murder victim survivors?

I was just wondering if any murder victim survivors post here. My husband was murdered May 2001. I still struggle with so many issues-it'd be good to have some Christian prespective.

Welcome! Sorry to hear about your loss...

I don't know of any murder-victim survivors here, but maybe some will show up.

Meanwhile, several other types of crime victims post here (as you can see), and we support each other as best we can.

Please feel free to post or PM your issues. We're friends here.

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God didn't give humans the best brains on earth so that we would be STUPID!
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Thank you for the kind response. I think I struggle most these days with forgiveness issues. I don't want the people who did this to be harmed in any way, and I think I forgive them. But, I still have a hatred for them and the life they dealt us. I keep praying for complete release of all ill feelings toward them, but I can't say that I'll ever be o.k. with what they did. It's very confusing.

No, that's perfectly normal. I know the most blessed release I ever felt is when the person (and I hesitate to call him that) who tried to kill my sister finally died. That's the only peace I've known -- just good riddance.

You don't have to be okay with what they did. Sometimes the only way to forgive was to try to forget.

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Therefore if God gave to them the same gift as He gave to us also after believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could stand in God's way? -Acts 11:17

If you've read the thread I started, I talk about being sexually attacked (yet not raped) in my home. There were times I felt that I wished the criminal was dead.

This site is FULL of WONDERFUL people to listen and give their input. It's a great place to let emotions down and look for Christian support, advice and comraderie. We're all here to help and be helped!

Thanks to those who responded. It seems I ought to be over it all by now. It's been 5 years. People don't seem to realize that the haunting reality is the criminals almost always get out of prison, if they are even there in the first place. As long as they can continue to hurt us, I don't know how any of us can get over it. I just wish the world would realize that. In the mean time, I keep working on the forgiveness stuff. My pastor sure like to preach on it.

The "forgiveness stuff" can take years, but small steps add up. You don't have to do it all at once. And (as others have said) it in no way excuses or condones the wrongs others have done. It does release you from the grip of evil resulting from their actions, and furthers the healing process. You never forget, but with forgiveness, your pain will become less and less, and, in time your life will not be overwhelmed by this tragedy.

One of the best steps is praying for the murderer. It's very difficult, but you can genuinely pray for them to realize the wrong they have done, and to come into a relationship with Christ. It's a beginning, and it helps you get God's perspective. Forgiveness is only possible with God's help.

Blessings,

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God didn't give humans the best brains on earth so that we would be STUPID!
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I really do appreciate the kind words. I don't have anyone I can talk to about my husband or what happened. I'm the "strong one" in our families. Everyone always comes to me. I do pray for this young man. He just destroyed his life. Even when he gets out of prison, he'll never be the same. I want so much to make him REALIZE what he really did. He never appologized or anything. He has never shown any remorse. I wonder if he ever thinks about our little girls never having a father because of him. I keep praying he will "get it."

Yes, I know how you feel, but for your sake forgive this person. No matter what you do to have him feel what you felt he never will, he could never know how you feel. Having him feel what you feel will not change anything that has happended to you so it best to put your prayers to forgive him. It is understandable your anger, but don't let it ruin you. "Forgive quickly, so that the enemie will not have a strong hold over you."

I've been on this forgiveness journey almost since day one. I'm trying to remember to pray for the offender as often as I can think to without thinking of anything bad. I think if I pray and think about this man and his life, maybe I can forgive completely. I've thought that I forgave him time and again now. But, then, something will come up that just angers me so much. I don't wish for anything bad to ever happen to him. I know society is punishing him in the way they see fit. His fate is in God's capable hands, and I certainly have nothing to do with God's plans. It just stays confusing even after all these years now.