Home | Be a Christian | Devotionals | Join Us! | Forums | Rules | F.A.Q.


Go Back   Christian Forums > Ministry > Life Stages > Parenting
Register BlogsPrayersJobsArcade Calendar Mark Forums Read

Parenting A forum for parents to discuss parenting issues.

Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #71  
Unread 15th June 2009, 11:38 AM
Newbie

Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Country: United Kingdom Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 12th May 2009
Posts: 198
Blessings: 62,200
My Mood Joyful
Reps: 9,512,678,619,294,536 (power: 9,512,678,619,300)
savedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond repute
savedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond reputesavedandthankful has a reputation beyond repute
I think it depends on the age of the child. If the child is still at an age where they are not embarrased to run around without clothes on and still happy to take baths with their parents, then I don't see how it is so bad to recieve discipline in this way. It is safer that using an implement too.

I think when they get older spanks are supposed to be rare (in an ideal world at leat). A differnt method of spanking should probably be adopted at that age. I'm not sure what that age is though. Maybe 4/5, perhaps a little older. I'm still learning myself so any advice is welcome. The last thing I would want to do is make my child resentful.
Reply With Quote
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!

  #72  
Unread 6th July 2009, 05:03 PM
oat02351's Avatar
Senior Veteran

40 Gender: Female Married Faith: Catholic Country: United States Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 3rd October 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,026
Blessings: 140,167
My Mood Pensive
Reps: 8,016 (power: 23)
oat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to all
oat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to alloat02351 is a name known to all
Originally Posted by Beccysmommy View Post
I'm quite new to these forums and don't necessarily want to get involved in deep serious discussions right away, but I have some issues which I think it is better talking about now, rather than later.
Please do not turn this thread into a spanking vs anti-spanking debate.
I do beleive in spanking in a normal Christian household, if it is needed as a last resort.
A few friends of mine were talking about it and what I realised was that we all meant different things when we talked of "a spanking." For example, I have a friend who I learnt swats her kids with a wooden spoon. To me, I would only spank with a bare hand, I don't feel using instruments is necessary.
If Beccy need a spanking, to me, this means I will generally explain to her why she is getting a spanking, then prop her over my knees and smack her 'bare bottom' a maximum of 3 or 4 times. Thats it.
Do you spank your child's bare bottom? And what does "a spanking" involve in your house?
I apologise if this goes against the principle of some non-spankers here on the boards, but I will repeat I only spank becuase I love her and want her to do good and I always end a spanking with a hug so she knows the slate has been wiped clean.
I would love to hear other parents take on this.
that doesn't sound so bad but, I found it very difficult to not do it out of anger so I had to stop. I'd slap my daughter when I lost my temper. If you can keep a handle on it though it is fine.
Reply With Quote
  #73  
Unread 24th July 2009, 11:35 PM
frostymom's Avatar
Newbie

42 Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Party: US-Democrat Country: United States Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 24th July 2009
Posts: 18
Blessings: 121,410
My Mood Sad
Reps: 11,800,923,906,601 (power: 11,800,923,912)
frostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond repute
frostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond reputefrostymom has a reputation beyond repute
We spank our kids too
Reply With Quote
  #74  
Unread 27th July 2009, 12:38 AM
Newbie

Gender: Female Faith: Non-Denominational Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 27th July 2009
Posts: 1
Blessings: 121,710
Reps: 10 (power: 0)
Obedient girl is on a distinguished road
My (adopted) Dad ALWAYS spanked me on my bare bottom, i don't ever remember him not doing, as soon as i knew i would be spanked i knew my pants were going to come off and i was bent over his lap. He was my disciplinarian and was the only one to spank me, he said it would prepare me for when i get a husband and obey him. He also had another punishment that didn't need spanking-but gauranteed a VERY sore bottom! when i needed one!, he would bare my bottom, lay me across a chair and with a small piece of sandpaper would rub my bottom, hard, for about 30 seconds, it didn't hurt much as he was rubbing it but after a minute felt like my bum was on fire. Then i stood in the corner, hands on my head, bottom on fire!. My poor bottom was red and burning like mad!! After half an hour Dad offered cream (which was very awkward-my Dad giving my bare bottom a good rub with cream)! but i let him-ANYTHING to ease the stinging!, infact i often said "give my bum a good rub Dad it's SO SO sore"!!, most girls would HATE their Dads rubbing their bottoms but i was sad he was angry and him massaging me felt nice-but of course i was VERY embarrassed too! but cream helped although it was sore for a good few days after. Then i wanted a cuddle (i loved him)...followed him everywhere..more than his biological ones. I learnt to obey him though and it worked a treat!.

