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  #1  
Old 15th July 2005, 10:22 AM
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Sexually frustrated?

Is there anything one can do when you feel so close to someone all you want to do is be with them? But you know that you can't because you wouldn't want to take or give anything from your future spouse whom is not necessarily the one you are with.
Saying goodbye to her is extremely difficult. Whether it is on the phone, or in person. I never want to leave and it doesn't help that she feels exactly the same way as I do lol. But last night after I finally broke loose from her arms and gave her a quick kiss (we used to kiss longer, but decided that we shouldn't do that anymore for the tme being) I felt extremely frustrated. Her and I have never done anything to dishonor the Lord but feeling so close to someone and not being able to express that is really starting to wear me down. And I know it's the same for her. (holding a high standard is NOT fun)
You should probably know that whenever I do have to say goodbye to her, its usually at night-time when we are more tired. (Do emotions/desires increase at nighttime??) And you should also know that the nights where it is most difficult to say goodbye are nights where we have spent a lot of time hugging (whether cuddling, or just an over dosage of hugging (is there such a thing?) because she or I was a away for a few days)
I know that as the man I need to take some lead here and starve the situations where we are alone and playing with fire. Its so hard though after you have shared them with your wonderful SO and know how great they can be. (I'm talking just about cuddling)

Can I just ask a question to all the people out there that courted their spouse successfully for three years or so? Did you find problems like this in your courtship? Did you feel frustrated sexually? Is there any hope? What makes it easier?

She and I have 2 to 3 years before marriage is plausible. Just an added tidbit.
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  #2  
Old 15th July 2005, 10:43 AM
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How old are you?
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  #3  
Old 15th July 2005, 11:25 AM
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I can identify with you. My SO and I have been together for 1.5 years and will be married next summer. We are doing all we can to be pure and we have boundaries. BUT sometimes every fibre of me wants to be able to give myself to him as a way of showing how I feel. Sometimes I cry when I say goodbye in the evenings because its such an awful wrench. I'd like nothing more than to sleep next to him, or wake next to him. I want to exist in the same house as him sharing our lives and our bodies.

Other times however its fine, I am able to be patient, knowing one day it'll be 'our time' and I feel proud to know on our wedding night we will have proved our love for each other and for God by waiting.

I empathise.

Have quality time, hugging, talking and going on fun dates in the meantime. One day (God permitting) it will be 'your time'.
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  #4  
Old 15th July 2005, 11:58 AM
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I am almost 19 and she is almost 18.
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  #5  
Old 15th July 2005, 03:17 PM
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I definitely know how it is. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you. I wish I did!
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Old 15th July 2005, 06:25 PM
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Three years?

Goodness, I couldn't do it.... although for me it's more about not having the commitment finalized, than about waiting for the physical. Waiting for that really has not been hard for me. I honestly can't relate about the cuddling thing either... that doesn't make me want to do anything more, not even a bit... it's enough.

Fiance and I are marrying exactly 8 months after we got together. We were engaged before 4 months.
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  #7  
Old 15th July 2005, 07:18 PM
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Originally Posted by invisiblebabe
Three years?

Goodness, I couldn't do it.... although for me it's more about not having the commitment finalized, than about waiting for the physical. Waiting for that really has not been hard for me. I honestly can't relate about the cuddling thing either... that doesn't make me want to do anything more, not even a bit... it's enough.

Fiance and I are marrying exactly 8 months after we got together. We were engaged before 4 months.
Wow, that's fast. Maybe if other people got married that quickly they wouldn't have any problems either! You're very blessed!
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  #8  
Old 16th July 2005, 12:40 PM
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Yes it is very common to have those struggles. I can give you advice about how to make it better, but you won't like it. Stop cuddling and hugging on her all the time. Don't make out. The fact is, you get more turned on that way. Eventually it will be hard to stop at that. Spend more time going out and less time at home or anywhere where you are alone. And the nighttime thing is VERY common too. Don't stay out too late because your defense weakens. Spend more time with friends too and not alone one on one. There is no purpose in being alone one on one alone too much if you can't get married for 2-3 years and aren't even sure she is the one.
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Old 16th July 2005, 10:18 PM
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Hmm... i get like this a lot as well.. but for me it's more jstu the cuddling all nite.. I've done it before, and sometimes miss it...

HOneslty only way to overcome it is to avoid it. And just keep on keepin on as well.
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Old 17th July 2005, 09:18 AM
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Try buying her a chastity belt and giving the key to her daddy?

I know how you feel. It happens to me too. BUT now is not the Lord's time for that. It is not His Will.

The suggestions above are good ones.
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