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Singles (only*) A forum for the support of single members or Christians with the gift of celibacy. Posting is restricted to single members 18 and older. NOTE: This is not a dating or matchmaking service. *See Statement of Purpose

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  #1  
Old 5th July 2005, 10:13 PM
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Christians singles living together??

Ok Guys and Gals!! I have a good one here that I am sure someone has had experience with here. I have been dating a girl here and after almost a year, I have asked her to move in with me. Now I know what you are thinking and let me explain. We are both Christians, well; she is a young believer and getting stronger day by day. We routinely enjoy each others's company and we have spent many weekends together. From the very beginning, we both agreed that we would not partake in any sexual activity until marriage and we have been extremely firm in our resolve. We are not about to change that anytime soon.

So my question is this...has anyone had any experience in this arena since I am curious to know how widespread this is. I am sure that I will get flamed for this and I am sure for good reason but I am pretty firm in my decision.
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  #2  
Old 5th July 2005, 10:51 PM
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Well I will not flame you but I will say I don't think that it is right. Now what I ask you to do is pray about things. Remember until you are married either party can just walk out. Also living together can provide more temptation than just spending a weekend together. Trust me you need to think about her if she is young in the Lord then the best thing to do is not to put her into a conflict with faith. This is one of the hot button issues and if you are not careful you could start heading down a distructive path. I just ask you to pray and seek the Lord. Hey you have plenty of time to get to live with eachother when you are married.
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Old 5th July 2005, 11:09 PM
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I don't think that is such a good idea because what happens if you compromise your beliefs. God wants you two to give each other the night of virginity. As well as also live according to His limitations and plans.
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Old 5th July 2005, 11:12 PM
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Look, don't do it. Either you or she will not stand up to the temptation. And even if you do, it will look bad on both of you. Don't compromise your witness and/or purity, let alone hers.

What's especially disturbing is that she's a new believer. If she accepts, moves in, and you sleep together, what is that going to do to her young faith?
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Old 5th July 2005, 11:13 PM
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Woah JPP you already have them getting married and losing their virginities to each other
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Old 6th July 2005, 01:36 AM
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She's a young believer?

IMO, you're setting her up for temptation she shouldnt' be set up for, especially from another believer. Think of what you're doing.

Also IMO, when one is living with another person, there is no ... no one to give any sort of backing. If she suddenly claims you had sex with her, it's her word against yours. Period. There's no one else that can vouch for what happened inside the home. Suspicious are aroused immediately if a "couple" are even alone together for a bunch of hours with no one else around, let alone spending the night in the same house....

I don't care how strong a Christian you or she is. She's a new one, on top of that. But this is, to me, like walking into a bar with no other Christians in it, and trying to say you won't take a drink. You may be very right, and you may not have, but I have no idea if you did or not. No one to vouch for you anymore. Not to mention you're putting yourself into a huge temptation. It's tempting enough to walk down the street the way girls dress... now, I'm sure she doesn't dress that way, but being alone in a house with a girl? That temptation, for me, would be VERY great, and I can't see that I should be unwise enough to put myself into that situation.
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  #7  
Old 6th July 2005, 04:25 AM
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i agree with the previous posters, not a good idea.

as resolved as u think you are, man is still susceptible to the flesh. why create oppotunities of lust and temptation by staying together? be christ-focused, be patient for the time will come when you are finally married.
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Old 6th July 2005, 06:42 AM
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I know of Christain singles who lived together in mixed houses. They lived as platonic friends and are now all engaged to be married. Others live together and it functions well. So sometimes it does work
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Old 6th July 2005, 08:08 AM
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maybe if you lived with another one sharing your problem (more people in the house) Also it might not be to bad if you both have seperate rooms with seperate bathrooms.

I would not do it, and I will tell you this, you are ruining her reputation, and if you love her, this would not besomething you would want to do to her.

Do you love her enough not to ruin her reputation?
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Old 6th July 2005, 08:22 AM
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Originally Posted by london boy
I know of Christain singles who lived together in mixed houses. They lived as platonic friends and are now all engaged to be married.
That is different from a single couple moving in together. It's more acceptable and doable if say you have four guys and four girls, each with their own floors and they just share space like the living room and kitchen. But just a boyfriend and girlfriend moving in to the same house? No way. Even unbelievers who do not have our ethics say that resisting the temptation to sleep with female roomates is impossible.
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