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  #1  
Unread 8th February 2006, 09:41 PM
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spanking at daycare

I am so confused. My daughter is 3 yrs old, born in October 2002. She goes to a home day care. The lady who does the daycare is my best friends mom. She is also a pasters wife for a Weslyan (sp) church. But there is a problem.

to give a little detail. My husband and I had our daughtr 3 yrs after we got married. She was 100% planned and we love her very very much, as any parent would. She was 18 months old and wanted to be potty trained, she did very good w/ it and by the time she was 2 or 2 1/2 she was completely potty trained. We do believe that a child can be spanked, when doing something wrong, and you tell the child not do do that behavior, and if nt listening, then spanking is appropriate.

I have started noticing that every thing our daughtr does that is naughty, she runs holding her bottom saying it was an accident, pls don't spank me. What really bothers me is that for a while she was going through a phase about 6 months ago of wetting her pants. At first I just thought that she was forgetting to go, then it turned into, asking her and reminding her to go all of the time and having her look at me and say i just went potty in my pants. So it started to become a problem where we did give her a spanking when she repeatedly stood there and wet her pants. This continued and took her to the doctor, and he had a bladder infection. Got that all cleared up and no does nt wet her pants at all like she used to. But everytime she dribbles in her pants, the babysitter is giving her a spanking. I totally disagree w/ that, but i need some advice to see if I am the one who is off my rocker or if she is. I want to confront the babysitter, but I need ammuntion and back up on what is right and what is wrong.

Thanks
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  #2  
Unread 8th February 2006, 10:05 PM
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i guess it depends on what your wishes are in that daycare setting. i personally would take my child out of that situation. wouldnt matter if the mom assumed it was ok with me if my child was spanked.

the thought that someone would go ahead and use this as a form of punishment without asking me first would be a red flag for me.

i am a parent that believes in spanking. but only from me or my DH.


Originally Posted by fortheloveofmychild
I am so confused. My daughter is 3 yrs old, born in October 2002. She goes to a home day care. The lady who does the daycare is my best friends mom. She is also a pasters wife for a Weslyan (sp) church. But there is a problem.

to give a little detail. My husband and I had our daughtr 3 yrs after we got married. She was 100% planned and we love her very very much, as any parent would. She was 18 months old and wanted to be potty trained, she did very good w/ it and by the time she was 2 or 2 1/2 she was completely potty trained. We do believe that a child can be spanked, when doing something wrong, and you tell the child not do do that behavior, and if nt listening, then spanking is appropriate.

I have started noticing that every thing our daughtr does that is naughty, she runs holding her bottom saying it was an accident, pls don't spank me. What really bothers me is that for a while she was going through a phase about 6 months ago of wetting her pants. At first I just thought that she was forgetting to go, then it turned into, asking her and reminding her to go all of the time and having her look at me and say i just went potty in my pants. So it started to become a problem where we did give her a spanking when she repeatedly stood there and wet her pants. This continued and took her to the doctor, and he had a bladder infection. Got that all cleared up and no does nt wet her pants at all like she used to. But everytime she dribbles in her pants, the babysitter is giving her a spanking. I totally disagree w/ that, but i need some advice to see if I am the one who is off my rocker or if she is. I want to confront the babysitter, but I need ammuntion and back up on what is right and what is wrong.

Thanks
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  #3  
Unread 8th February 2006, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Godschosengirl
i guess it depends on what your wishes are in that daycare setting. i personally would take my child out of that situation. wouldnt matter if the mom assumed it was ok with me if my child was spanked.

the thought that someone would go ahead and use this as a form of punishment without asking me first would be a red flag for me.

i am a parent that believes in spanking. but only from me or my DH.
Thank you!!!
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  #4  
Unread 8th February 2006, 11:11 PM
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I agree- something like this should have been discussed with you before it ever happened. The first time your daughted did something the sitter felt deserved a spanking she should NOT have done it, but rather told you of the incident and said something like in the future if something like this should happen, can I spank her.

The fact that your daughter holds her bottom and begs not be be spanked when something naughty happens, should be a red flag to you that it is happening more than just an isolated incident. It sounds like your daughter is expecting to be punished.

Hope you get this resolved.
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  #5  
Unread 8th February 2006, 11:35 PM
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I don't think you need any "ammunition" when you confront the babysitter. She is your child and if you don't want the babysitter to spank her then she shouldn't. I don't think it needs to be a big confrontation either. Just tell her that you don't want her to spank your daughter anymore. Don't give any justification or apology. Good luck.
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  #6  
Unread 8th February 2006, 11:44 PM
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I don't think you need any "ammunition" when you confront the babysitter. She is your child and if you don't want the babysitter to spank her then she shouldn't. I don't think it needs to be a big confrontation either. Just tell her that you don't want her to spank your daughter anymore. Don't give any justification or apology. Good luck.
Totally agree!
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Unread 8th February 2006, 11:59 PM
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The daycare home that you have your child at must be unlicensed. I own a licensed daycare and spanking is not allowed.

I really feel sorry for your little girl, and hope that if you have to use a sitter while you work that you move her to a loving environment.
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  #8  
Unread 9th February 2006, 02:02 AM
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This situation makes me mad.
She has no right to spank your child, unless you give her permission. Not only that, but be prayerful and cautious before you decide to give permission to anyone for this type of discipline. I personally don't think it's a good idea, but you have to decide.
I agree with others that you don't need ammunition to confront this situation.
She's your child, you are her protector, and it's up to you to decide how she's raised.
I am not trying to rile you and get you worked up against your provider, she just was really in the out of line, and I hope that you will put up boundaries soon and I will pray for wisdom and grace for you, the right words, etc.
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  #9  
Unread 9th February 2006, 04:50 AM
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I would not allow *anyone* to spank my child except my husband and I. Spanking must be done appropriately, in love and with instruction. It should also be done only when a child is being rebellious, not when she has an accident. If I were you, I would take her out of this situation immediately, or she may develop emotional problems, if she hasn't already.
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  #10  
Unread 9th February 2006, 05:43 AM
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The babysitter has no right to spank your child, IMO you should complain, and remove your child from her, and warn any other parents.
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