You might try setting a timer for about 15 minutes (or hower long you think they need). Challenge them to get the job done in that time span. If they don't get the job done set the timer again for the same amount of time. Keep doing it until they get the message that you mean it this time
You wouldn't want to cramp the creative process, though
Can I say that reading this thread makes me want to have children (even more)? Is that strange for a seventeen-year-old? You know what...I'm just not gonna think about it
__________________ We were meant to live, we were meant to love.
"...Dying for something is easy because
it is associated with glory. Living for something...is the hard thing." --Donald Miller
1Jo 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (KJV)
I simply make it a non-issue. (My daughter is 4) When it's time to clean up, I go to wherever the current mess is ( ), and say, "Ok! Time to clean up! What do you want to pick up? What do you want mommy to pick up?"
I've been doing that for awhile, and actually just recently I've been trying, "Andie, will you please start picking up your toys? I'll be back in a minute to help you." So, she starts & is well on her way by the time I head back in there....slowly lengthening the time I'm away....so she's getting the hang of doing it by herself!
Good luck! I'm afraid, tho, it's a neverending process....I think we'll ALWAYS be telling our kids to "clean your room!!" lol
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I do not feel that my kids have a whole lot of toys, but we do not have a big house so when they do not keep their toys picked up their room or the house looks like a mess. Them not keeping their toys picked up seems too be the most difficult problem I have with them at the moment. I ask them to pick up their toys and a few minutes latter when I check on them they are playing instead of cleaning.
As a child my parents threatened, and did, throw away my and mine siblings toys when ever we did not pick them up—but I always felt that was a bit harsh and do not want to do that to my kids. While my kids are for the most part good kids I do not know why they will not keep their toys picked up. They have plenty of shelves and boxes for their toys—it’s just a matter of getting them to put them there.
Anyone have any suggestions?
friends of ours have a packing up toys song they play when it is time to pack toys away. I think to start with she didi it with them - she may still do it with them, not sure.
But I guess you could give them til the song is over, or cd is over or whatever to pack them up. Or make a game of it and give a sticker to them if they can get them packed up by the time the music stops. If they get x number of stickers they can have a treat?
This was a point of frustrations in my house for a while, but I just had to understand that they were litle yet.
Somethings I've tried that work (but not everytime so they get mixed up).
-timer pick up game: I set the timer for 15 minutes. The kid who gets all their toys put away within that time gets some small reward like an extra huge hug from a smiling non-growling mommy. Toys that are not picked up get "thrown away" for 2 days.
-If it is really bad I'll let the pick up nagging go and tell them it has to be cleaned up before bedtime. If not see consequences to game 1.
-We also make it a challenge game. I over see and say "Find 3 Barbies and put them in the box by the cedar chest, Go" Then continue until the toys are put away.
-Sometimes I divide up per kid what needs to be picked up. Like my son will do all the block, middle daughter all the trains, oldest all the dress up stuff.
-If I'm feeling really nice I'll just sit in the middle of the mess and hand them each toys to put away one by one.
Ok, sorry about the length, but I finally feel like I tackled this issue successfully with my crazies within the last month. Now if someone could get them to use inside voices at the dining table I'd be thrilled.
I simply make it a non-issue. (My daughter is 4) When it's time to clean up, I go to wherever the current mess is ( ), and say, "Ok! Time to clean up! What do you want to pick up? What do you want mommy to pick up?"
I've been doing that for awhile, and actually just recently I've been trying, "Andie, will you please start picking up your toys? I'll be back in a minute to help you." So, she starts & is well on her way by the time I head back in there....slowly lengthening the time I'm away....so she's getting the hang of doing it by herself!
This is wisdom! It's a non-issue for us too....not to brag at all, because there was a time when it was an issue.
During playtime he can do whatever he wishes and have toys sprawled in his room and in the family room.....but with the caveat that whatever he takes out, he puts back also. So he's learned not to take out everything.....in fact most days he'll may take out a couple of toys at a time, and putting it back before playing with another.
But come bedtime, it's simply his responsibility to clean up his toys. If he takes the initiative, I'll help him clean it up. If he whines about it, he does it himself - so he knows now to take the initiative!
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"It's not about having what you want; rather, it's about wanting what you have." Unknown
If toys aren't picked up when I say to pick up, they lose them. They don't get them back until they've earned a "reward"
Lisa Whelchl in Creative Correction addresses this issue...
I've noticed that my son has inherited one of my problems - if a job looks too big, he can't work out how the heck to get it done, and doesn't do it. He just keeps seeing the big picture, and can't get past that.
Soooo... I'd agree with what some others have said in different words... cut up the task into smaller, easier ones. Something specific like, "Please pick up all of your pencils and put them in your pencil case, in your room" gets a much better response. Except that he learns as we go, so that I can give bigger and bigger tasks over time (eg. "Please put away all of the stuff you brought into the lounge room"), and he's fine because he's learnt all the intermediate steps (so doesn't get overwhelmed by the big picture). Soon I'm hoping he'll be up to 'clean up your room' ... but hey, if he manages to follow THAT instruction before he's 25, he'll be doing better than me
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You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.
I've noticed that my son has inherited one of my problems - if a job looks too big, he can't work out how the heck to get it done, and doesn't do it. He just keeps seeing the big picture, and can't get past that.
Soooo... I'd agree with what some others have said in different words... cut up the task into smaller, easier ones. Something specific like, "Please pick up all of your pencils and put them in your pencil case, in your room" gets a much better response. Except that he learns as we go, so that I can give bigger and bigger tasks over time (eg. "Please put away all of the stuff you brought into the lounge room"), and he's fine because he's learnt all the intermediate steps (so doesn't get overwhelmed by the big picture). Soon I'm hoping he'll be up to 'clean up your room' ... but hey, if he manages to follow THAT instruction before he's 25, he'll be doing better than me
This is so true. We too have the problem of not knowing where to start, but once that happens, things go smoothly.
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I learnt and tried a new one today. A friend does this with her kids - not just about putting away toys. More about slowness and procrastination.
When they want them to go quickly. The first time they said to them something like tidy up your rooms really quickly and you'll get these two lollies (candy for US folk). When they did it they explained to them that when they say "two-lolly fast" that is how fast they mean. They won't always get lollies, but they do want them to be that fast.
I had tried to get him to tidy up all afternoon, not very successfully. I tried this. I gave him 10 minutes to pack up the room as fast as he could (it wasn't terribly bad anyway) and he could have 2 lollies. Then I explained that was what I meant by 2 lolly fast - hopefully it will work next time I need him to do something.
young kids really need help with cleaning, I think that is really a mountain of a chore for young ones. My son is usually "helping" clean, not doing it all himself.
and I don't let him just take out all his toys and dump them, he can only take out a couple, and when it is getting too much, we start putting them back before getting more. The mess also seemed to really go away, when we are making everyone keep their things in their rooms. Toys and back packs have to be put in their rooms very quickly, not left in the main rooms (family room, kitchen, living room). we try to keep all the toys in just the bedroom and playroom (and in the garage and backyard in bins). the family room and living room don't have toys anymore, so 6 year old just plays video games or computer or plays tag and hide-n-seek, which isn't really messy.
for the teens, they do clean up their rooms daily, but still need extra help for cleaning the litter boxes for cats (if it isn't cleaned twice a day, one of the two cats start pooping everywhere). And we also help for extra cleaning in their rooms, like scrubbing stains and harder things
), and say, "Ok! Time to clean up! What do you want to pick up? What do you want mommy to pick up?"
It's a non-issue for us too....not to brag at all, because there was a time when it was an issue.
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