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Remarriage A forum to discuss remarriage after loss of spouse or divorce.

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  #11  
Old 1st August 2006, 02:24 PM
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I used to struggle with insecurity but not anymore. I see how totally lost she is (especially this week in light of an increase in child support she is seeking, seemingly without any desire to discuss it and agree to some mutual amount). She is a miserable person, but puts on a good face. They were married for a year, lived together less than 9 months. We have been married for 11 years. They have a 14 year old daughter but they never talk. She makes all the decisions and if there is any info that needs to go between homes, it's either ignored and not talked about or my stepdaughter tells her daddy. It's really very sad. If the ex weren't so spiteful and deliberately duplicitous I'd feel sorry for her.
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  #12  
Old 1st August 2006, 02:43 PM
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No I have never felt insecure about my Dh's ex, but I have a different situation. I am 13 years younger than her, more intelligent (according to my husband) and she treated him with no respect and was weirdly possessive. I am nothing like her in any way and I know my DH adores me, he had also been divorced 10 years when we met.

If anything I suspect it's the other way around, although we have actually never met, I know she has found out about me. She works in a local shop so I could easily see her, I would know her by her name badge and she would not know me (I don't think), but I am not really interested, that was his past.
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Old 3rd August 2006, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by flower child
my current boyfriend was married and still is married, she walked out on him after 1 month of marriage with another man.

she is now demanding money from him - he believs that god did not join them, but they joined themselves and sh only marries him for money, it certainly seems that way.

she is the only person he has been sexual with and at first it did make me very nervous as im still a virgin and waiting for the big day!
:-)

but iv come to acept that she was a mistake that he made, and he has been forgiven of that mistake, and move on.

your husband has obviously moved on - he is with you!
he loves you, the children are not the bond between the parents of they no longer love each other, its jsut an agreement to keep the peace in front of their children.to stay civil.

its hard not to compare i know, the parents at the moment have only jsut met me and are alreadt comparing me to his x wife!!!
but that is why we have both got to be strong in who we are in christ and not let the devil make us doubt ourselves and our relationships.
me with my boyfriend and you with your husband
If you say he's still married he's not your boyfriend he's her husband. In a divorce Care recovery class I lead we have a saying . What were you the day before you get married "Single" right so what are you the day before your divorce is final? "Still married"
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  #14  
Old 8th August 2006, 08:40 AM
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All u lovely woman u r Gods children and so the wife who cheated their huuby are God children to....... So geting jealouse on them ..........means ur getting jealous on God....... Forget bout the others look into ur life and pray for ur hubbby x.. this way u'll be blessed and u'll end up to have a very good future. But if u'll get jealous of ur hubbys x then devil who always waits for a leak will enter ur life and will destroy the marriage life....... Lord Jesus help this girls to forgive their hubbys x n humble themselves. Bless there marriage life so that satan does not enter their life I ask this through Christ our Lord Amen
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  #15  
Old 8th August 2006, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by givengrace
If you say he's still married he's not your boyfriend he's her husband. In a divorce Care recovery class I lead we have a saying . What were you the day before you get married "Single" right so what are you the day before your divorce is final? "Still married"
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  #16  
Old 11th October 2006, 12:18 PM
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I have found it to be true that whenever anyone is obsessed with thoughts about another that involve insecurity and jealousy, the issue is unforgiveness. The cure is forgiveness -- releasing them from whatever debt you think or feel they owe -- letting go of whatever you think or feel they took away from you.

Often the problem is recognizing what "harm" you believe they have done you personally. This takes asking the Holy Spirit to open your heart and revealing to you what's there.
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  #17  
Old 11th October 2006, 04:37 PM
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I'm also very jealous of my husband's ex but she screwed it up by being with someone else while they were married,she also married the guy and divorced him,my husband and his ex had two boys together and then she had two boys by the other guy.I honestly say that I think she might be jealous of me,she has said she wished she was still with my husband and she also jealous of the fact that I had the baby girl that she always wanted.I guess I'm not so jelous after all,I think in the back of my mind is that at one time he loved her,does he love her still?most likly not but I really hate when he has to have any conversations with her,100% of the time its about the boys but I hate how it takes away from our family meaning my stepsons and my 2 kids.Well I guess everyones in a similar state,I'm also divorced and had a son with my ex,but my husband's been his father for the three years we have been married.My ex hasn't been in my son's life really,which gets me angry,happy,sad all at the same time.
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  #18  
Old 13th October 2006, 02:33 PM
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Kiss

Please don't feel jealous of your husbands first wife. From what you say in your post there doesn't seem to be anything to be jealous of. You are his wife now. Be happy.

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Old 13th October 2006, 02:57 PM
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I am remarried to a wonderful man. He has never been married before. I do not think that he is jealous of my ex. He has a hard time with the fact that he does not like him at all because of the things that have happened. We both know that God tells us in the bible that we must love everyone. That is a hard thing to do sometimes. I do have to have conversations with him because of our 3 children. However, I do think that the woman that my ex is with is jealous of me for some reason. She always degrades me infront of my children and its like she is trying to turn them against me. She even tried to talk my youngest daughter to go live with them. Of course I have custody so she is still with me. I am at my wits end with her. The only thing I can think of is that she is jealous that I had his children and she can not have anymore. I don't know.
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  #20  
Old 24th October 2006, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by benotte View Post
The ex cheated on him while they were married, asked for a divorce and would not go to counseling with him. She consequently ended up shacking up and a year later marrying the guy she had the affair with. So, in addition to feeling insecure and almost jealous of her, I will always hate her for tearing that family apart and hurting my husband the way she did. I have horrible thoughts about wanting to cause her grief - and I know this is wrong. I just hate the woman so much, I can't stand to have to see her. I just want to smack her sometimes. Of course I never would. I'm just being as honest as possible here and hope it's met with understanding. I want to add that I never act out on this, and I never speak ill of her to the kids - EVER.
I haven't read all the posts here, so I hope I am not repeating something that has already been said, but why don't you try to look at your husbands ex wife a little differently.

How would your life look today if she had been a better wife to him? Would you and your husband be together? Maybe instead of hating her, try to 'thank' her for what she did to allow you and your husband to be together.
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