A silent killer..............

I lost my mom in Feb of 2000 to cancer.
She went to the Dr for a stomach pain, It turned out she had a tumor in her stomach that had metastasized from another source.
She found out a week later that she had Colo-Rectal cancer.
She faought it for 2 years and endured the chemo and all the stuff associated with it. Hardly complained that I ever heard.

She went from stage 2 I guess at first and after many months of treatments, Went to stage 4 which I have heard is the highest of the scale. I might be wrong, If I am please correct me.

I had just gone thru a divorce and had moved back home to try to help with things while my Dad continued working.
Kind of tough thing to do after being on my own since I was 18.
My mom and I had had our differences while I grew up and it made things difficult at first.
I had also been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder several years earlier and it came to be a common ground we often talked about LATE into the nite when neither of us could sleep.
Many a nite we were up til 3 and 4 am talking about this and that and coming to understand each other after years of disputes and other problems.
At 3 am I was woken up by something. I can't explain it really.
Just that something was telling me the time was near.

I was at the head of the bed that early morning when she asked where I was and told me to take care of myself, be a man, and be good.


She looked at my baby sister and told her the same thing.

Then turning to my Dad, She said I love you and tried to give him a hug.
She took her last breath moments later.

Almost 6 years later and I still bawl like a baby when I think about her and why this had to happen. I need an umbrella for my keyboard now.

Thats very sad and one day I may have to go through it

The Comfort of Christ's Coming
13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who *sleep in Jesus.
15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.

But you can keep her in your heart always and know she is with God now if she had Christ and if you still feel sad weep until God calls you to stop ??

While sitting at the computer writing that post yesterday, I felt this intense emotion come over me. I thought I had dealt with it til now. I realize now I still need to work thru the grief of losing her.
She was saved and I know is in a much better place, No pain, No sorrow.
I do wonder somedays if I could ever be as strong as she was. Given the same situation.

God be with you I'ddie4him

Thank you so much for that mike, Today has been a very trying day for me all around.
My bipolar is manifesting itself more lately and I have been up and down like a yoyo most of the day.

My wife just lost a co-worker this past sunday to cancer as well. She just got back home a little bit ago from the memorial service for her.
She was married for 34 years, Left a husband and 2 kids. She was 54.

My mom was 59 when she passed in 2000. My parents had been together for 39 years.

So hard to fathom somedays how a life can be cut short by something that is no respecter of persons, creed, race, or religion. I sincerly hope a cure is found soon for this and so many other diseases.

I am sorry you lost your mother, she sounds like she was a wonderful women and how blessed you were to have been able to spend the time with her that you did and get to know and understand each other. It takes a long time to fully grieve the loss of a loved one so don't be too hard on yourself. God bless you.

It is hard somedays and others not so bad.
Mostly on the b-days and stuff it is real bad.
I know she is looking down and watching my son grow and expand his own world.
I wish that she could be here to see him and spend time with him.
I also know he would be so spoiled rotten too. She loved all her grand kids. Spoiled each and every one of them too.
She was a good one for that.

Originally Posted by I'ddie4him

I know she is looking down and watching my son grow and expand his own world.
I wish that she could be here to see him and spend time with him.

Dear Matt's Dad,
Curiously, would you re-view what you wrote, for in it you may find *comfortingpeace*.

While your mom is invisible to you mortally, you did acknowledge "I know she is looking down and watching my son grow...". Yes, she can - and may very well be doing just that! and
who knows how often *your sweet mom & your sweet son* have already "spend timetogether..." - of which
you may be unawares, mostly. In case you don't remember, very young children may share such experiences... But sadly adults having, her/himself, been taught to
wall-off (essential Spirit-self = their Real-self), will ignorantly also preach this to their tiny children.

Some children choose these God-blessed abilities enabled anyway, with further ways of "I'll-live-for-Him". And it is my prayer that *you* 2 will bless this child entrusted into your care for same Godly Love-blessings.
Jesus and your mom want, so much, for you to simply *Live Happy Fully*.
LOVE to you, sweet Jesuschild - Allow yourself basking in it always...

*Wings To Fly is praying for her brother in Christ.

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