Last edited by Obedient girl; 27th July 2009 at 12:45 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #75  
Unread 5th August 2009, 02:08 AM
momma6ntwins

43 Gender: Female Faith: Baptist Country: United States Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 3rd August 2009
Location: western colorado
Posts: 55
Blessings: 55,627
My Mood Amazed
Reps: 41,308,883,714,644 (power: 41,308,883,720)
tiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond repute
tiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond reputetiffyof6ntwins has a reputation beyond repute
In my eyes, a couple swats doesnt count as a spanking. I will often "pop" my childen on the butts when they arent listening to me and i have to constantly repeat myself. usually after 1 swat they clear up and do what they are to be doing. I do spank when absolutly needed. There are 4 things in my house rules that will result in a spanking, lying stealing cheating and disrespect. Lying is the biggest infraction in my house so we remind our children constantly what the consequences are!!!
Reply With Quote
  #76  
Unread 5th August 2009, 12:45 PM
Junior Member

Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 4th August 2009
Posts: 403
Blessings: 106,373
My Mood Fine
Reps: 9,147,908,068,631,582 (power: 9,147,908,068,637)
MLEN has disabled reputation
Hi guys,

I only spank on the bare bottom at home (not in public). I also was very calm when administering spanks and didn't spank in anger or out of frustration. I calmly explained to my child the reason why he was being spanked, would lay him on my lap and spank with bare hand about two times. It was important that he understood what he did wrong and that I still loved him despite his behavior.

Because my son can verbalize just about anything he feels and understands he would even tell me later that a spanking for something I may have been too lenient on would have made him stop certain negative behavior right away.

Each child is different. Some will be corrected by only a firm look or threat of punishment. But I know that what I did for my son through spanking earlier on worked for him. His behavior and attitude today reflects that toward me and others. And we must not forget that equally important is the amount of positive praise, hugs and kisses that we must give to our children when they do what is right and even out of the blue if for no other reason than we just love them.
Reply With Quote
  #77  
Unread 21st September 2011, 12:07 AM
notenufjooebubby's Avatar
In Jesus Name.Amen

Gender: Male Faith: Anabaptist Party: US-Libertarian Member For 3 Years
 
Join Date: 21st September 2011
Posts: 3
Blessings: 17,890
My Mood Thankful
Reps: 10 (power: 0)
notenufjooebubby has disabled reputation
Smile

Originally Posted by lw49033 View Post
We do spank, with a paddle and yes it is on the bare bottom. It's how DH and I were both spanked as kids.

It's not illegal, and above all it's not "sexual abuse" or sexual anything else. It's a spanking. Spanking with pants on makes about as much sense as taking a bath with pants on.


Yes I am very disturbed by a child's punishment being discussed as sexual. Whatever happened to training up the child in the way he should go?


We never saw the point of spanking over pants. When it's time for the first spanking we apply a few light swats with the wooden spoon just to get the child's attention. The child does stay in diaper, for this scenario. When they are out of diapers then yes it is always on the bare bottom and at that point we move to the paddle. This is easier on all parties. The few times we tried it over clothes we had to apply more force to make the punishment effective. Also the difference would confuse the child as it is not what they were accustom to.

Last edited by notenufjooebubby; 23rd September 2011 at 12:25 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Unread 21st September 2011, 12:17 AM
JRSut1000's Avatar
Newbie no more!

