Looking for opinions

So I'm an 18 year old from Pennsylvania. For the past year I have had a lot of weird things happen to me. I'm desperately seeking people's opinions about them to prove my sanity (or so I hope).

This will be a long post, so I'll be surprised if anyone actually reads this.

Some background information; I went to church with my family when I was 6, and then we stopped for 8 years and tried picking up on it again...pretty unsuccessful. I went through a period where I believed God hateful, and another when I believed He wasn't real. It wasn't until the beginning of 2005 that I *really* believed, and what made that happen was a dream I had in February. Since that I've asked Jesus to be my savior and want to attend a Christian college to be involved in ministry work.

So here was the dream I had;

I was standing with my back to the wall in my bathroom. The door was open and my family was across the hall in the living room, talking excitedly. A girl in her mid 20's with short blonde hair walks down the front stairs, past my family and into the bathroom. She stares in the mirror and sees a mark on her forehead. She walks to my family and asks them what it could be; they tell her the mark of the 144,000. Then a beam of white light shines down from the ceiling and the outline of Jesus is formed. At this time, as I was sleeping, my body began to shake and vibrate. The girl turns to me and says, "Rebecca come on." Then I hear my brother say the same words as if he were standing over my bed as I slept. I wake up, he's just coming down the stairs and my body is still shaking.

I denied the dream because it sounded crazy, and then I got another dream. This one was more dream-like; Jesus had come to me with a task to go to people I knew and tell them to change their ways.

So I denied that one too.

I got another.

I was standing on a cliff overlooking an ocean. A loud voice spoke to me from the clouds and it scared me, so I ran. I found a door that opened to a little cave-like room and locked it, then huddled to the back. The door opens with no force and in walks Jesus. He stood before me and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven with me?" I took it to mean that He meant at the precise moment and fearing the end of my mortal life I asked Him if I could at a later time, and He said yes. He then told me I didn't have a close, personal relationship with Him. Then He left me soon after. I ran to my father and told him what happened and he didn't believe me. A curious crowd of people formed and I walked them to the cave which now was gone with the exception of the door; which was still locked. Seeing the locked door they started to believe me, but I found these white hairs in my hand and for some reason handed them to the people...and they were happy, overjoyed even to recieve them.

Besides these dreams I've had some weird experiences.

A few months ago I was sitting at my computer when I felt this cold breeze from my left overcome me and the air was knocked from my lungs. I was gasping for air for a few seconds when I felt this force push down on my shoulders, rendering me unable to get up from my chair. I had to use all of my energy to stand up, and when I did I shook my body which soon after stopped it.

Also, there was a week 2 months ago in which I had these terrible thoughts that I knew weren't my own. I was being driven crazy by them, trying to shove them out of my head, and when I couldn't, I sat down and prayed. I prayed to God and begged that whatever was making me think such bad things to please go away. I said it over and over, each time more loudly and with more feeling until I felt this...thing...being extracted from my leg. I prayed louder and louder until I felt it completely taken out and when it was this peace, and harmony came upon me. Just pure happiness and bliss. I never felt anything like it before.

There are many more things like this but I won't waste any more of your time. This is what I have experienced and I need to know the source...or just, an explanation...anything. I told my family this and they're 'worried' for me, I'm not sure if they believe me or not. I just need some kind of help, and if anyone could I would be so grateful.

First of all, YOU'RE NOT CRAZY!!

You have unusually clear spiritual sight, but you are NOT crazy!

Both of the dreams you describe are, I believe, from God, and they are confirming your path in Him.

Often when an unknown woman appears in a dream and in some form or fashion directs you, this is a representation of the direction of the Holy Spirit. I'm not going to get into theology about the 144,000 right now, because I think that would distract from the real point of this dream, which is that you are being CALLED. The shaking and vibrating is not unusual when you are experiencing the presence of Jesus. Sometimes our bodies don't know how to respond.

