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  #1  
Unread 18th October 2004, 10:04 AM
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Question Married in the eye's of God

I have a question my husband and I have been struggling about with his mother. She is a widow and a Christian and has found another man to "marry." Since she would lose her benefits if she remarried, they had a pastor "marry" them in God's eyes only. Of course they are not legally married, as they have not followed the laws of the land, but does God honor there marriage? Any advice would be appreciated as she has told us, if you do not accept us as married, we have no relationship with you.
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  #2  
Unread 18th October 2004, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by robinsnest2+3
Since she would lose her benefits if she remarried
What benefits?
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  #3  
Unread 18th October 2004, 02:51 PM
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This is an interesting question. I wonder if someone could educate us on the history of "marriage." How recent of an occurence is it historically that "marriage" became a state sanctioned legal relationship as opposed to a church-blessed union of two persons. What was the practice in Biblical times or in the times of the early church?

I have heard than in some Middle Eastern traditions marriage and divorce is as simple as saying three times some variation of "I wed you." "I divorce you." If I was a Christian in 100 A.D., would I have had to have a marriage license to be married?

Okay, you historians out there. Enlighten us!

As for the posters question, I would tend to believe that being married in the eyes of the state is not the same thing as being married in the eyes of God. Still, there is that thing about, "...rendering unto Caesar..."

seeking.IAM
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  #4  
Unread 18th October 2004, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by robinsnest2+3
I have a question my husband and I have been struggling about with his mother. She is a widow and a Christian and has found another man to "marry." Since she would lose her benefits if she remarried, they had a pastor "marry" them in God's eyes only. Of course they are not legally married, as they have not followed the laws of the land, but does God honor there marriage? Any advice would be appreciated as she has told us, if you do not accept us as married, we have no relationship with you.
First thing that came to mind was "thou shalt not bear false witness". Sounds like a plan to 'get your cake and eat it too', and ultimately, with the little info here, sounds very dishonest.

If we take the road that a legal marriage is not a marriage in the eyes of God, we have a lot of Biblical teachings that we have to discount or work around, in my opinion. And if we then work around them, we have to then work around all of the teachings re: fornication, adultery, divorce, marriage, etc. To me, and I know I'm opinionated, going down that path would seem to be nothing more than an attempt for Christian's to twist God's words to satisfy their own "flesh" desires....
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  #5  
Unread 18th October 2004, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by bkg
First thing that came to mind was "thou shalt not bear false witness". Sounds like a plan to 'get your cake and eat it too', and ultimately, with the little info here, sounds very dishonest.
While I don't think that you have to be 'legally' married to be married in the eyes of God, I completely agree with the above quote. If the only reason that they aren't married legally is that she would lose her 'benifits', it's wrong. I think that God probably does see them as husband and wife, but they are still sinning by being dishonest.
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  #6  
Unread 18th October 2004, 09:40 PM
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I second the dishonest statement. By benefits do you mean a pension of some sort?

If so, I think she's trying to cheat the system (and therefore all of us) by joining in marriage and in finances with a different man. Pensions after the spouse dies and widow payments are supposed to support a widow...not someone who's found a new hunny but still wants the money.
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  #7  
Unread 18th October 2004, 09:41 PM
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Welcome to CF!

It seems to me that if they were so concerned about having God's blessing by being joined in His eyes, they would be willing to trust Him to provide for what the benefits cover.

It would be easier for me if my husband and I were not legally married, because then we would earn more in taxes and I could apply fro and be granted all sorts of federal aid in childcare, insurance, etc. But I love my husband, God wants me to be married to Him, so married we are in all respects.

If your Mom is ready to turn her back on all of you for the sake of her marriage, then support her. She isn't being immoral or living in sin, at least IMO, but she isn't exactly living out her faith and being truthful.
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  #8  
Unread 19th October 2004, 12:19 AM
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God never violates His own word, so as nice as it sounds, they are not married in God's eyes. You can not say "I believe in this BUT" as there are no but's when it comes to God's word.
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  #9  
Unread 6th December 2012, 02:34 PM
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It's not uncommon for Quakers to marry without a marriage license or registering their marriages with the state. I can't see God not recognizing their marriages.

This is becoming more popular due to the fact that the family justice system appears to be so unjust at times and the cost of divorce is so terribly high. Courts are often biased against men or the "Christian parent". Never before might a man face losing nearly two thirds of his income in a divorce.

I know of couples who have desperate need of insurance or benefits they can only qualify for if single. To legally marry would essentially render them destitute and in serious need of insurance that they cannot afford.

More and more couples are opting to have what are being called "private marriages" or "spiritual marriages" complete with marriage ceremonies, marriage certificates, and witnesses. They just don't get a "marriage license" (which marriage isn't illegal and a couple shouldn't need a license to begin with) and they don't file taxes as a married couple.

One pastor states that in fact Christians SHOULDN'T get marriage licenses:

5 Reasons Why Christians Should Not Obtain a State Marriage License

One ministry I heard of specializes in providing these "spiritual marriages":

Home_Page

Many believe that marriage is a deeply private and spiritual matter that is a covenant between two people and God. It's not a "corporate contract" or "social contract" to be regulated by the state.

If Quakers can marry without government intrusion... why couldn't any devout Christian???

Last edited by Stealth001; 6th December 2012 at 02:48 PM.
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  #10  
Unread 6th December 2012, 02:42 PM
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The OP is from 2004.
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