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  #1  
Old 2nd February 2006, 11:33 PM
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Talent Show Ideas?

My 7 year old daughter is dying to be in her school's talent show. She's a tad shy, so I'm a bit worried, but I'm trying to encourage her a lot and hoping she'll be able to get over her shyness to go through with this. I'm really proud of her that she's showing such excitement about it. Maybe she's coming out of her shell a little bit.

Anyway, she says she wants to do something that will be funny...to make the audience laugh. I suggested that she read a poem (since it's something on her level that she can get through quickly if she gets scared...I didn't tell her that, but that's what I'm thinking). She thinks a funny poem is a good idea...she's excited about that. But I need some good ideas for really funny poems. Most of the ones we've found online so far she just thinks are kind of dumb.

Any ideas?

BTW, she also mentioned she'd like to read a book or a story, but it would have to be short enough to fit into a 2-3 minutes time frame.

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  #2  
Old 2nd February 2006, 11:35 PM
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Oh, a little more info...she's an excellent reader, so she can handle something up to about 4-5 stanzas.
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  #3  
Old 3rd February 2006, 09:47 PM
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Shel Silverstein is a great kids poet. Very funny. I am sure the library near you would carry them. Vanessa
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Old 22nd June 2007, 12:05 AM
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Here are some ideas that we used at our church camp through the years:

Mine: I dressed up as a cowgirl and played fiddle tunes! As an added touch of humor, I entered the room using a toy horse.

From other members of my church:
One couple dressed up as the clown (husband) and "Cat in the Hat" (wife). Together they did a very funny show that was extremely memorable. The clown (husband) also rode his unicycle during their show. The "Cat in the Hat," (wife) played the supporting role by holding up cue signs such as "Applause" for the audience to follow along during the show.

A woman did a really cute show by dressing herself as half woman and half man. She did some really clever lip sync work! When the recording was a woman's voice, she turned to her feminine side, and when the recording was a man's voice, she turned to her "masculine" side. That show was a great hit that made all of us laugh very hard!

I hope you find these ideas helpful. With yearly talent shows, I have found that you really have to be creative and sometimes humorous in order to make a memorable impact. Costumes and using interesting themes help out. I hope these ideas help you out in planning for your shows.
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  #5  
Old 22nd June 2007, 05:19 AM
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Here's a poem that we've got in a children's book of poems. Admitedly the pictures drawn with it help make it so funny, but anyway....

Winter Clothes

Under my hood I have a hat
And under that
My hair is flat.
Under my coat
My sweater's blue.
My sweater's red.
I'm wearing two.
My muffler muffles to my chin
And round my neck
And then tucks in.
My gloves were knitted
By my aunts.
I've mittens too
And pants
And pants
And boots
And shoes
With socks inside.
The boots are rubber, red and wide.
And when I walk
I must not fall
Because I can't get up at all.

Karla Kuskin

Last edited by sparassidae; 22nd June 2007 at 05:21 AM. Reason: typo
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  #6  
Old 22nd June 2007, 11:38 AM
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You can probably find some cute ones on the internet. Here's a couple funny poems I found.:

My Hippo Has the Hiccups

My hippo has the hiccups and his hiccups shake the ground.The floor is always rumbling when my hippo is around.I bought him at the pet store But I missed a small detail.I didn't see the sign said:"Hiccupotamus for sale."--Kenn Nesbitt


My Robot's Misbehaving

My robot's misbehaving.It won't do as I say.It will not dust the furniture or put my toys away.My robot never helps me with homework or my chores.It doesn't do my laundry and neglects to clean my floors.It claims it can't cook dinner.It never makes my bed.No matter what I ask of it,it simply shakes its head.My robot must be broken.I'll need to get another.Until that day, I have to say,I'm glad I have my mother.--Kenn Nesbitt


My Doggy Ate My Homework
by Dave Crawley
"My doggy ate my homework.
He chewed it up," I said.
But when I offered my excuse
My teacher shook her head.
I saw this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t want to fail.
Before she had a chance to talk,
I added to the tale:
"Before he ate, he took my work
And tossed it in a pot.
He simmered it with succotash
Till it was piping hot.
"He scrambled up my science notes
With eggs and bacon strips,
Along with sautéed spelling words
And baked potato chips.

"He then took my arithmetic
And had it gently fried.
He broiled both my book reports
With pickles on the side.
"He wore a doggy apron
As he cooked a notebook stew.
He barked when I objected.
There was nothing I could do."
"Did he wear a doggy chef hat?"
My teacher gave a scowl.
"He did," I said. "And taking it
Would only make him growl."
My teacher frowned, but then I said
As quickly as I could,
"He covered it with ketchup,
And he said it tasted good."
"A talking dog who likes to cook?"
My teacher had a fit.
She sent me to the office,
And that is where I sit.
I guess I made a big mistake
In telling her all that.
’Cause I don’t have a doggy.
It was eaten by my cat.
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  #7  
Old 22nd June 2007, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by greenessa View Post
Shel Silverstein is a great kids poet. Very funny. I am sure the library near you would carry them. Vanessa
Ditto. Silverstein is the master of the goofy poem There are lots of samples online. Here's one I found:

The Loser
from the book "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (1974)

Mama said I'd lose my head
if it wasn't fastened on.
Today I guess it wasn't
'cause while playing with my cousin
it fell off and rolled away
and now it's gone.

And I can't look for it
'cause my eyes are in it,
and I can't call to it
'cause my mouth is on it
(couldn't hear me anyway
'cause my ears are on it),
can't even think about it
'cause my brain is in it.
So I guess I'll sit down
on this rock
and rest for just a minute...
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  #8  
Old 23rd June 2007, 09:38 AM
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Im not a parent but I saw this and wanted to help....


DOUBLE-TAIL DOG

Would you like to buy a dog with a tail at either end?
He is quite the strangest dog there is in town.
Though he's not too good at knowing
just exactly where he's going,
He is very very good at sitting down.
He doesn't have a place to put a collar,
And I'll admit it's rather hard to lead him,
And he cannot hear you call
For he has no ears at all,
But it doesn't cost a single cent to feed him.
He cannot bite, he'll never bark or growl,
Just scratch him on his tails, he'll find it pleasing.
But you'll have to take him out
For twice as many walks,
And I'll bet that you can quickly guess the reason

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  #9  
Old 27th June 2007, 07:26 PM
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I love these!
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  #10  
Old 28th June 2007, 11:47 AM
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Heather, go to your local library and check out:

Where the sidewalk ends.

It's a great book filled with silly stories and poems! I loved it as a child!
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