I am all for the idea that the outward should not be a focus, but if we don't discuss these ideas and teach our children the concepts behind our decisions we end up with Christian girls thinking there is nothing wrong with halter tops and mini-skirts. It is dangerous to mandate dress, but it is also dangerous to teach that how we dress doesn't matter. There has been such a reaction to mandated dress in the Mennonite churches that the subject of dress has become almost taboo in the progressive churches.
I am all for the idea that the outward should not be a focus, but if we don't discuss these ideas and teach our children the concepts behind our decisions we end up with Christian girls thinking there is nothing wrong with halter tops and mini-skirts. It is dangerous to mandate dress, but it is also dangerous to teach that how we dress doesn't matter. There has been such a reaction to mandated dress in the Mennonite churches that the subject of dress has become almost taboo in the progressive churches.
I agree that these things must be discussed, and I agree that how we dress does matter, a lot.
Joe and I were talking the other day and I asked him, if a woman walks by dressed in skimpy clothing, maybe even topless on the beach, would he have lustful thoughts? It didn't take him long to say that he wouldn't want to, but he probably would. When I asked him whose fault it would be that he had those thoughts, he said it would be somewhat his for not looking away fast enough, but it would be mostly hers, because she would be getting the reaction she was looking for.
When I asked him how he would felt if I dressed sexy in public, when he was done trying to be diplomatic, he said that he wouldn't like it at all, because it would seem to him that I was trying to attract other men and it would make it seem like I didn't want to be his girlfriend anymore.
When a woman dresses sexy, it isn't completely the man's fault when he has lustful thoughts. Young women especially have been told that they can dress anyway they want and if a man has sinful thoughts because of it, that's his problem. We need to start teaching Christian women that that's not true.
There are a wide variety of issues, personal issues like how to dress, that the church is failing to address these days. Too many feel good sermons, too much blending in with the world.
__________________ Carry only love. Hate is a burden that is tremendously heavy.
If you want to live like Jesus, love your enemies and give up your life for them.
I agree that these things must be discussed, and I agree that how we dress does matter, a lot.
Joe and I were talking the other day and I asked him, if a woman walks by dressed in skimpy clothing, maybe even topless on the beach, would he have lustful thoughts? It didn't take him long to say that he wouldn't want to, but he probably would. When I asked him whose fault it would be that he had those thoughts, he said it would be somewhat his for not looking away fast enough, but it would be mostly hers, because she would be getting the reaction she was looking for.
When I asked him how he would felt if I dressed sexy in public, when he was done trying to be diplomatic, he said that he wouldn't like it at all, because it would seem to him that I was trying to attract other men and it would make it seem like I didn't want to be his girlfriend anymore.
When a woman dresses sexy, it isn't completely the man's fault when he has lustful thoughts. Young women especially have been told that they can dress anyway they want and if a man has sinful thoughts because of it, that's his problem. We need to start teaching Christian women that that's not true.
There are a wide variety of issues, personal issues like how to dress, that the church is failing to address these days. Too many feel good sermons, too much blending in with the world.
Well said. I am always a little leary of how you will take my posts, as I know our opinions differ quite abit on some issues. This is a difficult media because you can't read non-verbals when you are having a discussion.
Danfrey, what do you believe about a woman's hair being cut?
I believe the Bible teaches that a woman should not shave her head. Beyond that, my personal preference would be for a woman to have long hair. I don't believe the Bible forbids a woman from cutting her hair though. Let me throw another curve. I shaved my wife's head when she started Chemo. Many would consider this sinful, but I think God understood why.
Backtracking: All our modesty decisions i have discussed with the girls & we have worked towards things we are all comfortable with. Some of these have changed as the Lord has worked in our lives; some are tighter, others more relaxed. My oldest dd initiated much of our discussions on tempting males by how women dress & has actively sought to be very careful in this regard & I admire her for it as she isn't yet 17. Also we are seeing a careful stepping away by some members of the Christian church as the world grows more lewed & immoral in order that there might be a cleare distinction between the world & those who belong to Christ. Some days the irony kills me; I am a big believer in individual freedoms & free choice yet find myself aligning more & more with extremely conservative churches as we seek to be in the world but not of it.
__________________ Remember, the ark was built by amateurs; the titanic was built by proffessionals.
'It is My own peace I give unto you.' Not, notice, the world's peace. rumour godden -In this House of Brede
Fair-trade means the worker at the bottom of the supply chain get paid a fair price for their work and that no children are exploited at less than subsistence 'wages'. I have strong views about 'sweated' and indebted/indentured' labour being no better than slavery with a different mask. Ethical means the impact of trade on the wider community is also taken into account.
As for hair until I was appointed to work for the church my hair was very long but the hours I work mean it is now an awful lot shorter for practical reasons. I could not serve the church tripping over my own hair and whilst I did try pinning it back into an extra strong bun-net it kept fighting for freedom.
Sure I could conform to the absolute open brethren ideal of hat sensible shoes skirt and so on but I came from way outside of His body and for that reason I am judged by my attitude to Christ and to others before my clothing. The brethren cope better with my tendency to wear long black gowns and cloaks than other Christian groups.
Some open brethren churches in the UK have tried to enforce dress codes on both men and woman, sadly this happened when they became more legalistic in outlook instead of outward in evangelism and such churches are decreasing in members as no younger people join or stay. My church took the courageous choice of not enforcing 20 years ago and has grown with some of the younger girls choosing to dress modestly with their hair covered as they are allowed to choose to do so.
No woman who loves Christ should deliberately dress to tempt a man, that is not a compassionate thing to do to them. We should protect our brother from their weaknesses where possible so that temptation does not get chance to led to outright sin.
__________________ If faith thus depends on hope for its life, then the sin of unbelief is manifestly grounded in hopelessness. To be sure it is usually said that sin in its original form is man’s wanting to be as God. But that is only one side of sin. The other side of such pride is hopelessness, resignation, inertia and melancholy….Temptation then consists not so much in the titanic desire to be as God, but in weakness, timidity, weariness, not wanting to be what God requires of us. [Jurgen Moltmann-Theology of Hope]
I believe the Bible teaches that a woman should not shave her head. Beyond that, my personal preference would be for a woman to have long hair. I don't believe the Bible forbids a woman from cutting her hair though. Let me throw another curve. I shaved my wife's head when she started Chemo. Many would consider this sinful, but I think God understood why.
I am more than certain God understood. How is your wife doing now?
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