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Parenting A forum for parents to discuss parenting issues.

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  #1  
Old 2nd May 2006, 07:17 PM
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Do you also spank on the bare bottom?

I'm quite new to these forums and don't necessarily want to get involved in deep serious discussions right away, but I have some issues which I think it is better talking about now, rather than later.
Please do not turn this thread into a spanking vs anti-spanking debate.
I do beleive in spanking in a normal Christian household, if it is needed as a last resort.
A few friends of mine were talking about it and what I realised was that we all meant different things when we talked of "a spanking." For example, I have a friend who I learnt swats her kids with a wooden spoon. To me, I would only spank with a bare hand, I don't feel using instruments is necessary.
If Beccy need a spanking, to me, this means I will generally explain to her why she is getting a spanking, then prop her over my knees and smack her 'bare bottom' a maximum of 3 or 4 times. Thats it.
Do you spank your child's bare bottom? And what does "a spanking" involve in your house?
I apologise if this goes against the principle of some non-spankers here on the boards, but I will repeat I only spank becuase I love her and want her to do good and I always end a spanking with a hug so she knows the slate has been wiped clean.
I would love to hear other parents take on this.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 07:23 PM
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coyote is just really nicecoyote is just really nicecoyote is just really nicecoyote is just really nicecoyote is just really nicecoyote is just really nice
Well my daughter is only 14 months so haven't had to deal with this yet. Personally speaking I belive spanking is only for something they know is wrong and have been told several times no. Should only be no more than a few times. I don't agree with bare bottom just me though. As to instruments such as a spoon, piece of kindlin or hand. I would say hand.

I hope I never have to spank my daughter though. Think that might be up to her mom to do. I like being the pushover.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 08:05 PM
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There was onlyvise against it for lots of reasons.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 08:26 PM
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I spanked no matter what they were wearing. I didn't necessarily pull down their pants to get the job done. My boys got spanked growning up. My oldest, who is 11yrs., rarely gets spanked now because he's at the age where I can talk to him and I can use other consequences to get my message through. My youngest is 8, and he's starting to get more spankings now. When he was young, I never had an issue with his behavior. Now he's really starting to mouth off and he's been getting spanked more.

It's funny how they are pretty nice for a couple days after they get spanked...
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Old 2nd May 2006, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Beth1231
There was only "bare bottom" spanking for me in my lifetime and I can remember it clearly! I was about four and I remember feeling angry and humiliated. Must have really been strong emotions for such an early memory to have stayed with me all these years. I will never do it when I have kids and I advise against it for lots of reasons.
I absolutely agree.... we are non-spankers (because we feel there are other better options), but if you feel you need to spank please give your child some respect by allowing them to keep their clothes on. Sigh. I really think that bare bottom spanking is far worse than instrumental spanking..... it is so humiliating.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Łamb
It's funny how they are pretty nice for a couple days after they get spanked...
Ummm I don't find this funny at all. I remember being "well behaved" after my mom spanked me... why? Fear of a spanking.... a life skill that surely served me.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 09:04 PM
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I give a bare bottom swat for direct defiance. One swat per occurance (immediately prior) or, if they repeat the offense within a day or two, they compound until the behavior stops (we've never had to do this, but have told our daughter it will happen and mean it). Our daughter is the only one who's needed this so far (she'll be turning six soon and her brother is 3). We do not use it as a last resort (when we're frustrated or angry), but for direct defiance to a direction. We use a bare hand.

Rachel
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Old 2nd May 2006, 09:18 PM
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5. Do not violate your child. Removing underwear in order to spank bare skin is a humiliating invasion of personal and private space and sexually threatening and confusing to the child. So firmly resist the traditional image of the bare- bottomed child stretched across your lap.
From:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp#T062102
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Old 2nd May 2006, 09:35 PM
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I would never spank a bare bottom, to me that's a violation...not only is it a spanking but a tool used to belittle and embarass the child. Not cool. I'm not even thinking from a parent's point of view but how would I feel to be smacked on my bare bottom? What feelings of humiliation etc

So no I couldn't do that.
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Old 2nd May 2006, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Leanna
Ummm I don't find this funny at all. I remember being "well behaved" after my mom spanked me... why? Fear of a spanking.... a life skill that surely served me.
I was only joking when I said this...not to be taken too seriously.

I too was spanked growing up. I learned not to do the same behavior or action twice. Well, sometimes it took alittle more. I was not abused or my parents spanked out of anger. They spanked because I deserved it. I can say this now as an adult and realize the stuff I put my parents through. I am thankful they spanked me because I'm afraid of the way I would of turned out had I not been disciplined. Talking or time-outs did not work for me at all. And they don't work in every situation.

Please don't get the idea that people who spank their children do it out of sheer pleasure or abuse. Not all parents do, and I certainly don't.
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