My young daughter filed for divorce & is pregnant.

I don't really know what to say except if there's anyone out there that is a young mother with children who has filed for divorce because She herself cheated on your husband, I need to hear from you...I am a mother of a daughter who is experiencing all these things. She has a 20 month old child and is now 5 months pregnant and just had her first court hearing dealing with child custody and child support....what happens next????
La-Buck

Is the baby to be her husbands or not ?

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Putting the Irate in Pirate for 46 Years
Proud Husband and Father
Tattooed White Trash
Friend of Bill W.

Hopefully you chastise her for her indiscretions and refuse to help her until she changes her ways. I've seen such women. The flout the law and as, 'What did I do?' Such "women or people" learn too late the folly of their ways.

Desi, I can see that you are not a parent. La-Buck how did the hearing with the comissioner go?

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Putting the Irate in Pirate for 46 Years
Proud Husband and Father
Tattooed White Trash
Friend of Bill W.

My heart goes out to you. I have a daughter and that would make me so sad. Your daughter must have been very unhappy in her marriage. I don't know the whole situation and will say a prayer for her, and for you also.

You can love and support her while not condoning her behavior. She obviously is having some life changes and will need you, especially to pray for her.

We don't know her circumstances to know what she is going through. But we do know from what you have told us that her children will need a godly, loving, stable grandma!

Your daughter is young, and the young can lack wisdom. Perhaps motherhood and marriage hit her with a reality she was not ready for...perhaps she made a poor choice for a husband, and Satan used her unhappiness to lead her to cheat.

God has not given up on your daughter or her children. He still loves her, and you. But by closing the door on her and refusing to love her because of her sin would not make the situation any better.

I am praying for all of you!

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There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~Frank A. Clark

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. ~Rabindranath Tagore

Actually I'm the parent of five, soon to be six. I've known several people who've left their spouses for greener pastures. In cases where the parents supported their wayward married children's decisions 'right or wrong' divorce happened more often than when the parents did not support their child leaving the spouse. In the case of my stepbrother, his exwife's parents let her live at their home while they "worked things out" until she decided to divorce him despite him going to counseling and begging her to stay. He is by all accounts a great guy who most people like. He doesn't cheat, drink, or beat women. Her parents both cried when they realized they were losing a great son in-law in part due to their enabling their daughter to leave. Paula never did give Chad a reason why she called it quits. As parents it is up to us to help our children when they need it. Sometimes helping them means setting them straight when they are wrong.

My point in this is the grandkids, my oldest daughter is a beanhead and I agree with about 5% of her decisions. I also have an 8 month old grandson to worry about. She would not get off scott free believe me, I am very free with advice and councel. She would rue the day that she did that to her husband.

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Putting the Irate in Pirate for 46 Years
Proud Husband and Father
Tattooed White Trash
Friend of Bill W.

Oldrooster...

I bet you are a fun, fun grandpa.

Got a car seat on the back of that bike yet?

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There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~Frank A. Clark

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. ~Rabindranath Tagore

Let me know, because I could possibly be in the same situation. 25 years old- don't know if you consider that young, my son is 2 and I'm pregnant and have been having a lot of thoughts regarding divorce lately. I've been unhappy for 5 years, and yes, probably would have done it sooner if I had more support. My hubby is also a good man and my in-laws would mourn.

But let me give you advice based on my own personal convictions and experiance. I think taking Desi's advice would be very bad. Meaning, if you tried to control her actions by giving no support, for crying out loud, you are her mother. Let me tell you something, my best friend and her husband chose to take this "tough love" stance with me a few years back. And now I'm afraid our relationship is irreparible because they chose to play judge in my life. I'm sure your daughter has enough problems already, your dissaproval, anyone's dissaproval and refusal to support someone is not going to change that person's heart- only the holy spirit can do that. And by my best friend threatening to make my situation harder by kicking me out- yes, temporarily it made the idea of staying with my hubby more appealing- but it did not bring healing. And it brought a great deal of resentment.

Let's look at our father's example, I know other's have different opinoins regarding this, but let me tell you how I see God. Someone that is there for me even when everyone else turns their back on me. Someone that is there showing me mercy, love and grace, rather than throwing stones or condemning me. If that were all christianity were about, I would want no part in it. I truly would not want to serve an unsympathetic God- and our God is extremely sympathetic.

I think that if you are to bring up your concerns, that it would be a better approach of care and concern. Letting her know you are there for her, but that you are concerned about her predicament. Let me tell you something, I think my mom is 42 or 43 now, and she lives 2000 miles a way. And it's interesting because she is the person I've been needing and wanting the most lately. There is nothing like a mother's comfort or support. My mother, thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is not the judgemental type- she believes in respect of everyone, without judgement, because no one really knows, they aren't in your daughters shoes. And even if she is just making a stupid mistake, without any good reason to divorce her hubby- please know that alienating her is not the answer- I believe that is the same as manipulation and control- unless you truly don't want anything to do with her due to dissaproval (not a person I'd go running to, I'll tell you that for sure).

Listen everyone- you cannot control or change someone. And true Godliness and change comes from within- regardless of how much you stick to the word (remind me of pharisee living actually). Only the holy spirit can change someone, or even lead someone to repent. You can pray for them, with them, you can listen to them and be a sounding bored- sometimes that's all they need. There may be times when you are lead to be bold about it- which I believe is rare. But sometimes ppl are going to make mistakes, and God will teach them- if you belong to God, he is faithful, he is faithful to complete what he has started in us. But I highly disagree with outing your own child because you feel like they are sinning, making a mistake- whatever the case may be!!!! I don't feel our heavenly father is that way. But that's just me. It's love that draws us, and the holy spirit that causes us to repent.

But of course, you need to pray and really follow what you believe God is leading you to do in your heart. Good luck. God Bless.