Gender: Female Married Faith: Messianic Country: United States Member For 3 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 20th August 2011
Location: United States of America
Posts: 4,805
Blessings: 6,068,821
My Mood Blessed
Blog Entries: 2
Reps: 949,385,376,986,330,496 (power: 949,385,376,986,338)
JRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond repute
JRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond repute
I don't recall Proverbs ever talking about disciplining over a bare bottom! In fact, I don't recall Proverbs referencing to the bottom at all! The rod is for the fool's back. I would assume this is definitely older than young childhood.

If they can't understand through words, then why would they understand via hitting?

I'm not anti-physical discipline. I'm anti-bare-bottom spanking! It's just wrong on so many levels.
__________________
Born-again, Spirit-filled, Torah Observant - believer in Messiah Y'shua (Jesus)!


To live in Your presence, beneath the shadow of Your wings
is all I ever want, because itís there I find everything I ever need forever.


Love & Truth are like an old married couple, you should never see one without the other!
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Unread 21st September 2011, 09:33 AM
Niffer's Avatar
Hook, Line and Sinker

27 Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Party: CA-Conservatives Country: Canada Member For 5 Years Armor Bearer
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 1st August 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,087
Blessings: 12,278,896
My Mood Lurking
Reps: 559,442,967,074,383,744 (power: 559,442,967,074,393)
Niffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond repute
Niffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond repute
Originally Posted by JRSut1000 View Post
I don't recall Proverbs ever talking about disciplining over a bare bottom! In fact, I don't recall Proverbs referencing to the bottom at all! The rod is for the fool's back. I would assume this is definitely older than young childhood.

If they can't understand through words, then why would they understand via hitting?

I'm not anti-physical discipline. I'm anti-bare-bottom spanking! It's just wrong on so many levels.

Most 3 year olds I know won't care to understand why its bad that he pushes his little brother, steals, or lies.
But he will understand that pushing brother = spanking = pain.
A spanking is useless if it doesn't hurt.
I got bare-bottomed spanked too - through clothing wouldn't of hurt and therefore made the disciplining useless.

I remember not caring that is was "wrong" to do ______, but if I knew that if I got caught, I'd get spanked, I'd seriously think twice about it.

Peace,
- Niff
__________________
"Strong complementarian women combine things the world cannot explain: a sweet, tender, kind, loving, submissive, feminine beauty, with massive steel in their backs, and theology in their brains." ~ John Piper


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Eco-friendly, baby-wearing, yoga-doing, line-drying, one-car owning,
extended breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, trail-running, herbalist-aspiring, small-town hippie, and ESFJ
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Unread 21st September 2011, 01:46 PM
JRSut1000's Avatar
Newbie no more!

Gender: Female Married Faith: Messianic Country: United States Member For 3 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 20th August 2011
Location: United States of America
Posts: 4,805
Blessings: 6,068,821
My Mood Blessed
Blog Entries: 2
Reps: 949,385,376,986,330,496 (power: 949,385,376,986,338)
JRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond repute
JRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond reputeJRSut1000 has a reputation beyond repute
What a child knows/doesn't know doesn't make it right on the parent's part to treat them this way. We aren't trying to train a beast (animal), but rather train up a child in the way he should go. It should not be brute force that causes obedience. Is that why we obey the Lord? I mean, if a child can't understand a moral thing yet, why hit the child for something they are not yet capable of understanding. Sure they understand pain, but does hitting them cause them to not want to hit others? It just doesn't make sense developmentally. If they are older and can understand, it's another matter. Sometimes taking away toys or technology just doesn't cut it. Like I said, I'm not against any form of physical discipline. But I am against 1) bare bottom spankings because it's a private part and 2) hurting a child who isn't capable of understanding discipline yet.
__________________
Born-again, Spirit-filled, Torah Observant - believer in Messiah Y'shua (Jesus)!


To live in Your presence, beneath the shadow of Your wings
is all I ever want, because itís there I find everything I ever need forever.


Love & Truth are like an old married couple, you should never see one without the other!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Return to Parenting

Thread Tools
Display Modes


 
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:00 AM.