My mother and father in-law gave my husband quite the lecture today. They feel that we are overprotecting our son because he doesn't ride the bus to and from school. In our town there are a lot of parents who do not put their kids on the bus, the school lobby is packed morning and afternoon, day after day with the same parents. On average I would guess that aprrox. 100 kids are transported to and from school each day. It's not like we are the only ones doing this.
It has been reported in the papers and we have seen with our own eyes, the bus drivers in our town breaking the speed limits, making very unsafe moves with the buses and there is a lot of free reign for the kids on the busses.
We are trying very hard to raise our kids right. We want them to have values and goals and most importantly a love for God and Jesus. We want that to be a strong foundation for them. The things we see on the drive to and from school each day also helped make our decision. 7-10 year olds swearing at each other, we once saw a kid pelting rocks at another child, and once a child chasing another child with a pair of scissors. And this was in the location around the two elementary schools.
I know these are the realities of a lot of public schools, but I don't see why we have to throw our child completely into it. The reason the whole disagreement took place today was because my husband and I will be buying a car for me, from a family member so that when my husband starts working second shift next month, I will still be able to transport my son. They see it as a waste of money and an excuse to be overbearing with our child. Did I mention that he doesn't want to ride the bus anyway.
So what would anyone else do in this situation? And do you think we are being overprotective. I stated why the lecture took place today, but this disagreement has been going on since last september. It's getting old.
I think you have logical reasons for what you are doing. I don't know where you live, but it doesn't sound like someplace I'd want to raise my children Sorry to hear that your inlaws are giving you such a hard time. They raised their children the way they thought best and should allow you to do the same.
I guess we have it pretty good here. Our bus drivers here are great ... here in our little town the high school, middle school and elementary are all on the same street and they all ride the bus together. I like the idea that my 15 year old watches out for my five year old. So far there haven't been any problems. Their bus driver is very strict - absolutely no swearing and no getting out of the seats or hanging out the window - very safe.
Last week my son (the five year old) forgot to get off at his stop (his brother had to stay after school for practice) ... I called the school and they contacted the bus driver, but she knew he was still on the bus before we reached her ... the other kids at the stop were all apologetic saying that "they" should have looked after him!!! The bus driver also apologized for overlooking him. It was no big deal to him - he had a great time riding the bus and seeing where all the kids get off. LOL My point is that this being such a small town we all look after each other and are quick to help out.
The high school is presently under construction (renovating/adding on) and so the parking lot and entrance to the schools is torn up and crowded with construction equipment etc etc So there is no way that the number of parents you all have transporting their children to school would work here. There really isn't a reason for folks here to drive their children to school, unless they missed the bus - we are in such a remote, rural area that our schools are shut down whenever there's too much rain cause a lot of the bus routes are back roads over one lane bridges.
If I were in your shoes, I would probably want to drive my boys, too.
((((hugs))))
__________________ There are no unwanted children, I want them, give them to me. ~ Mother Theresa
Stick to it. If the argument is getting old it's time to tell them to stop bringing it up, your decision is final. And if they do bring it up again smile and change the subject.
Your'e not overprotective for driving your kids to school, good grief. More parents should be as concerned as you are for their children's safety and sense of security. You've noted numerous concerns with your bus program and I think your concerns are not out of line.
__________________ "Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else." ~Dave Ramsey
I'm not a parent....but I was a child who hated taking the bus to school. It wasn't that my parents didn't care that I rode the bus....neither of them could drop me off at school. (Though once I got to high school, for one year my dad was able to drop me off because of his work schedule...but I had to take the bus home.)
I think it's great that you can take your child to and from school...for whatever reason. I also don't think you're overprotective.
__________________ Qui-Gon Jenn
If you want to arrange it This world you can change it If we could somehow make this Christmas thing last By helping a neighbor Or even a stranger And to know who needs help You need only just ask -"Old City Bar" by The Trans-Siberian Orchestra
"Do not give up hope, even in your darkest hour when all hope seems to escape and is choked by the storm- the Eternal Light burns forever and conquers all. He is the Alpha and the Omega, your Lord, the Beginning and the End, Amen."
-jko
"My heart is restless in me, my wings are all worn out... I need you, blessed Savior."
-The Swift
"Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee... Knees to the Earth, I bow down to everything You are."
-Watermark
jko, can you tell me why you think we are being a little overprotective?
LilyLamb, Lucypevensie, brian_z_babe, and AngelAmidala thank you for being supportive. I feel that the decisions we make for our children are right for us. My husbands parents may have done it differently but their job of raising children has been over for a few years now. I don't mean that to sound rude. I appreciate any advice they can offer, however I wish they would understand where the advice ends.
Right before school started, they had my son in tears trying to make him promise to ride the bus. We try to always include our children in these choices, we asked our son if he wanted to ride the bus and he said no. So at least the three of us are in agreement :-)
Thanks again for your opinions. I really appreciate it.
This is hard, because you want to be respectful to your in-laws, and you want your son to see that you respect his grandparents.
I'm sure they feel, "Hey, we raised our son okay, so we know what we are doing!"
But even if all of you live in the same town where your husband grew up, times change. Your in-laws probably don't want to admit that kids are dealing drugs on elementary school yards, and that middle school kids are joining gangs and whaling the tar out of each other.
Unless they see a grandchild in actual DANGER, I feel grandparents should allow the parents to raise the child.
In my mind, the "overprotection" that you lavish on a younger child empowers that same child to overcome the temptations when he is older. You are sending the message, "I care about you. You are important to me."
How old is your son? If he's seven, then keep doing what you are doing, what feels best to you. If he's thirteen, maybe he needs to have a little independence. Ultimately, though, I'd talk to your son. How does HE feel about it? If he makes you drop him off two blocks from the school and refuses to let you kiss him goodbye, LOL, I'd say that's a good indicator. But if he's happy to see you in the afternoon when you pick him up, I'd say, enjoy it! Those little boy kisses won't be around forever.
I agree with the other post's.
We homeschool our kids, and that gets strange looks arounf the holidays too. I just refer back to Genesis 2:24 " A man shall leave his father and mother..."
You know what is right for your family, and your situation. Like what has said before. Also, kids are accosted(sp) by bullies and stuff on the bus. It seams it would give the child a better sence of security when the parent drive them to school.
Maybe you should tell them that after THEY initiate, set-up and campaign for safer buses/bus stops and changes are made so that buses really are safer then you will allow your children to ride the bus.
__________________ There are no unwanted children, I want them, give them to me. ~ Mother Theresa
Sorry to hear that your inlaws are giving you such a hard time. They raised their children the way they thought best and should allow you to do the same.
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