its encouraging for me as a family oriented single female. |
7th December 2003, 01:44 AM
|  | cool like fonzie
32  
| | Join Date: 12th October 2003 Location: Seattle
Posts: 481
Blessings: 96,325
Reps: 1,531 (power: 11) | | Originally Posted by hex98co99 For you--- would it be possible for you to spend time with someone (a friend) without them being your girlfriend to find out if they are compatible enought for marriage?
I have friends that are woman. But thats what they are.... friends. Nothing more. They have their own relationships with other guys and I with other girls.
Having a girlfriend means that there is a level of commitment in the relationship. It means that you're spending time with her to find out if you're compatible or not. It means that you're pursuing that quest for compatibility with her and only her. It doesnt mean that you cant see your friends (who might happen to be women). It just means that shes the only one the you have a commited relationship with.
A guy might find a girlfriend amongst a friend. Thats fine. But I usually know right away whether or not I'm romanticlly interested in someone. From there I choose to have friendship or relationship. I try to keep romance out of my friendships. It tends to do more harm then good.
I think that I'm done explaining the way I deal with my relationships. Its not even the subject of this thread. So this will be my last post in here. 
And yes I still think that its alright for a girl to ask out a guy.
Last edited by ummidrinkcherrycoke; 7th December 2003 at 01:51 AM.
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