My husband and I are both involved with ministry. He sings full time and we are both on a church staff as youth directors. He is either gone or busy. When he is home, we have teenagers in our home non stop. ( It is 1:30 AM my time and there are three teens here now. )
I feel gulity for the feelings that I have. I never want to be the reason that someone doesn't find the Lord. But I can't live this way any longer. I truly love people, especially young people. I don't want to let the Lord down, but I'm dying inside. Please help.
Have you talked to your husband about the way that you feel? Do you have any children?
My husband is a full-time Senior pastor and I have definitely felt overwhelmed at times and like we do not have a life of our own separate from the ministry.
My DH and I have kept a very open line of communication when it comes to these areas.
I think that it is a good idea for you to share your feelings and be completely honest about what you're experiencing with your DH if you haven't done so yet.
We have found ways to try to keep a "balance" in ministry. We have literally "scheduled" family time on our calendars when we knew that a certain week or two was going to be crazy busy...and then we don't let anything interfere in that time alone unless it's an emergency.
We started doing a couple's devotional together, and that has really benefited our relationship. I know that probably all ministry spouses have felt this way at one time or another, and it is tough.
I would start by sharing my feelings with my spouse after I had prayed for the Lord to help me express them in a respectful and loving way and that we could then communicate together and find ways to help ease the stress and have more time together alone.
I hope things improve and you will be in my prayers!
God bless you!
__________________ Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart; Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art Thou my best Thought, by day or by night, Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
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Have you talked to your husband about the way that you feel? Do you have any children?
My husband is a full-time Senior pastor and I have definitely felt overwhelmed at times and like we do not have a life of our own separate from the ministry.
My DH and I have kept a very open line of communication when it comes to these areas.
I think that it is a good idea for you to share your feelings and be completely honest about what you're experiencing with your DH if you haven't done so yet.
We have found ways to try to keep a "balance" in ministry. We have literally "scheduled" family time on our calendars when we knew that a certain week or two was going to be crazy busy...and then we don't let anything interfere in that time alone unless it's an emergency.
We started doing a couple's devotional together, and that has really benefited our relationship. I know that probably all ministry spouses have felt this way at one time or another, and it is tough.
I would start by sharing my feelings with my spouse after I had prayed for the Lord to help me express them in a respectful and loving way and that we could then communicate together and find ways to help ease the stress and have more time together alone.
I hope things improve and you will be in my prayers!
God bless you!
Amen to that!!!
I'm not married but I went to a conference in June called Teach Me How to Love You in Atlanta, GA. You and your husband might consider going next year. www.bishopweeks.com . They taught a lot on balancing ministry and marriage and how the first ministry is home, not the church. There were a lot of couples on the verge of divorce and God restored instantly. The whole conference blessed me. This conference is for singles, courting and married couples. Don't give up, pray that God will teach both of you how to love one another. Don't let the enemy come in to frustrate either one of you or your marriage. Your marriage is a ministry that the enemy will try to come between. Pray, pray and pray some more. God will give you exactly what you need to do to revive your marriage and but balance in place.
God Bless!!!
__________________
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For you have turned my pain into joy and through You I am now Divinely Inspired, Virtuous and Anointed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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I can recommend a book on burnout, which includes a section on marriage and family.
It's called "Going the Distance" by Peter Brain. He is a bishop, and has gone through this himself.
Also - have you read any of the Boundries books. It sounds to me like you need some boundries in your ministry to protect your marriage. You need some 'us' time so that you have the energy for 'them' time.
Boundries by Cloud and Townsend(I think that's the authors - I'll go find links). They also have one on Boundries in Marriage and a few other titles.
Hi Nee1096 ! I am always asking a million questions - are you both on staff at the same church? Do you keep your "church work" at church or do you bring it home also? Is this your first "ministry job" for you & hubby too? Does your husband have a strong belief that he should bring "the ministry work" home regardless of how you feel or maybe is it he does not know exactly how to send the "kids" home ? How young are the teens - do their parents wonder why they are out at 1:30am? So many kids are starving for attention and a sweet young youth minister is a great attention getting target. If he just doesn't know how to end the youth session - maybe some of our members could offer suggestions. The previous posters have given some good advice.
Mar 6:31 And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.
i overclock myself too always. the devil sometimes wants to keep us busy doing things that have no or little eternity value.
we live in a busy world and need to take some timeouts now and then.
some people also need to learn to say no. i am one of them.
hugs
Markus
PS: remember we are only the branches, he is the vine. we can not do anything without him. there is enough time to do all he has for us each day.
My husband and I are both involved with ministry. He sings full time and we are both on a church staff as youth directors. He is either gone or busy. When he is home, we have teenagers in our home non stop. ( It is 1:30 AM my time and there are three teens here now. )
I feel gulity for the feelings that I have. I never want to be the reason that someone doesn't find the Lord. But I can't live this way any longer. I truly love people, especially young people. I don't want to let the Lord down, but I'm dying inside. Please help.
My husband and I are both involved with ministry. He sings full time and we are both on a church staff as youth directors. He is either gone or busy. When he is home, we have teenagers in our home non stop. ( It is 1:30 AM my time and there are three teens here now. )
I feel gulity for the feelings that I have. I never want to be the reason that someone doesn't find the Lord. But I can't live this way any longer. I truly love people, especially young people. I don't want to let the Lord down, but I'm dying inside. Please help.
You need to tell him exactly what you told everyone here. There is apart of God you can only find between you and your spouse, and you cant find it anywhere else. When my wife had a small group we had a time that we kicked everyone out at, and people were respectful. He has to be getting burned out by constantly ministering every time you turn around. Jesus himself had to go away himself, if he wasnt with the crowds it was just him and his disciples- His "Family at that point".
As the wife of a female vicar I feel I am the ultimate authority in this subject and hence all previous opinions should be considered invalid. I found since shelia found her faith she has been able to satisfy me in ways I never found possible, she touched my "G" spot (that's god spot to those not in the know)
as it says in deuteronemy jebbaadiah touched his wife who in turn touched hers and saved their marrige. the holy spirit was found deep within and begat many a swining party as my nephew would chirp!
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