Read this, the calling of the prophet Isaiah, from the beginning of chapter 6 of the book of Isaiah:
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!" And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: "Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts." Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged." Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." And He said, "Go...."

I don't want to over-analyze here, because something is happening with you in the spirit, and it is precious and meant to be understood by you. You are receiving from the Lord some gifts that many people will not understand, but they are needed in the Body of Christ. You are going to be one who will see in the spiritual realm and be able to help others to see and understand the Kingdom of Heaven.

"Truly, truly I tell you, unless a person is born from above he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

I'm finding my spirit praying for you that you will lay hold of this thing, and I see you jumping onto the back end of a train, hanging on, as the train goes speeding down the track, it's gonna take you places in the spirit........ Dont be afraid! This is of God!

The second dream you got about telling people to change their ways - that has to do with your call - it won't look exactly like in your dream, but the Lord will give you grace. Don't worry, He won't revoke your call just because you denied that dream.
The third dream you had brings to mind this scripture:

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
(from Psalm 139 -- read the whole chapter, it'll bless you)

And next time Jesus asks you if you want to go to Heaven, say YES - you won't regret it. He was just going to let you visit, He wasn't talking about death. When your relationship gets closer and more personal, you'll discern more easily what He means, and you will never be afraid of Him or afraid to do what He asks! Your earthly father is not your father in the spirit, so he will never understand you.

He came to His hometown and began teaching them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? Is not this the carpenter's son? Is not His mother called Mary, and His brothers, James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And His sisters, are they not all with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" And they took offense at Him. But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household." And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief.
(Matthew 13:54-58)

You may need to stop sharing this stuff with your earthly family - remember what happened to Joseph when he shared his dreams..... they didn't understand. I pray that the Lord will send you people to help you in this walk. There are many churches where the people will not receive you, where they will think you are crazy, because although we may see in the Kingdom of God if we are born again, many choose not to, and many more go to churches where they think people no longer see. It's very sad. I wonder if you live near Lancaster, by any chance - if so, pm me and I'll give you the name of a seer-friendly church that I recently found out about.

Anyway, back to that third dream. If you walk in places where this type of revelation is welcome, there is another extreme people will go to - people will think you are some kind of special super-human person and gather around you - in which case you will need to point them back to Jesus. Hopefully, they will receive wisdom from your hand, for the Lord is going to give you a supernatural gift of wisdom.... the white hairs, I perceive, are supernatural wisdom.

The experience you had sitting at your computer, with the cold breeze - that was definitely a spirit coming against you trying to make you afraid. But in Christ you have no reason to fear; these spirits cannot harm you as long as you remain in Him.

And about the "terrible thoughts" - you are right that they were not yours - you do not need to beg and plead for them to be taken away, you have the authority in Christ to take them captive yourself and focus yourself upon things that are praiseworthy and virtuous. I am glad to see you had the victory.

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ!
2 Corinthians 10:5

God bless you, He HAS blessed you!

tal

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Pursue love, yet desire earnestly spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.
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Aiedail,
Welcome to the forum! It sounds like you have some exciting pathways ahead!

Tal did a beautiful job of interpreting your dream, so I don't want to take away from that. Just know that you are not crazy, and you might even have to guard your words and visions among your Christian school friends--we all have different backgrounds and cautions. Your family--they're just trying to do their job.

A minor thing, I had the impression that when you ran to your father, it symbolized your own sense of reason. Not sure why I needed to mention that.

If you want confirmation about the evil forces that come against you, you can stop by the deliverance forum and read of some others' experiences--it really gives you a sense of what you're up against in the invisible world. As Tal said, you have no reason to fear--just tell them to take a hike.

http://www.christianforums.com/f484-...-ministry.html

I enjoyed the part about telling Jesus you didn't want to go yet--that seemed authentic, from both sides. It represents well how He leads us and understands our feelings...and how you were honest with Him about your reservations.

Feel free to PM people here with specifics that you don't want sitting in permanent public view.

Amazing stuff- please keep us updated about your experiences- I find them fascinating! You are truly blessed!

