37, single and deisre to be a mother

I'm pursuing a sperm donor to have my first child.  I am not married, nor am I in a relationship.  The doc said I need to do this very soon if I plan on it at all.  I am a licensed therapist so I understand the difficulties of single parenting and I know the emotional turmoil of not reproducing.  I do not wish to adopt due to my professional experiences and knowledge of the emotional disturbances a lot of "unwanted" children have.   And I am financially secure to provide for a child.  All have been worked out as much as possibly can be planned.

My brothers believe that this is "fornication."  Any thoughts?

I'm not sure about it being "fornication" - but I disagree with your pursuit for a couple of reasons.

The first reason is that every child deserves to have a Father and should have a Father! Your course of action deprives a child of knowing who is natural Father is and worse - could deprive him/her from having a Father at all! A father is just as important in the development and raising of a Child as a mother is - to think otherwise is foolish.

The other reason - Matthew 19:5-6: "...for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not seperate."

It's hard on a kid when he doesn't have a dad.
*hug*

I grew up without a father and the voices in my head tell me I am an OK guy.


Seriously, I don't see how this would be fornication. A medical procedure is not a sex act.

There are pros and cons to every situation. You are stable, intelligent and obviously a loving person. Why should you be told you can't have a child because you are choosy and haven't settled for a man that you weren't led to marry? If two men or two women are allowed to have a child, why not you? On the flip side, it was a bit difficult at times not having a father. Bringing Mom to the father/son events at Boy Scouts, etc. was a bit depressing. But that only had to be dealt with a few times in my life. My Mother went the extra mile to love me and to seek assistance from men in my life (uncles, etc.) when it came time for dad to son talks. Also, growing up in church had its advantages. I was surrounded by positive male role models, many of which took interest in the youth programs, etc.

My opinion is all I have in this matter. I say go for it. I can't tell you that my opinion is biblical truth. Pray about it. Talk to your pastor or another respected leader in your church.

Ask your brothers how they will treat the child. Will they act childish because they don't agree with the method? Or will they embrace him/her with love (as they should) as a part of the family in spite of their disagreement? This is important to consider. you don't want to be alienated by your family. A stable extended family will be important to your child.

God bless.

__________________
A man's pride will bring him low,
But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
Proverbs 29:23
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My hope arises from the freeness of grace, and not from the freedom of the will.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

The primary focus of evangelism is to be faithful, not convincing. Just as the primary focus of our works is to be faithful, not to earn something. -frumanchu

I think you shouldn't. Like everyone said, pray about it, talk to pastor, pray some more, read the Bible, pray some more. I basically am with what everything Behe's Boy said.

__________________
"Emotions are never an accurate barometer of spiritual death or commitment"

-Pastor Mike Moore

In all perfect situations, I agree.  However, I'm not in that perfect situation, as with many other people needing assistance with current technology whether it is for health, education, physical assistance, etc.   Over 50% of families these days have a single parent and many of them adjust very well depending upon the love, the role models, the spiritual foundation, and the experiences in life.  And I can not see how DESIRING to raise a child, to love, to nurture, to become a child of God is wrong.  I am CHOOSING to love and sacrifice in contrast to many others OOPS!  If you have children, take them out of your life and try to invision the rest of your life without those joys.  Now I can't see how someone can tell me I must miss out on that.

I had a very loving mother.  My father died when I was 6 years old and I gotta tell ya growing up without a father was very difficult.  I wouldn't wish that on any child.  Sometimes we must balance what we desire with what consequences it may have on others...in this case a child.

Having a child without a father being there is not a perfect situation.  Actually for me it was quite tragic. 

I would really seek alot of counseling from a trusted Christian counselor.

What you desire today may make someone's tomorrows pretty rough to get through.

 

__________________
God said it, that settles it, whether you believe it or not!



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What will you say to your child when he/she asks you about Daddy? I know it is a difficult question, but the child WILL ask. You have probably thought of that many times yourself.

You people are all assuming that she will never meet and fall in love with a man. How do we know that this child won't have a father? God's sovereign will will not allow the insemination to be a success if this woman is not to have a child.

__________________
A man's pride will bring him low,
But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
Proverbs 29:23
____________________________________________________________
My hope arises from the freeness of grace, and not from the freedom of the will.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

The primary focus of evangelism is to be faithful, not convincing. Just as the primary focus of our works is to be faithful, not to earn something. -frumanchu

If God's sovereign will were followed we would not see babies being born to drug addicts and prostitutes and children who became pregnant through an act of rape.  Human beings decide to have children by whatever method.

I believe that God's sovereign will is for a child to be born into a loving, commited relationship between a husband and a wife.  I just can't buy that God will only allow a woman to become pregnant if it is His sovereign will.

I think it is better for all included (especially the child) if the woman first falls in love with and marries a godly man then has a child.  To have the child first is kind of like putting the cart before the horse.

__________________
God said it, that settles it, whether you believe it or not!



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