| Courting Couples A forum for dating, courting & engaged couples. |
 | | 
12th May 2005, 08:07 PM
|  | Regular Member
29     
| | Join Date: 25th January 2005 Location: IL
Posts: 411
Blessings: 108,168
Reps: 969 (power: 0) | | | What's the downside to all this discussion?
Do you ever find yourself "meta-dating" your future spouse?
The other day, I caught myself reasoning that I should tell my girlfriend something because I know that girls want to feel beautiful. Shouldn't I just tell her because I think she is beautiful?
Stuff like that keeps happening to me, and it didn't really start until I was well-read on the "female perspective" in dating and various other sources of Christian courting advice. Does anyone else ever find themselves thinking weird stuff like that?
(I am not saying we have a problem, just something for me to work out. This is really for discussion purposes.) |
12th May 2005, 08:25 PM
|  | Senior Veteran
30  
| | Join Date: 24th March 2005 Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 3,073
Blessings: 186,843
Reps: 34,973 (power: 46) | | | Well part of finding out more about the fairer sex and how they think/feel and receive love, and then applying it to your relationship is a good thing IMO. Like for example when I first started dating my girlfriend, part of getting to know her better was learning how she liked to be loved and things that I could do to make her happy that were unique to her.
__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
13th May 2005, 09:52 AM
|  | He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
29  
 | | Join Date: 12th February 2004 Location: Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning... :)
Posts: 3,660
Blessings: 65,143
Reps: 140,085,448,497,796 (power: 140,085,448,510) | | Originally Posted by Spoilt Victorian Child Do you ever find yourself "meta-dating" your future spouse?
The other day, I caught myself reasoning that I should tell my girlfriend something because I know that girls want to feel beautiful. Shouldn't I just tell her because I think she is beautiful?
Stuff like that keeps happening to me, and it didn't really start until I was well-read on the "female perspective" in dating and various other sources of Christian courting advice. Does anyone else ever find themselves thinking weird stuff like that?
(I am not saying we have a problem, just something for me to work out. This is really for discussion purposes.)
Haha, sounds like you're a highly analytical type like myself  Ever take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? I'm betting you're an NT (I'm INTJ myself)
Anyhow... it doesn't hurt if you're telling her something truthful and think of telling it to her 'cause you know it'll encourage her. I'd say it'd be even more beneficial, though, for you to think of things in terms of what she as an individual would be encouraged and feel loved by, not what is said to apply to all girls.
Blessings 
kayli
__________________ "I have little doubt that when St. George had killed the dragon,
he was heartily afraid of the princess." -G.K. Chesterton
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
13th May 2005, 12:34 PM
| | Regular Member
29
| | Join Date: 25th January 2005 Location: IL
Posts: 411
Blessings: 108,168
Reps: 969 (power: 0) | | How'd you know? Weak I, Strong N, Strong T, Weak P represent!
I think you're right. And I think I sometimes worry about making a false step. Really, shouldn't I just go ahead and make the dumb moves now so I know what not to do in the future? She's patient and understanding -- it isn't as if she'll break up with me if every time together isn't perfect.
Before all of this easily available relationship advice, most people learned either a) the hard way, or b) from family members who knew both people well. Since we're all here, I suppose we can assume that they got together in spite of not knowing exactly what women want or what men want. |
15th May 2005, 08:45 PM
|  | Veteran
33   
| | Join Date: 10th December 2002 Location: Singapore
Posts: 1,206
Blessings: 95,596 My Mood 
Reps: 1,549 (power: 13) | | | yeah, i "meta date" too. I'm in an LDR and meeting my gf in july(hopefully)..already i fantasize about what to say to her when we're alone..lol..
And kayli, i'm INTJ too!!! I always want to understand how my girl does things..hehe
__________________
A life in Christ is a life of restfulness. There may be no ecstasy of
feeling, but there should be an abiding, peaceful trust.
Steps to Christ, p. 70. |
15th May 2005, 09:27 PM
| | He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
29
| | Join Date: 12th February 2004 Location: Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning... :)
Posts: 3,660
Blessings: 65,143
Reps: 140,085,448,497,796 (power: 140,085,448,510) | | Originally Posted by Spoilt Victorian Child How'd you know? Weak I, Strong N, Strong T, Weak P represent!
Score!  Any clue what type your g/f is? My fiance is also an INTJ like myself... that is definitely very helpful in many ways I think you're right. And I think I sometimes worry about making a false step. Really, shouldn't I just go ahead and make the dumb moves now so I know what not to do in the future? She's patient and understanding -- it isn't as if she'll break up with me if every time together isn't perfect.
Before all of this easily available relationship advice, most people learned either a) the hard way, or b) from family members who knew both people well. Since we're all here, I suppose we can assume that they got together in spite of not knowing exactly what women want or what men want.
Hehe, true indeed... though psychology, if used properly, always helps!
__________________ "I have little doubt that when St. George had killed the dragon,
he was heartily afraid of the princess." -G.K. Chesterton
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
15th May 2005, 09:30 PM
| | He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
29
| | Join Date: 12th February 2004 Location: Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning... :)
Posts: 3,660
Blessings: 65,143
Reps: 140,085,448,497,796 (power: 140,085,448,510) | | Originally Posted by seangoh yeah, i "meta date" too. I'm in an LDR and meeting my gf in july(hopefully)..already i fantasize about what to say to her when we're alone..lol..
And kayli, i'm INTJ too!!! I always want to understand how my girl does things..hehe
Awww.... good luck with your g/f... If you don't mind my offering a bit of advice (I met one of my exes over the Net, and I ended up with an ex fiance before I turned 20), take things very slowly and cautiously... and beware of interfering parents (SJ types tend to be the least likely to understand or accept us and/or Internet relationships). lol.
What type's your girl?
__________________ "I have little doubt that when St. George had killed the dragon,
he was heartily afraid of the princess." -G.K. Chesterton
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
16th May 2005, 02:40 AM
| | War, love, and prayer...my life
29
| | Join Date: 14th August 2004 Location: Kokomo, IN
Posts: 1,079
Blessings: 111,159
Reps: 31,064 (power: 41) | | | We now have four INTJs...enough to take over the world! Are you sure you've convinced your boyfriend enough yet, invisiblebabe? |
16th May 2005, 08:24 AM
| | Veteran
33
| | Join Date: 10th December 2002 Location: Singapore
Posts: 1,206
Blessings: 95,596 My Mood
Reps: 1,549 (power: 13) | | Originally Posted by invisiblebabe Awww.... good luck with your g/f... If you don't mind my offering a bit of advice (I met one of my exes over the Net, and I ended up with an ex fiance before I turned 20), take things very slowly and cautiously... and beware of interfering parents (SJ types tend to be the least likely to understand or accept us and/or Internet relationships). lol.
What type's your girl?
er..she did tell me she was melancholy and choleric..she didn't do the MBTI test so i'm not sure. But i'll have her do it one day..hehe. But she's very very understanding so it's a big plus for LDRs.
__________________
A life in Christ is a life of restfulness. There may be no ecstasy of
feeling, but there should be an abiding, peaceful trust.
Steps to Christ, p. 70. |
16th May 2005, 09:02 PM
| | Regular Member
29
| | Join Date: 25th January 2005 Location: IL
Posts: 411
Blessings: 108,168
Reps: 969 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by invisiblebabe Score! Any clue what type your g/f is? My fiance is also an INTJ like myself... that is definitely very helpful in many ways
She's strong I, weak T, weak S? (we're not sure about this one), and weak J. The only test she's taken was administered by me, haha. I figured out how to do it because it's fun and it's interesting conversation. | | |
| Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode |
| | |