Thanks so much you guys. I hadn't doubted in what I've been going through until my parents second guessed me...guess my world kind of shook a bit. I really want them to understand, since I'm so close to them. I really want to be able to confide in someone that I know and trust...it's hard not being able to talk openly about these things with the people I care about.

As for Tal's interpretations, I think they're pretty accurate. For the third one, about the hairs, I was also told by a NCCG minister that they meant wisdom. Actually not shortly after I had that dream a bunch of my friends just started to up and talk about God and their doubts about Him, when I had never known them to be spiritual at all. Of course I talk to them about it, and they always seem to walk away with more understanding; which I most certaintly am pleased by.

Tal, I actually live in Lancaster, so what church do you mean? Anything you guys have to say you can say here, I don't mind at all.

While I'm getting these off of my chest I feel the need to prattle on ^ ^

Do any of you believe in ghosts? Twice I've had weird encounters where I'll be standing in a room and all of a sudden I'll feel another presence and turn around, only to discover nothing's there. Also many times I've felt presences actually sweep into my room from the door and leave through the wall. The whole feel of the room changes and I can distincticely feel something breeze through, so much I can make out what kind of form it has.

Back when the Passion of the Christ was just released on DVD, I was sitting in my room watching tv. The commerical for it came on, and there was this part where there's this water droplet dangling above Jesus' head, until it finally drops onto his forehead. At the precise moment that it did, I felt like a droplet had fallen onto my very own, so much that I put my hand to my forehead to feel for water. Of course there was none.

One more;
I have always wondered, "Is God proud of me?" I want to make Him proud so much, and I just hope that He is. So there's this Magic 8 Ball type thing on the internet I found the other day. I started off with basic questions, "Will I marry?" "Will I be happy" yadda yadda yadda. Then I asked it "Is God proud of me?" As soon as I did the whole room felt blank...like all of the air and life was sucked out of it and I was sitting in a vacuum of space. I got this weird, "You shouldn't have to ask that" feeling, and then the answer came on the 8 ball came back, "Indeed, yes!" and everything went back to normal.

Okay, I am being a complete blabbermouth but I just feel like I can talk to you guys easily about these things. Though everytime I type something I fear that you'll think me odd.

Oh, and I'm wondering if anyone can help me on this; I want to help people for a living, give them advice and so forth, but I want to be able to talk about God as well...being a normal psychiatrist I don't think that's allowed. Does anyone know how I can do this and what the title is called?

Thanks so much,
Becca

hey, Becca! I'm going to come back later and respond more to your post, I just wanted to go ahead and give you the name of that church -- I don't know why I had a feeling about the Lancaster thing (yes I do ).....

The Lord's House of Prayer
133 E. Vine Street
Lancaster, PA

I think the pastor there is still Mark King.

They have special prayer/intercession meetings there on the first and third Saturdays of each month where people use the arts, including dancing, singing, painting, sketching, and playing of various musical instruments; that's how I found out about them, since my husband is an artist and we get emails from Artists' Junction.

I'll talk at ya later.....

blessings
tal

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Oh, and I'm wondering if anyone can help me on this; I want to help people for a living, give them advice and so forth, but I want to be able to talk about God as well...being a normal psychiatrist I don't think that's allowed. Does anyone know how I can do this and what the title is called?

yes you can! it's called Christian counseling. these are professional licensed counselors who's practice is dedicated to God. they counsel from a Christian perspective. often they will team up with other Christians who are experts in managing money or who are drug or alcoholic counselors, or Christian physicians and form a group practice. Look in your Yellow Pages under Christian counseling.

Thanks guys

Tal I'll try to visit, maybe get my parents to tag along even.

And thanks pdudgeon, do all Christian colleges offer that?

And this just happened to me a few minutes ago. I was in bed tossing and turning to fall asleep. At night to fall asleep I need to at least have the tv turned on; the glow casts a good enough light. I had my eyes closed for a few minutes, trying to drift to sleep. Well I turned over, opened them, and saw a person! Like they were standing just a few inches from me. It seemed masculine, I saw a white and blue striped buttoned shirt. They seemed so real I thought it was my father who was waking me to tell me something but when I looked up it flickered away.

