Home | Be a Christian | Devotionals | Join Us! | Forums | Rules | F.A.Q.


Go Back   Christian Forums > Ministry > Life Stages > Married Couples
Register BlogsPrayersJobsArcade Calendar Mark Forums Read

Married Couples Married Area - Available for those who are married, which is defined as a legal union between one man and one woman.

View Poll Results: What does head of household mean to you?
In charge of everything? 5 12.50%
In charge of when and how to have sex? 0 0%
All of the above. 1 2.50%
None of the above. 34 85.00%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Unread 9th May 2005, 12:04 AM
JimfromOhio's Avatar
Life of Trials :)

55 Gender: Male Married Faith: Lutheran Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 5 Years Tentmaker
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 7th February 2004
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 28,032
Blessings: 1,508,079
Blog Entries: 10
Reps: 172,927,158,589,327,136 (power: 172,927,158,589,366)
JimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond repute
JimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond reputeJimfromOhio has a reputation beyond repute
Ephesians 5:21 basically means husbands and wives are to submit themselves one to another. Involved in submission are the virtues of humility, forgiveness, and servanthood. In other words as we submit ourselves to one another we must humble ourselves.

Charles Swindoll sums up this passage of Ephesians 5:21-6:4 scripture in this way: "Tucked away within the seams of these verses are two implied yet penetrating questions each partner needs to ask. The wife must come to terms with her role and ask, "Do I love my husband enough to live for him? " And equally important the husband must come to terms with his role and ask, "Do I love my wife enough to die for Her?" Searching questions. But they put the issues in the right perspective.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
God knows all. He has known everything from the beginning. Nothing is a surprise to God, nor does He ever come into possession of new knowledge. Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?

God gave us conscience. If the truth of God's Word opposes the world's wisdom on a certain issue, you must align yourself with God's Word.

Faith is from God, not from man. Man can do nothing to earn or receive it. Martin Luther

If we take our doctrines into our hearts where they belong, they can cause upheavals of emotion and sleepless nights. This is far better than toying with academic ideas that never touch life. John Piper

Faith is the gift of God – not the result of the persuasion of the evangelist.Jerry Bridges
Reply With Quote
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!

  #12  
Unread 9th May 2005, 12:04 AM
Svt4Him's Avatar
Legend

43 Gender: Male Faith: Non-Denominational Party: CA-Conservatives Country: Canada Member For 5 Years Commander
 
Join Date: 23rd October 2003
Posts: 15,811
Blessings: 50,286
Reps: 486,987,417,893,972,416 (power: 486,987,417,893,998)
Svt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond repute
Svt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond reputeSvt4Him has a reputation beyond repute
From themarriagebed.com
Headship is a sticky issue; just mentioning it can get folks uptight. This is probably because in the past some have misused scriptures about headship to make women second-class members of the Body of Christ. Years of abuse have made the parts of the Bible which discuss God's intended structure for marriage too hot to handle for some. Avoiding the issue altogether is tempting, but rather than run from it, we need to find and proclaim God's truth.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Eph. 5:25

In both the Old and the New Testaments of the Bible, God uses the husband and wife relationship to explain His relationship with us, His people. I find the idea that I should treat my wife as Jesus treats the church to be both instructive and VERY challenging. I'm supposed to emulate the perfect Christ, while my wife is to emulate the very imperfect church .... now who has the worse end of THAT deal?!? I will never be able to love and care for Lori the way Jesus loves and cares for me, but the fact that I should helps me understand who I am to be as husband and head.






Why I'm the head: I must understand that I'm not the head because I am smarter, better, or otherwise superior to her in any way. My headship is positional; I'm the head because God said so, not because I deserve it in any way. Just as Jesus, who was equal to God in all ways, submitted to the Father, so our wives, who are equal to us in all ways eternal, are called to submit to us. God is a God of order, and He requires us to submit to the order He created. When we do this, things work well; when we don't, things end up a mess. While men are not the head because they are better in any way, God always equips us to do that which He calls us to; thus a man who seeks to be the head of his marriage and household will be empowered by God to do the job beyond his own natural ability.

Why being the head makes me a servant: Some think being the head makes a man "the boss" who can do what he wants and demand what he wants. This is not what God calls us to as the head. When we look at Jesus, we see that He was a servant leader. He never demanded or forced His will, even when He knew those around Him were wrong. Jesus was actually rejected by many Jews because He came to serve, not to rule. Likewise we as husbands are called to serve our wives, not rule them. Yes, we are to lead, but it's a leadership based on willing following, not on coercion, force or fear.

A while back some folks at our church were discussing plans for a Valentine's Day banquet. Someone suggested taking Communion, and this prompted another to suggest foot washing. One fellow said "Yeah, our wives can wash our feet" and several men joined in approvingly. But they had it backwards!! Jesus washed the disciples' feet, not the other way around. In Jesus' time it was customary to have a servant wash the guest feet when they came into the house (sandals and dirt roads, you understand). Foot washing was assigned to the lowest servant in the house, so Jesus wasn't just playing the role of a servant, He was being the lowest of the low. As husbands we are called to wash the feet of our wives, not have her wash our feet.

