pastor

Hey wanted to see if I could get some advice. new here hope this posting isn't out of line. I really don't like my pastor. I have tried and tried to overcome this but I can't. he's said some very hurtful things that I thought were out of line. Other people in the church feel the same.If he's approached or questioned about a problem someone has with his actions he gets angry. He's really harsh. lots of times he singles out people from the pulpit something he believes is wrong in thier life and his entire sermon is based on that. It's hard to know if you're hearing GOD or the man. He seems to resent any personal time he might have to give and i definently don't feel like he has love. But he does preach the gospel and lead a righteous life. our church teaches that for the most part you should stay in the church you were saved in unless there's a move or something that can't be avoided, and that you're out of the will of GOD if you leave. So much more i could say but this is long already. any help would be good

Try to find a church where the word of God is preached, there are beleivers who are similar to you and you feel comfortable that the pastor is annointed by the Holy Spirit. We are one body. If you don't fit with the fingers, it may be that you are really a toe ! There should be no condemnation from your current church if they are seeing the same thing you are. This is especially true if the pastor will not listen to your concerns. Trust God and seek His guidance and He will put you where you need to be.

Have you talked to your church elders or deacons. It is a hard thing to have to talk to a church authority about another like this. Be careful, make sure your words are from a loving heart, satan loves this kind of thing, this is where church splits begin, people divide etc. One of our troubles in some churches (if not all) is we put the Pastors on a pedestal that we cannot reach. We think they are infalable etc. The truth is they struggle with the same issues we do. I would suggest talking to a godly elder or deacon. Bounce off your concerns and listen to what they say. If they agree, take that person and ask another authority about this issue. If you all agree, go as a group to face the Pastor of your concerns. If he is a Godly man, he will see that you are making a sincere approach to him with concerns and not out on a witch hunt. The Bible makes it clear that if you have something against a brother, approach them, if that does not work, take a brother with you. The Bible also makes it clear that when it comes to Pastors etc. that there should be more than 2 people that agree, I believe that this is here to protect God's servants from malicous attacks. I feel for you, this is a tough situation and a very hard one to be in. All the best.

This may seem a harsh answer, but you should go to your pastor and ask his forgiveness for your wrong attitude. I would be amazed if he got angry at this.

Secondly, you should spend time in prayer for him. You do not know what personal battles he is undergoing.

It is important to remember that that you are not responsible for your pastor's attitude you are only responsible for your own. Taking offence is a spiritual killer.

God has placed that man in his position of authority. Until God removes him, stick with him. (Or until God moves you - be very sure it is God that moves you).

There are too many christians, especially in western churches, who jump about from church to church based on how they feel about God's leadership in that place. These people never grow in God because they never learn to respect the authority of those above them. If you do not respect the authority God has placed over you, then you will never be given authority yourself.

If your flesh is anything like mine it will kick against the idea of asking forgiveness of someone you think is wrong. However I believe this act can break any stronghold in this area. What harm can it do you anyway?

As I said, you do not know what battle or turmoil this man may be in. Your act could be something that helps give him the victory, and lets him be the pastor you want him to be.

If you have something against a brother, you should go to them and get it off your chest. We are supposed to teach and share the truth in love, but some people's personalities are as easily lent to finer disposition. If God is trying to speak to you, then be thankful for someone who will tell the truth. In the last days, it says people will seek for teachers and prophets who will scratch their ears and only tell them smooth things. Sometimes the good news is the bad news about our sins and the remedy we have through the blood of the lamb and repentence. Forgiveness the good and repentence the bad - not always being easy to do for various reasons, such as pride.
If he is a really bad shepherd of the flock, time will tell it, but I would not run from church to church hunting for someone honey sweet. God puts us in places so that we can make a difference in the place he sets us. Things don't happen by chance, and the trials and choices we make need to be prayed about with sincereity before cutting and running for a different group of people and leaving behind those we were supposed to have loved and ministered to???

Matthew 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
4 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

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Galations 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

To avoid sticking my foot in my mouth, I should clarify that I had thought you had already approached the pastor with one or more other members of your church. (it was late and I know I shouldn't make assumptions ) If you have already followed the biblical steps that the others have brought up, and he is still unwilling to listen, do not feel bound to this church because you are taught to stay in this church for life. Pray and seek Gods guidance and trust what He tells you.
In His love,
Rob

Thank you. I don't mind hard advice. i want to do what GOD wants me to do but it feels like I'm not gonna stay saved if I continue like i am. this is so confusing. our church used to be so great so much love GOd really broke through my heart barriers in there. But offenses have come to many. There have been large splits within our larger church fellowship it's seperated families and we are a tiny church and at least three families have left, people I loved. I should say I am a woman with a husband and kids this may be a whole other topic but it figures in here my husband is a christian also but he will not take his place as spiritual leader I have begged him we won't even go to church if I don't say so.I have to make the choices and it scares me because I'm not a good leader. if someone leaves our fellowship they are labeled backsliders and you are advised not to see them or talk to them. we have tried other churches and I do feel led back to this one but then it feels so bad there that it's hard to even go. i am so far from where I was. I know I need to forgive and love unconditionally, but I feel so confused and hurt and yes bitter. I have been to my pastor to ask for his forgiveness before, I thought that would end it but it comes back. It's like everyone is struggling so hard there even the really strong christians just to hang on and we can't help eachother. anyway I do appreciate the truth spoken in love which may not be what I wanna hear but I need an end to this confusion

"if someone leaves our fellowship they are labeled backsliders and you are advised not to see them or talk to them." THIS is very unhealthy and definitely un-Biblical!

It appears you have indeed taken the proper steps mentioned above. I can relate to you. I stuck it out under a cruel pastor for 7 years. He was something like your pastor. The pastor had a spirit of control, and I think even the elders feared his chastisement. No one who left that church was considered to be saved, and publicly the pastor denounced them from the pulpit as unbelievers, and he instructed the congregation to treat them as such. This was not some strange, border-line cult, it was a major Christian denomination. I was young and didn't want to leave my friends. When I had suffered enough, even spiritually depressed, I broke free. It was like I could breathe and smell fresh air again.

I pray that God will make it plain to you what He expects you to do in your situation. I hope that God is dealing with the pride and sins of this pastor toward a renewing of his mind. Do many others share your feelings at your church? I don't much care for "church hopping," but sometimes when the shepherd is not shepherding efficaciously the sheep may have to jump the fence to a sweeter pasture.

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"...I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son." Revelation 21: 6,7.

sounds like a cult, not a church. You worship God, not the pastor... so find a place where you feel spiritually fed, led and encouraged to grow in Christ.

Amen to this. Those in authority have a grave responsibility to be the example for their flock. Humility, kindness, gentleness and compassion are the hallmarks of our Saviour and they should be the hallmark of His shepherds. I will pray for you...