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  #1  
Unread 13th April 2005, 06:15 AM
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Christian husband lies

Any advice on how to handle a Christian husband who lies constantly? Thank you.
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  #2  
Unread 13th April 2005, 02:11 PM
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Prayer

Well, his lying will catch up with him and hopefully embarass him enough that he would stop! Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict him...that he'd realize there liberty and joy, the favor of God in speaking the truth! Pray against a foothold of pride, self-esteem issues, and deception. If he lying to make himself look better, pray that he'd recognize his way isn't working, just making things worse. Pray that he revere Jesus more and even for him to experience the great love of Christ! Speaking the truth will surely gain him more respect, especially in difficult situations.

Effective prayer comes from understanding the reason for his lying...when he started lying...what he lying about...why is he lying...even who he is lying to...

Here are some Scriptures for your spiritual warfare:

1 Samuel 12:24 Only fear the LORD, and serve Him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things He hath done for you.

Psalm 31:5 Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

Psalm 51:6 Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

John 8:31-36 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on Him, If ye continue in My word, then are ye My disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. They answered Him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free? Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

John 10:10 ...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me.

2 John 4 I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth, as we have received a commandment from the Father.
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  #3  
Unread 13th April 2005, 02:31 PM
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Yes the lies,
I've just expierienced this myself,
it hurts dosen't it, and how to trust again, it's difficult....
But for me I am just spending time seeking the Lord, because dwelling on it won't change anything. So I am hoping seeking His kingdom, will bring the outcome I am praying for!!!

Let's pray for eachother!!!!
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Unread 13th April 2005, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by greyhound
Any advice on how to handle a Christian husband who lies constantly? Thank you.
It depends. What is he lying about?

Lying about different things has different meanings. Could you give an example or two?

If he's lying to get out of trouble, then, obviously, you need to confront that. But if he's just making things up for no reason, this is probably a sign that he's got some serious self image problems and it might be a good idea to see somebody to talk about these things.
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  #5  
Unread 13th April 2005, 11:34 PM
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Talk with a spiritual leader to help you set up relistic bounderies and consenquences for your situation.. Get help from friends and family to encourage you and help you sick with your plan. Follow through!!!
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  #6  
Unread 14th April 2005, 04:44 PM
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Well, I have had some experience with this myself. I have been in the horrible habit of lying about stupid things to my BF. It developed from when I was a child, because I always had to look out for myself when no one else was. In most cases, there is a reason or problem behind the lying. I always want to do things perfect, so when something goes wrong, and I'm worried about what my BF will think, I have a tendency to lie about it.

It's a really hard thing to work through, but maybe he just needs to be made aware why he is doing it. My BF loves me to death and would never leave me, and I know that in my head, but I still unconsciously worry about it. Try working through it and trying to uncover the truth. Sometimes it's just buried so deep that it's hard to find.

Good Luck
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Unread 17th April 2005, 11:22 AM
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talk to him. sit down and have a good talk to him. If he loves you and put God in the first place, He shouldn't lie. God will punish him if he lies to his wife. Tell him that a r/s is based on trust and faith towards God. If lie is coming into your way, tell him that is wrong already.
* dun end up in a quarrel !
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Unread 17th April 2005, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by trust_faith
talk to him. sit down and have a good talk to him. If he loves you and put God in the first place, He shouldn't lie. God will punish him if he lies to his wife. Tell him that a r/s is based on trust and faith towards God. If lie is coming into your way, tell him that is wrong already.
* dun end up in a quarrel !
Amen! Lying is very destructive to any relationship. Trust is the foundation of all relationships so if the trust is violated, it will be very difficult to rebuild that trust. I would encourage you to seek counseling for yourself. To stay in a relationship where there is constant lying, then it will be destructive to your marriage and to your spiritual growth. Your self esteem will also suffer (if it hasn't already). It would also be in your husband's best interest to seek counseling too. He needs to be held accountable and work through his issues.

Good luck and draw close to God right now. God bless you.
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  #9  
Unread 18th April 2005, 04:29 PM
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Almost all lies are FEAR based.

Fear of Nagging (they figure you will nag if told the truth, so if they get by w/it great, if caught later well better later than NOW to have to hear it).

Fear of Rejection ( if they say I don't know.. you will think them stupid or less of a person) so they make up stuff to make themselves look important.

Fear of Confrontion (rather than tell you No--plain and simple) they figure there will be an arguement (projection) so they tell you what they THINK you want to hear to avoid it.

Fear of Exposure (having done a known wrong, they fear they will be found out) So they lie.

Get to the bottom of the fears and you may make progress, but if this is a grown man--I doubt this will change. Just consider the source. You know he lies so expect it and put no faith in what he tells you. To do otherwise will only dissapoint you.
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  #10  
Unread 22nd April 2005, 12:45 PM
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I agree with dyanm, good advice. There is almost always something behind lies. I don't know anyone who just lies for no reason. Like dyanm said, oftentimes it's fear behind the lies. Good luck, and please update us on your situation so we can continue to pray for you.
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