My heart is still pounding. Honestly...my mom wonders why I can't sleep at night ^ ^

You can also offer your services to churches. Tell them you're available, they can send clients your way who are looking for a Christian psychiatrist.

I had to study the Hippocratic Oath while studying to become a medical transcriptionist and I don't recall anything in it that would prevent you from helping your patients from your Christian perspective. The ancient Hippocratic oath opened like this:

"To swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgement this oath and this covenant." ...

Just for everyone else's edification today's modern version opens like this:

"I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgement, this convenant."

It seems to me you can swear this oath just as easily to the one true God as you can to yourself or to a bevy of gods. In the oath is mentioned, "Above all, I must not play God." But there is nothing in that that says you can't confer God's wisdom on your patients.

Linda

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Okay, about ghosts...... I believe that we can see things and even people that are not there physically. What I believe you are feeling when you feel "presences" is spirit beings - not ghosts but either angels or demonic entities. I don't believe people "hang around" after they have died; that's what modern media has programmed us to believe. For everything you need to know, sister, go back to the Bible. You need to be grounded in the Word of God, or you will be like a kite without a guide-string, just floating around out there in the spiritual realm, guessing at things.... Also why you need a good group of Christians to hang with, especially some more grounded in the Word than you are.

And the Magic 8 ball type stuff. That is divination. Something you as a seer especially need to stay AWAY from. Whatever form of knowledge and wisdom does not stem from God is displeasing to him, and when you turn to it, even if it's only "in fun," you can grieve the Holy Spirit, and you may not hear a word from Him when you need to. Now, this may not seem to effect other people as deeply as it does you and I, because by our nature, our God-given personality, we are driven to seek out the heart of God and reveal it to others, and if we have grieved Him, there's like a log-jam in the spirit.... does that make sense to you? When we grieve the Holy Spirit - it's like the "vacuum" that you sensed.... I've done that in my lifetime, and sometimes it's months before we get out of that feeling.

Here's a scripture for you to ponder:
Then some elders of Israel came to me and sat down before me. And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts and have put right before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity. Should I be consulted by them at all? Therefore speak to them and tell them, `Thus says the Lord GOD, "Any man of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, puts right before his face the stumbling block of his iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the LORD will be brought to give him an answer in the matter in view of the multitude of his idols, in order to lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel who are estranged from Me through all their idols."' Therefore say to the house of Israel, `Thus says the Lord GOD, "Repent and turn away from your idols and turn your faces away from all your abominations. "For anyone of the house of Israel or of the immigrants who stay in Israel who separates himself from Me, sets up his idols in his heart, puts right before his face the stumbling block of his iniquity, and then comes to the prophet to inquire of Me for himself, I the LORD will be brought to answer him in My own person. I will set My face against that man and make him a sign and a proverb, and I will cut him off from among My people. So you will know that I am the LORD...."
(from Ezekiel 14)

About the Christian counseling thing..... my advice to you would be to get a degree in psychology and at the same time get spiritual counseling and mentorship from some good Christian people outside of your college, and pray for the Lord to illumine your path. The training you get from Him will be far greater than any training you could get in school, but many times even churches will not hire a would-be counselor who does not have the degree. The degree is more about proving yourself to be diligent than anything else. Psychology is not a Christian discipline, per se, so you will need, again, to stay VERY grounded in the Word of God, with people around you who can keep you where you need to be spiritually. Even at "Christian" colleges, there are abundant opportunities to sin and stray after friendships, fun, drugs, and everything imaginable that would lead you away from God. I know. I went that way -- and I will pay for it for the rest of my life.

I am speaking to you in a very serious way, but it's because you have a very serious calling, and I don't want you to be shipwrecked as I was.

God bless you, sister
tal

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1 Corinthians 14:1