It's not what either of us wants, it's about what God wants.

How God calls me to lead: It's not about doing it my way, and it's not about doing it her way. Try thinking of it as being the head of the marriage; the goal is not to rule her, but to guide and direct "us" as a couple. Sometimes what's best for the marriage happens to be what I'd like; sometimes it happens to be what she'd like; sometimes it's something that neither of us really want to do. In short, it's not what either of us wants, it's about what God wants.

Why I'm a fool if I ignore my wife's input: Okay, fool is a strong word, but what else would you call someone who makes decisions without getting all the information? My wife has a different perspective than I do, and that perspective can be extremely valuable. I should not only listen to my wife, I should seek her thoughts and feelings before I make decisions. Peter suggests that men who don't pay attention to their wives are crippling themselves in more ways than one:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with
understanding, giving honor to the wife,
... that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Pet. 3:7

Why being the head doesn't entitle me to demand anything: Free will is real big with God; He even gave us the free will to reject Him and His love. If God gave us that kind of free will with Him, how could He expect anything less in our relationships with other humans? It's one thing to tell my wife what I think should be done, but I see no scriptural support for demanding or forcing her to comply. Jesus never treated people that way, so how can I treat my wife that way?

I'm responsible to lead; I'm not responsible for her following. When the Church fails to follow the Lord, does that mean Jesus has failed? NO!! Similarly, I'm not a failure if my wife chooses not to follow what I say. That's between her and God; it's not my place to make her comply, and it's not my place to take punitive measures.

Being the head is not the cushy perk -illed job some men and women think it is, at least not if we do it God's way. I understand the men who abdicate their duty as head; headship is just plain hard! Still, we're called to do it, and we'll be judged for our obedience or lack of obedience. Failing to be the head God called us to be brings a curse on us and our entire family, but obedience brings blessings to all. As I walk in it, He is with me, guiding me. When I'm not sure how I should proceed, I always think about what Jesus would do with the Church; He is my example and guide.
__________________
Some people have enough dust on their Bibles to write "Damnation" on it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Unread 9th May 2005, 04:12 AM
lin1235's Avatar
Jana's mommy!

37 Gender: Female Married Faith: Protestant Country: South Africa Member For 5 Years Steward
 
Join Date: 29th March 2005
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,878
Blessings: 139,390
My Mood Mellow
Reps: 45,759 (power: 57)
lin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to behold
lin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to beholdlin1235 is a splendid one to behold
My husband is the head of our household. It does not mean he is my boss; it means he is the leader, and I follow his leadership. He doesn't have "power" over me, but God has chosen him to give direction in our relationship and our marriage, and while I do give input, the ultimate decision-making is in my husband's hands, and his responsibility. We make most decisions together, but if we differ on an issue, I submit to what he decides is best.
__________________
"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen: Either there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly" - Patrick Overton
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Unread 9th May 2005, 07:38 AM
“In case I don't see ya…”

Gender: Female Married Faith: Non-Denominational Member For 5 Years Fisherman
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 8th February 2004
Posts: 5,473
Blessings: 178,320
Reps: 36,423,379,464 (power: 36,423,395)
Cordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond repute
Cordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond repute
From what I understand, there are two ways to approach the question of what “head” (or kephale – the word used in the Bible) means.

1) Head representing “authority” (example: the “head nurse”)
2) Head meaning “origin” or “source” (example: the “head of the river)

1. "Authority"

If "head", in the relevant biblical passages, was intended to mean authority, we have to look at the context, rather than just finding key words and bringing assumptions to them. For instance, the popularly used passage of Ephesians 5:22, “wives, submit to your husbands”, is a little misleading in many English translations. In the original Greek passage, this phrase (verse) doesn’t actually have the word "submit" in it, but we know it is referring to subject of "submission" because it is found in the previous verse (5:21), which discusses all belivers submitting to one another. We know we are supposed to imply the word "submit" from v. 21 into v. 22 because in the original writings, this was all one sentence. The Greek passage would go something like this “…submit to one another; wives to your husbands…” We therefore have to remember that this is not simply a command to wives, but to all believers. The bit about the wives is a simply a specific example of the whole.

So with that in mind, we move onto husbands. Under this theme of submitting to and being united with one another, husbands are reminded of how Christ gave himself up for us. That is an ultimate demonstration of putting others before oneself. Therefore, when looking at this in context, we can see that all believers are supposed to put each other before themselves. Wives are to have this attitude toward their husbands, and husbands toward their wives.

So, in this context, if "head" is intended to mean “authority”, I think it is apparent that it doesn’t mean “last say” or “the boss” , but a servant leader how puts his wife above himself, and by doing so lifts her up. It winds up working toward mutual submission.

