K and I are getting married in July, so I guess this really is just something that I'm considering now. His kids are 11 and 13, mine are 14 and 8. The other parents are both very active in the childrens' lives. I think that each of us will be on first name basis with our step-children, because they are older, and I wouldn't want to cause any hurt with the other parents. When we refer to our kids or "step-kids" we just call them "our kids". I love all the kids, and they are adjusting, but I think my "step-kids" will just call me Kel.
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I always called my step-parents by their first names, but my children consider them their grandparents regardless of biological status. I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable w/ my kids calling someone daddy because they do have a dad, even if he is in Heaven. Not that I'm finding one soon anyway....
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My oldest stepchildren (only a few years younger than myself) call me by my first name. My stepson alternates. He always refers to me as "my mom" when talking to others but sometimes calls me by my first time when talking to me. My oldest daughter does the same thing with my husband. She alternates when talking to him but calls him "my dad" when talking to others or introducing him.
My oldest grandkids call me by my first name, but say grandma in front of it. The littlest guy will call me grandma because his parents call me that. I figure unless kids are very young when you marry (not really talking yet) they need to figure out what feels good for them. Nobody should be forced to call someone mom or dad, our only requirement was to be respectful when talking about parents and step parents and when talking to us regardless of any emotional turmoil.
__________________ If when we judged others our real motive was to destroy evil, we should look for evil where it is to be found, and that is in our own hearts. But if we are on the lookout for evil in others, our real motive is obviously to justify ourselves, for we are seeking to escape punishment for our own sins by passing judgment on others, and are assuming by implication that the Word of God applies to ourselves in one way, and to others in another (Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship).
My oldest stepchildren (only a few years younger than myself) call me by my first name. My stepson alternates. He always refers to me as "my mom" when talking to others but sometimes calls me by my first time when talking to me. My oldest daughter does the same thing with my husband. She alternates when talking to him but calls him "my dad" when talking to others or introducing him.
My oldest grandkids call me by my first name, but say grandma in front of it. The littlest guy will call me grandma because his parents call me that. I figure unless kids are very young when you marry (not really talking yet) they need to figure out what feels good for them. Nobody should be forced to call someone mom or dad, our only requirement was to be respectful when talking about parents and step parents and when talking to us regardless of any emotional turmoil.
I have to agree with you! I don't care what they call me. I just want to have a good and open relationship with all of my children!
__________________ God bless you as you keep Him in your heart! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Love from Klynn!
My sd calls me "mom." I didn't have any expectations as to what she would call me, I'd actually assumed she'd use my first name. But as soon as I moved in with them, she started calling me Mom (she was 6 then, now she is 16). At first it was just around third parties, then after a few weeks/months it was all the time. The only time she uses my first name is when she talks to her BM (which isn't very often lately).
"our" child calls my ex.....other daddy, or man..LOL
I only bring this up because, we see him too often I guess, and yet it is amazing how more family can be comforting....
His kids call me mom and have since the day we got married. My kids call him by his first name, but they were a little older when we got married. They call each other brothers and sister. They have never distinguished that they are steps to each other and get mad if someone else does, like their bio mom likes to do.
I will let my step son call me whatever he wants. For now he calls me mom. I love him as my own and I want for him to be comfortable calling me what he wants!
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