2. "Source" or "Origin"

If , on the other hand, "head" means “source” or “origin”, then I can’t find where there are implications of authority in the meaning. I can see the strength in this this approach because of the frequently used meaning of kephale (or “head”). For instance, when translating the Old Testament to Greek, the word kephale was only to mean authority 5% of the time (if I remember correctly). Just because our present English-speaking society understands the word “head” to mean authority doesn’t necessarily mean that biblical society saw the word “kephale” in the same way. Sometimes I think we need to throw of our cultural glasses and truly investigate what the words signified in their own time and context.



No matter what which way I look at, there is no room for this commanding hierarchy that “head” is to often made to be. Either way I approach it, I see a message that husband and wife are to be giving and submitting to each other, putting the other before themselves.
__________________
“… good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” ~The Truman Show

Last edited by Cordy; 9th May 2005 at 08:09 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Unread 9th May 2005, 09:33 AM
Veteran

29 Gender: Female Faith: Agnostic Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 6th February 2005
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 1,648
Blessings: 161,727
Reps: 4,236 (power: 15)
Mirelys is a glorious beacon of light
Mirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of lightMirelys is a glorious beacon of light
Either way I approach it, I see a message that husband and wife are to be giving and submitting to each other, putting the other before themselves.


There's really no way to go wrong with that
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Unread 9th May 2005, 11:34 AM
Zoomer's Avatar
Senior Veteran

34 Gender: Female Married Faith: Lutheran Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 29th June 2004
Posts: 3,648
Blessings: 151,751
Reps: 17,200 (power: 31)
Zoomer is a splendid one to behold
Zoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to beholdZoomer is a splendid one to behold
I voted none of the above. The think the main job as the head of the household is being the spiritual leader of the family. All other issues can be divided as wished, as long as both spouses agree. In our family, my main role is to care for the family and keep up the house. My secondary roles is to work outside the home. My husband main role is as spiritual head, and to a lesser degree, as the main bread winner. His secondary role is that of the kids and house. We both go over our finanaces, but I am the one who gets final say, writes the checks, and mails the bills. When an issue comes up we usually discuss it until we can come to some agreement. He knows not to make decisions without me and I would never without him.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Unread 9th May 2005, 12:10 PM
andiesmama's Avatar
Senior Contributor

Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 17th September 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,851
Blessings: 146,175
My Mood Amazed
Reps: 130,594 (power: 148)
andiesmama has disabled reputation
I voted none of the above as well...my husband & I have a mutual relationship, that is, we discuss all decisions, he is aware of my thoughts & feelings...but in the end my husband makes the ultimate decision. 9 times out of 10 it's a decision that we both have agreed upon, but once in awhile he makes a decision that I don't necessarily agree with, but I submit to it because I trust him to make the best decision that's right for our family.

(and can I say the word "decision" just ONE more time?? lol)
__________________
The good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climb ~~ Lone Star

Visit me
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
anyone??
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Unread 9th May 2005, 04:11 PM
Redguard's Avatar
Make It So, Number One!

35 Gender: Male Married Faith: Christian Party: CA-Liberals Country: Canada Member For 5 Years Commander
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 20th October 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 12,354
Blessings: 115,983
My Mood Fine
Blog Entries: 2
Reps: 350,591,866,329,552 (power: 350,591,866,351)
Redguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond repute
Redguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond reputeRedguard has a reputation beyond repute
Me vote "none of the above."

We operate with a sort of 'dual' leadership. Neither of us makes any important decisions without consulting the other.

During worship, I'm usually the one to pray though... so I guess I take charge in that respect.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Unread 9th May 2005, 06:32 PM
Legend

48 Gender: Male Married Faith: Charismatic Party: CA-Conservatives Country: Canada Member For 5 Years Watchman
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 25th June 2003
Posts: 19,745
Blessings: 18,124,198
My Mood Blessed
Reps: 2,525,083,076,342,829,056 (power: 0)
Yitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond repute
Yitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond reputeYitzchak has a reputation beyond repute
Neither one of us is the "head of our household". We do things as a partnership. We recognise that whatever things we both do effect the other one since we are married and have one common destiny in that sense. We also are aware that God is the head of our home. Our unity is found in following God. In areas where God's will is unclear or unimportant issues, we prefer each other above ourselves in love.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Unread 9th May 2005, 06:44 PM
“In case I don't see ya…”

Gender: Female Married Faith: Non-Denominational Member For 5 Years Fisherman
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 8th February 2004
Posts: 5,473
Blessings: 178,320
Reps: 36,423,379,464 (power: 36,423,395)
Cordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond repute
Cordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond reputeCordy has a reputation beyond repute
Originally Posted by Yitzchak
Neither one of us is the "head of our household". We do things as a partnership. We recognise that whatever things we both do effect the other one since we are married and have one common destiny in that sense. We also are aware that God is the head of our home. Our unity is found in following God. In areas where God's will is unclear or unimportant issues, we prefer each other above ourselves in love.
and
__________________
“… good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” ~The Truman Show
Reply With Quote
Reply


Return to Married Couples

Thread Tools
Display Modes


 
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:31 AM.